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S/O: she doesn't like being told to do something
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 1:51 am
[quotequote="amother"]So my 5 year old DD has never liked being given a direct request to do something. Anything from "please wipe your nose" to "please pick up the coat you threw on the floor" is usually met with a "I don't want to" or "I'm too tired" or "maybe later" or "you do it."

Pushing the issue by repeating the request makes her more and more upset.

She sometimes responds to requests framed as games, like "who can pick up the most Lego pieces?" Or cooperates if I help her like "I'll put away my coat if you put away my shoes." Or of course if I bribe her or threaten a consequence.

She'll turn anything into a negotiation. I thought maybe it's just a stage but now I'm thinking it's her personality. My 2 year old is totally different. She responds to requests with a sweet "okay!" The same requests that would make my older DD throw a tantrum at that age. I'm not talking major stuff here. Just stuff like "here's a tissue please wipe your nose."

DH and I are tired of negotiating, coercing, bribing and forcing my older DD to listen to us when we ask her to do simple things.

Ok, so her personality doesn't react well to direct orders. I don't like them either to be honest so I can see where she gets it from. How can I phrase requests so that she wants to listen? So that she sees the value in listening?

She's really a good obedient child aside from this. Very polite, says please and thank you. She's very loving and kind with her younger sister. I'm sure there's a simple answer for how DH and I should talk to her so I need advice. Does anyone know or can you recommend a parenting book that addresses this issue?[/quote]

*sigh*
I could have written the original post. Minus the 75% of the time you talk nicely. I'm so opposite character/nature of my dd who's like this I am completely burnt out. This my way or the highway and sometimes irrational stuff is not something I can handle well. I am seriously taking this to heart..
I'm embarrassed to admit this and I hope I'm not going to be ripped off for this but I lose my cool too often. Too fast. And that's because additional to her strong nature comes the blackmailing part.
If mommy can tell me that I can't have the next toy before I help pack away the other that are spilled, I won't go to bed unless you sing 2 songs and 3 stories. Or if you don't "want to" do this or that NOW is because you don't love me. (Just silly examples..)
Or the tantrums when I don't give in to demands.. I can't handle them anymore. I lost all patience I ever had.I'm at loss with myself. It hurts so much to hear a child tell you she doesn't feel loved. It's a tactic she uses to get me to give in to something. (At a quiet time she once told me she doesn't really mean it but when she has a angry yetzer hora this is what he tells her to say..)
It's as if whatever I do or did do in the past didn't sync with her. She puts me on a guilt trip over everything and anything every.single.day.
It breaks my heart.

And I'm not clueless. I took a parenting class. Just doing another workshop special for head string kids and halfway through another parenting course. (Big money!)
I've read way too many parenting books. You name it, I've read it. I have the knowledge under my belt. But I'm not doing much about it. Not because I don't want. I don't know how , I'm broken before I get up. The problem? The 5 year old. (Actually it's me dealing with her...) All of 5 years old and she's in complete control over my feelings. I've just had too many hard moments to even give myself a 1% chance to try ONCE more. I've changed in many ways. Especially the way I talk to her and to the other kids. I tried my best to be patient. To make deals. Negotiate. Work around power struggles. To pre plan choices and options. If I'd just give it more time, be consistent and keep on trying I'd get somewhere?????

Yes she needs authority and yes she gets age appropriate 'jobs' that make her feel good (superior) but ya know. I think it's more than I can do. I want to wake each morning and promise myself I'll try again what seemed to make a difference. I want to renew my chances of having a happier child and mother and father and siblings and overall household. Why can't she just always be the sweet cute self? The caring mature 5 year old? The innocent questions the eagerness to please? Where is it? Why is it there only when she wants and by default she'll find complaints and faults and threats and what nots.. Why do I have to be the one to treat her softly when the world out there is harsh beyond words? Why do I have to feel as if I'm walking in eggshells around her when the thing I need to prepare her most for is that life isn't always fair? And that the other people in her life don't always be around her to protect her??

