Does this sound fishy?

5mom

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 9:26 pm

Miri7 wrote:

Can you explain to DH that you and he are now a financial unit and depend on each other, so you need to make major financial decisions together? That you each depend on the others good credit?

Once credit is wrecked it can cause years of hardship.

Tell him that obviously his friend must not realize that your DH and you are bearing all the risk in this arrangement. Clearly his friend would never suggest a scheme that put DH at risk. To to that appointment with the financial adviser and find out what the risk is. Then DH should see that this is a risky business. Ask what happens if the fraud is found out, or DH's credit lines are not paid off. The advisor should be able to lay out pretty clearly that it would be disastrous for you.

Then your DH can explain to his friend that the risk is just more than you all are comfortable with. A good friend won't push another into an uncomfortable and risky situation. If he tries to, tell your DH that it makes you very uncomfortable and concerned that this guy is pushing you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

If this guy has your DH's social, you need to pay off and close out all the credit cards, freeze the old social security number and get a new one. And don't give it to anyone.

Good luck. This just sounds like an awful situation. Your DH needs to figure out that you and he come before "favors" to other people. Sounds like this friend is manipulating him pretty well....

Agreed, but know that it's nearly impossible to get a new social security number.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Jun 30 2015, 9:33 pm

5mom wrote:

Agreed, but know that it's nearly impossible to get a new social security number.

Unless you can prove that your SSN was sold to a list, don't even bother trying to get it changed due to one (or even multiple) instances of identity theft and credit card fraud. Not happening. Trust me, I've BTDT.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 1:17 am

Thank you everybody for the responses.
As I posted yesterday, Dh went to speak to his Rav. I thanked Dh for doing it right away.
I am a bit afraid that DH heard what he wanted to hear.
He came home saying that the rav told him that doing such a thing is a very bad idea. DH's opinion is that once it was done already the harm was already done and we might as well go along with the plan.
I would like him to take serious steps to protect us.
I emailed my own rav and told him the whole situation. I will keep you all posted.
personally I have a strong personallity But I leave everything up to DH. I guess there I times where I must use my chachmas nashim and use the personallity I was blessed with.
after all "isha makeres baorchim" ( a woman recognizes the guests [if they are good or bad people])

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 1:57 am

my DH is saying in the name of this friend that the credit cards need to be open and active for at least a half a year before canceling so they don't effect our credit.
thats why he won't cancel them right away

what is a credit report?

and yes, at this point dear ladies, suggestions on how to close this safely will be greatly suggested.
I want to have concrete things I can request of DH to do.

5mom

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 2:18 am

amother wrote:

A credit report is a rating. Are you a good credit risk? It's vital to have a good rating if you want to get a mortgage or any other loan in the next seven years. Generally, the more credit cards you have, the lower your score will be. Not to mention what can happen if balances are not paid on time. (I'm guessing that you won't see the bills so you won't know.)
There are a lot of personal finance sites out there. Maybe you two should look into this together.
Again, DO NOT let this friend open accounts in your name .

youngishbear

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 4:58 am

amother wrote:

There are lots of things you can do.

He can return your cards and you can shred them. Afterwards you can call the companies to change the account number. It would be great if you can make sure the billing address is your own address so the bills get to you. You don't need to close the accounts, just stop using them.

You can get a free credit report once a year from each of the three credit companies. The smart thing to do is request the reports spaced out over they year.

If money isn't a problem for you, there are credit monitoring services that alert you if there are any changes in your credit reports. Some cc companies privide a service where they alert you whenever the card is used.

Maybe other posters can provide you with specific links or information. But don't just shrug it off as a lost cause. Take steps to protect yourself.

5mom

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 5:22 am

Do I understand that this person has already gone ahead with his plan?

What you need to do is create a credit freeze so that no new cards can be taken out in your name. Here's a link that explains what to do.

http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/ar.....-faqs (Check out this site in general, it's a very good basic introduction to money matters, by the Federal Trade Commission, not some for-profit company.)

A credit freeze won't stop someone from using your current cards. You will need to cancel these yourself. Check with the credit agencies how many cards you have, and close all the accounts that are not yours. Find out exactly what you owe and pay it back asap.

And then, please stay away from get-rich-quick schemes and schemers.

WriterMom

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 7:56 am

Agreed on the credit freeze. As to existing cards, if the name on them is your husband's, he might need to phone and cancel, and you won't be able to do it in his place. (I haven't tried to cancel cards in my DH's name, but tried to change the mailing address when we moved and was told I couldn't even do that for him without a PoA.)