Some of Dina Friedman's methods really did work. I say did because I stopped using them . I tried implementing but ya know what? It's hard work. I think too hard. Im just not cut out for this. What's wrong with me?? Was I just wired without the mommy wires? Or am I just doing everything wrong and nothing right?
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 3:10 am
I posted in the other thread that I found the 'success stories' of others really encouraging.
My dd is the same and honestly I struggle a lot with dealing with her.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to say Im also struggling with this almost on a daily basis. I know people will say that parenting is hard and I know it is... But I'm almost reluctant to start listening to new suggestions because it inevitably just means more work and more stress for me. So I know how you feel.
I'm seeing a therapist for other things but the stress she causes me comes up a lot. I know I need to work on myself more and it's hard.
What I also find hard is focusing on the good when she is in one of her super helpful and responsible modes, I find it hard to just be in the moment and enjoy the good with her because I'm nervous and stressed that she'll suddendly snap into her defiant mode with major tantrums and meltdowns.

I have spoken to professionals about her and I'm trying .

(BH at school and with other people her behaviour is great)
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 8:56 am
My DD is like that a LOT.
It used to be worse.
First, I realized that it's tied up to her physical state. Whenever she is tired, thirsty, hungry, in pain, she is not cooperating.

Second, she really needs a lot of love. She likes to be special. She is and is probably going to be my only girl (expecting another boy now). If she hasn't had special treatment or one-on-one time, she stops cooperating at some point.
I see that when we are in a girly "best friends" mode, that is, I give her a lot of choices as for her hair and clothes, we hug and kiss and laugh, then anything goes. A psychologist told me to give 10 minutes of undivided attention to her, but sometimes she needs tons more. Sometimes it feels like she is unsatiable for love. I let her have her nails painted, sometimes I put my lipstick or eye shadow on her. This is our special girly thing.
In this setting I see her personality unfold, she becomes an active, happy person, not a whiny manipulative nag.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 9:38 am
I'm the OP of that other thread. Remember, 75% of the time means I still lose my cool a couple of times per day! But I'm really trying to rethink my phrasing. If I said something three times and she still hasn't done it, that means I'm saying it wrong.

Lately I've started saying "good mommy already asked three times and you're not listening, so bad mommy who yells is going to come" which is ridiculous because it sounds like I have multiple personality disorder but I want her to grasp the progression that I don't just get mad and yell in a vacuum, I get mad when I'm frustrated after saying something three times.

She is soo good with the back talk. Though I don't think of it as chutzpah, she's simply reflecting my behavior back at me. That's what kids do. Lately she started saying "why didn't you give me the banana? I just told you three times that I want a banana because they look delicious." Ha! I swear she didn't say any of that out loud even once. It however allows me to peer into her psyche, possibly she is distracted and daydreaming and she literally doesn't hear me when I ask her to do things. In one ear and out the other unless it's phrased in a way so she wants to listen. So even though I asked three times, she didn't hear me.

It's very important to remember not to take things personally. Every child will at some point try to manipulate you by saying you don't love them, you're mean, other mommies are nicer, they wish they lived in a different house etc. don't take it personally. They are not trying to hurt you, they're just expressing their feelings which is healthy and good. Sometimes I say, "it hurts my feelings when you say I'm a mean mommy" and she apologizes that she doesn't really mean it. But the truth is it doesn't hurt my feelings because I already know she doesn't mean it. The only reason I say it is to teach her to speak nicely to others.
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 9:55 am
Op here
Thank you all for taking time to reply!
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:06 am
amother wrote:
I posted in the other thread that I found the 'success stories' of others really encouraging.
My dd is the same and honestly I struggle a lot with dealing with her.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to say Im also struggling with this almost on a daily basis. I know people will say that parenting is hard and I know it is... But I'm almost reluctant to start listening to new suggestions because it inevitably just means more work and more stress for me. So I know how you feel.
I'm seeing a therapist for other things but the stress she causes me comes up a lot. I know I need to work on myself more and it's hard.
What I also find hard is focusing on the good when she is in one of her super helpful and responsible modes, I find it hard to just be in the moment and enjoy the good with her because I'm nervous and stressed that she'll suddendly snap into her defiant mode with major tantrums and meltdowns.

I have spoken to professionals about her and I'm trying .

(BH at school and with other people her behaviour is great)


Op here. I can totally relate to your stress.. *hugs*

yeah, isn't it sweet how cute and cooperative they are at school??? Amazing. Makes me so angry lol
But a professional (yeah I took for an evaluation cuz dh insisted that she might not be 'normal'.. She's our first, so..) Told me that because she's displaying these behaviors only at home she is mentally healthy. Her strong will, determination and power will take her far in life.
Nice to hear but doesn't help me NOW. Thank you very much psychologist..
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:14 am
amother wrote:
My DD is like that a LOT.
It used to be worse.
First, I realized that it's tied up to her physical state. Whenever she is tired, thirsty, hungry, in pain, she is not cooperating.

Second, she really needs a lot of love. She likes to be special. She is and is probably going to be my only girl (expecting another boy now). If she hasn't had special treatment or one-on-one time, she stops cooperating at some point.
I see that when we are in a girly "best friends" mode, that is, I give her a lot of choices as for her hair and clothes, we hug and kiss and laugh, then anything goes. A psychologist told me to give 10 minutes of undivided attention to her, but sometimes she needs tons more. Sometimes it feels like she is unsatiable for love. I let her have her nails painted, sometimes I put my lipstick or eye shadow on her. This is our special girly thing.
In this setting I see her personality unfold, she becomes an active, happy person, not a whiny manipulative nag.


Lots of love. An over abundance. And she needs it more so she acts out to get it. But you know what the problem here is? That there are other kids too. She can get all her private time, special time etc etc but if she sees the other kids get huggy kissy time she will start her focus song 'it's not fair. You're holding him/her longer, why do you even have to give other kids good things, for me you do it for plain them you like better bla bla bla..

I'm very on top of feeding time in general. That used to be a big issue. BH one area improved..
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:25 am
amother wrote:
I'm the OP of that other thread. Remember, 75% of the time means I still lose my cool a couple of times per day! But I'm really trying to rethink my phrasing. If I said something three times and she still hasn't done it, that means I'm saying it wrong.

Lately I've started saying "good mommy already asked three times and you're not listening, so bad mommy who yells is going to come" which is ridiculous because it sounds like I have multiple personality disorder but I want her to grasp the progression that I don't just get mad and yell in a vacuum, I get mad when I'm frustrated after saying something three times.

She is soo good with the back talk. Though I don't think of it as chutzpah, she's simply reflecting my behavior back at me. That's what kids do. Lately she started saying "why didn't you give me the banana? I just told you three times that I want a banana because they look delicious." Ha! I swear she didn't say any of that out loud even once. It however allows me to peer into her psyche, possibly she is distracted and daydreaming and she literally doesn't hear me when I ask her to do things. In one ear and out the other unless it's phrased in a way so she wants to listen. So even though I asked three times, she didn't hear me.

It's very important to remember not to take things personally. Every child will at some point try to manipulate you by saying you don't love them, you're mean, other mommies are nicer, they wish they lived in a different house etc. don't take it personally. They are not trying to hurt you, they're just expressing their feelings which is healthy and good. Sometimes I say, "it hurts my feelings when you say I'm a mean mommy" and she apologizes that she doesn't really mean it. But the truth is it doesn't hurt my feelings because I already know she doesn't mean it. The only reason I say it is to teach her to speak nicely to others.


Thank you for this beautiful post.
I think *my* issue now is that I ran out of steam. Even if you lose it a couple times a day, how do you just go on? The first bump we have at the start of the day turns me into a sour old thing. My mood leaves immediately. She takes up every ounce of space in my head. I can't think straight. I have a hard time getting my act together. I feel like a horrible mom to my children.
Each time I do tell myself I'll try again soon I get so frustrated by the thought that this is a years long process. Know what I mean?

Now is one of this rare moments where she is sitting quietly and drawing. It's this time that I hold my breath and wait to see what's coming next. And it pains me to see someone who is part of have to struggle. Yesterday I told dh that I'm a failure. That's it. Maybe if I'll tell myself that I'm just not good at it I'll develope a more easy going approach? Who knows..
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:39 am
My personality is probably different than yours which is why it's maybe easier for me not to take things personally.

It's good to live life moment by moment. Happiness and contentment are found in moments. They are not a place you get to, they exist all the time in infinite moments. When she sits quietly and draws, instead of thinking anxiously about the next meltdown or the previous one, focus on how content you feel. Maybe even have a positive interaction like "wow I love the colors you chose" if you're worried you don't have enough positive interactions with her. Give her a random hug or kiss when she's not acting whiny. It helps you both. I know it helps me.

When you're frustrated after a meltdown, take a mental step back. Your adrenaline is firing and you need to take a deep breath. Take a mommy time out. Make yourself a coffee and drink it slowly, go out on the porch alone for a moment, go to your room, wherever you can find a quiet space to decompress for a minute. Center yourself, take deep breaths, remember you're a good person and you're doing the best you can and your kids love you.

Love yourself. Don't describe yourself in a negative way. You are who you are. We can all become better versions of ourselves but rarely are we bad people. We're just all different, complex people and there can be a million different paths to the same conclusion (in this case raising kids without losing your cool.)
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:45 am
Since I had plenty to say on the other thread, I'll try to add some thoughts here.

First of all, every kid is different, and "headstrong" or "strong personality" covers a huge range of strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. I'm saying this because I want to make it clear that I don't have all the answers; in fact, I don't have *any* of the answers. We can only experiment to see what works with our kids -- and what doesn't!

Here's my first suggestion:

Stop loving your kid so much.

I can hear the keyboards clattering now! "OMG, Fox! How can you say such a thing! Kids need love" and "Kids who aren't adequately loved are at risk for X, Y, and Z."

So let me clarify:

Of course, we love our kids. And, of course, we try to make sure they feel safe, secure, and loved.

But it's a very fine balancing act to love our kids while *also* remembering that parenthood is a job -- not a mutual relationship.

The Torah makes this clear, actually. Our children are commanded to "honor" us -- not love us or help ensure that our parenting experience is all we hoped and dreamed.

Remember what I said about "How do you get your mother's goat? You find out where it's tied"? There are a lot of parental goats tied to the pole of wanting the child's love, affection, and a mutual relationship.

And even the least manipulative child can hone in on where those goats are tied!

So what are my practical, day-to-day suggestions for relocating your goat?

1. Be cooler than your kid. This means that you have an obvious life outside your kids. If you work outside the home, mention funny or interesting things that happened at work. Be sure that your kids see you having adult conversations with your friends. Read books, listen to tapes, and cultivate hobbies that they are not a part of. Allowing someone to feel that he/she is the center of your universe is always a bad idea. It doesn't make them feel loved; it just makes you seem needy.

2. Be willing to put up with drama and act somewhat amused by it. Drama only works when there is a willing audience who cares about what's happening on stage. After you've ascertained that there's no real danger, find something else to do. Don't try to coax the budding actor into a good mood. I had a whole repertoire of remarks I used to make, including, "Oh, you're definitely ready to open at Steppenwolf," and "Maybe we should get you an agent!" My munchkin had no clue what Steppenwolf or an agent was, thus adding to my coolness.

3. Don't worry about what people with docile kids think of you. I got invaluable advice from my DD's second grade teacher, Mrs. Gibber, whom Chicagoans probably know. She said my DD already had a "teenage 'tude." I asked her what to do, and she said, "Do your best to ignore it and let her grow up." So while you're untying your goat from the love-and-approval pole, be sure you don't leave it out for your neighbors.

4. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't tell your child that she's hurt your feelings; tell her that her remark was "inappropriate" or "too personal." Don't give her that power! Yes, I know that kids can say things that really *do* hurt. But she had to get those drama genes from somewhere, so put on those big-girl panties and pretend that it's ridiculous that a five-year-old could possibly hurt your feelings.

5. Let the chips fall where they may. A lot of parenting authorities are big on "consequences." But to a child with a strong personality, "consequences" only work when there's a clear and obvious connection. In other words, "You can't have ice cream if you don't clean up your toys" is a joke to these kids. What does a clean room have to do with ice cream? But such a scenario might work if the extra time it takes *you* to clean up means that there's no time to go out for ice cream. If you think this distinction is too subtle, remember that this kid has already figured out your entire emotional grid and is using it against you.

I hope some of this -- or anything, actually -- is helpful. Like I said, what works with one child may not work with another.

The non-arenting parenting book I'm recommending right now is "Child, Please: How Mama's Old-School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself" by Ylonda Gault Caviness.

Hatzlacha!
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:49 am
There is a blog I read whenever I need advice about life, zenhabits.com. He has a post about peaceful parenting as well http://zenhabits.net/the-way/

He has very sage, helpful advice. It's like a free life coach.
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Sadie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:56 am
Fox wrote:

2. Be willing to put up with drama and act somewhat amused by it. Drama only works when there is a willing audience who cares about what's happening on stage. After you've ascertained that there's no real danger, find something else to do. Don't try to coax the budding actor into a good mood. I had a whole repertoire of remarks I used to make, including, "Oh, you're definitely ready to open at Steppenwolf," and "Maybe we should get you an agent!" My munchkin had no clue what Steppenwolf or an agent was, thus adding to my coolness.



Ha, this reminds me of how my parents would respond to my dramatics: "Oh look, Sarah Bernhardt has arrived!"
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 11:05 am
amother wrote:
My personality is probably different than yours which is why it's maybe easier for me not to take things personally.

It's good to live life moment by moment. Happiness and contentment are found in moments. They are not a place you get to, they exist all the time in infinite moments. When she sits quietly and draws, instead of thinking anxiously about the next meltdown or the previous one, focus on how content you feel. Maybe even have a positive interaction like "wow I love the colors you chose" if you're worried you don't have enough positive interactions with her. Give her a random hug or kiss when she's not acting whiny. It helps you both. I know it helps me.

When you're frustrated after a meltdown, take a mental step back. Your adrenaline is firing and you need to take a deep breath. Take a mommy time out. Make yourself a coffee and drink it slowly, go out on the porch alone for a moment, go to your room, wherever you can find a quiet space to decompress for a minute. Center yourself, take deep breaths, remember you're a good person and you're doing the best you can and your kids love you.

Love yourself. Don't describe yourself in a negative way. You are who you are. We can all become better versions of ourselves but rarely are we bad people. We're just all different, complex people and there can be a million different paths to the same conclusion (in this case raising kids without losing your cool.)


I may not be THE coolest person around but I was never this uptight as I've grown to become Sad

Thank you for your kind words and advice!!!
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 11:07 am
amother wrote:
There is a blog I read whenever I need advice about life, zenhabits.com. He has a post about peaceful parenting as well http://zenhabits.net/the-way/

He has very sage, helpful advice. It's like a free life coach.

Thanks for the link. I'll take a look at it later.
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 11:25 am
Wow. Thank you fox for a great post. Most of it so spot on. You lifted my spirits!
*May I share your post with my dh??*

So true about the consequences.. It's exactly how you said it...

The time I told her that she hurt me was by dh request. He thinks she has to be told what she does wrong. If she doesn't "know" that she broke my heart, she won't know not to do it again. (Really?? Ha) I think that's not a good reasoning at all but given his background I understand where he is coming from. Dh grew up in a court house style old fashioned home. He is the youngest, never was around little kids and there were RULES in that house. And everything and everyone went by law and order. Refusal to cooperate and even mistakes were treated with serious punishments (punishment not consequence) and plenty of extra potching. Anything he was required to do was to put up a good name for the family so his parents could get the compliments 'wow such well behaved children'.
He spent 2 years in therapy to get over his fear of having his own children and to get over some abuse that went on in that house as well. Which makes me wonder why when in a tough situation, he sub consciously goes back to the way he was treated. He went through that already..

I think I'm making dh look bad but he's not. It's just that this parenting thing is such a delicate issue here and instead of being in it together and helping each others we are constantly doubting each others capabilitie . I can try to follow one approach and he will start second guessing so I'll start something else. Are you people getting a better picture?
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 1:01 pm
amother wrote:
The time I told her that she hurt me was by dh request. He thinks she has to be told what she does wrong. If she doesn't "know" that she broke my heart, she won't know not to do it again. (Really?? Ha) I think that's not a good reasoning at all but given his background I understand where he is coming from. Dh grew up in a court house style old fashioned home. He is the youngest, never was around little kids and there were RULES in that house. And everything and everyone went by law and order. Refusal to cooperate and even mistakes were treated with serious punishments (punishment not consequence) and plenty of extra potching. Anything he was required to do was to put up a good name for the family so his parents could get the compliments 'wow such well behaved children'.
He spent 2 years in therapy to get over his fear of having his own children and to get over some abuse that went on in that house as well. Which makes me wonder why when in a tough situation, he sub consciously goes back to the way he was treated. He went through that already..

I think I'm making dh look bad but he's not. It's just that this parenting thing is such a delicate issue here and instead of being in it together and helping each others we are constantly doubting each others capabilitie . I can try to follow one approach and he will start second guessing so I'll start something else. Are you people getting a better picture?


Oh, boy -- are you me? I feel like I'm having an identity crisis!

This has been *the* biggest shalom bayis challenge for me and DH. Like your DH, he grew up with a zillion rules and, I might add, a SAHM to enforce them. Also like your DH, my MIL had some pretty significant mental health issues and was often borderline (and sometimes not-so-borderline!) abusive.

The result of my DH's attempts to apply rules-and-regulations-style discipline to DD has been an extremely poor relationship between the two of them. In fact, DD tends to avoid her father whenever possible. It's really very sad, since they actually have a lot in common and both could really gain from one another.

The fact that your DH went for therapy is actually a very good sign; it means he's willing to examine ways to improve things.

Start by experimenting with various techniques and see what works. When I did this, my DH would get upset and say, "But you shouldn't have to accommodate her. She should accommodate you!" I would always say, "Do you want to be right or do you want to do what works?"

I think there's a very dangerous mentality on the part of many parenting coaches and educators in the Torah world, and it gets passed on to many parents. They think that responding to a child's individual strengths and weaknesses is the equivalent of hippy-dippy anything-goes wackadoodle parenting.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Rearing healthy, productive, yiras Shemayim kids is less about discipline and more about expectations and standards. There is nothing contradictory about having high expectations and standards for your kids *and* focusing on their strengths to help them meet those expectations.

I'm in the middle of a fascinating book right now: "The Spark," by Kristine Barnet. Her son was diagnosed with autism, and she pulled him out of special education because she felt they focused exclusively on what he *couldn't* do. He is a now a mathematical prodigy, attending college at the age of 12.

While I'm not familiar with the various therapies and practices for treating autistic kids, the book has an incredible message for all parents: think of how to capitalize on kids' strengths rather than wring your hands over their limitations.

To end this ridiculously long post, I'll tell a somewhat embarrassing story:

I attended a competitive college that was particularly known for its terrible football team. The college regularly produced alumni/ae who rose to the highest ranks of various fields and professions, but even the football players themselves preferred graduate school to an NFL career.

Some of the more, shall we say, football-oriented opponents would become even more brutal, if that's possible, taking every opportunity to plough our guys into the field.

When particularly egregious plays were executed, the players would signal the cheerleaders, who would start the follwing chant: "That's all right; that's okay. You're going to work for us someday!"

I know, I know. Not nice at all.

But I frequently thought of that cheer while raising my headstrong DD. The same headstrong quality that made teachers crazy (and her parents, too, sometimes) is the quality that's made her financially successful and an incredible chesed organizer at a time when many of her peers are frittering away their time while they wait to get married.

And along with the Vanguard statements that arrive in the mail with her name come plenty of requests for contributions, including some from the schools that insisted she be more docile.

"That's all right; that's okay!
You'll be asking for my headstrong DD's help someday!"
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momaleh




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 2:02 pm
FOx, that last story was precious!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 7:51 pm
Fox, I want to thank you SO much for sharing your wisdom.

I'm following these threads because I am dealing with an especially difficult 12yo right now, and basically tweens are just toddlers in hormonal bodies. Confused

The drama, the tantrums, the CHUTZPAH! Oy vey. (brb, moving my goats Wink )
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2015, 10:16 pm
Oh, 11-12 year-olds (eespecially girls) are the absolute worst. I think parents should be given generous government stipends for not beating them daily.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 26 2015, 1:10 am
Fox wrote:
Oh, 11-12 year-olds (eespecially girls) are the absolute worst. I think parents should be given generous government stipends for not beating them daily.


I have a sign over my desk that says

"I often worry about the safety of my children.
Especially the one who is rolling her eyes at me right now."


Rolling Eyes Shooting Arrow
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0 Fri, Nov 24 2023, 6:58 am View last post
Someone just told me she charges $800 for a wig cut
by amother
19 Wed, Aug 02 2023, 1:09 am View last post
Funniest thing someone told you recently?
by amother
9 Wed, Jul 26 2023, 12:16 am View last post