I am not sure it is true that your credit rating will suffer if you close the cards right now, rather than waiting. It IS true that your credit rating can be harmed by having too many credit cards/too much available credit, and their existence is a vulnerability. I would still lean toward cancelling them right now, on the basis that even if it looks slightly bad on your credit rating, it's better than unpaid bills, and it's worth it to cancel this transaction completely and quickly.

If your husband is the party named on the card, he should be able to call the company and cancel it effective immediately. However if his 'friend' set up the cards to be mailed to his house (friend, not DH) and they ask for confirming info such as mailing address and DH doesn't know, it could be a problem. Does DH know all those details about the cards? (Name, number, code on the back, issuing bank, billing address)?

Good luck, and I'm glad your DH is at least sort of coming around.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 12:39 pm

You can get a free credit report from each of the 3 credit bureaus once a year
https://www.annualcreditreport.....=free annual credit report]Web Page Name[/url]

I stagger my reports and check one every 4 months.

Read up on Dansdeals forums for great general info http://forums.dansdeals.com/in.....d=7.0
There are many sites to get educated.

Another bit of info:
Airlines and points companies are known to shut down accounts when they suspect fraud,or violations of their rules, if you ever want to open your own accounts, you may find yourself banned.[url=Dansdeals forum]Web Page Name[/url]

zaq

Wed, Jul 01 2015, 3:09 pm

FTR, a credit report is not the same as a credit rating. A credit report, which you can get free, reports activity on your accounts, such as credit inquiries and records of payment. This is information that a lender will use to decide whether or not you are a good risk, but you have no way of knowing whether the lender will consider any piece of info good or bad. For example, if you have seventeen credit cards, all of which you pay in full and on time, plus $5000 overdraft protection on your checking, you may think this is a very good thing. But a lender may see seventeen credit cards, each with a credit limit of $3000, plus $5000 overdraft protection, as a total potential debt of $56,000, even though you never charged more than fifty cents and never used the overdraft protection. This may make the lender hesitant to lend you another $50,000 since you have a very large potential debt already and you have not shown yourself capable of paying back more than fifty cents at a time.

Your credit rating is something you have to pay for, though you can get it free if you are denied certain forms of credit. It is a number based on a formula that takes into consideration all your reported financial activity. It's a measure of your overall credit-worthiness.

someoneelse

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 5:38 am

[quote="self-actualization"]
In this case however, OP wants to instruct her husband how to behave. That's the problem. My advice would be to say something like this (and this what I do in real life):

"You are an adult and you can make your own decisions. I personally feel scared about this scheme and if it were me I would never do it. In addition I feel like the possible upside is so small and the possible downside is huge [shades of my heroine, the wife of On ben Peles]. However, because you are adult you can make your own decision."

[quote]

I like this post.

Orchid

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:35 am

[quote="someoneelse"][quote="self-actualization"]
In this case however, OP wants to instruct her husband how to behave. That's the problem. My advice would be to say something like this (and this what I do in real life):

"You are an adult and you can make your own decisions. I personally feel scared about this scheme and if it were me I would never do it. In addition I feel like the possible upside is so small and the possible downside is huge [shades of my heroine, the wife of On ben Peles]. However, because you are adult you can make your own decision."

Quote:

I like this post.

Totally disagree. This is their joint money and he has no right to take major risks on her -and their family's- backs.

Sewsew_mom

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:27 am

I have so much to say being I've been in the mileage business around 7 years. But the most important thing I will say is that never give ur social to anyone to sign up credit cards for you. You may end up with cash but not enough for you to take the risk. If you want to learn and do it yourself and make your own miles and or cash go for it. But stay away and your husband is naive to think that everyone is so honest and trustworthy. It's called money talks. Good luck trying to sort it all out.. Remember risk vs reward. Risk outweighs reward in this case 1000 times over.

SRD

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:41 am

Taking into account the advice above, here is what you need to do to protect yourself:

1. Cancel the credit cards. It will affect your credit - but it is better to cancel them now than to wait six months and have huge bills on them that can't be paid. Keep in mind the "friend" may have written down the card numbers so simply cutting them isn't an option. Make sure to monitor the accounts and keep in touch with the credit card companies to make sure all balances are paid on time.

2. Order a free credit report from annualcreditreport.com - for both of you. It will list all financial items under your ssn's, any credit cards, loans, etc. When you receive the report - look through it and make sure there are no errors (for example, credit cards or loans you don't know about). You can get one free report from each of the three monitoring companies per year. Make sure to check again in 3 months, and then in 6 months.

3. Sign up for credit monitoring. There are paid services (usually $15/month) that allow you monitor any financial activity under your name. This way, if a new card or loan is taken out under your name you'll be alerted. It typically comes with identity theft protection. AllClearID.com is one such program. If you happen to have been effected by any of the recent personal information breaches with some major US organizations and companies (Anthem/Blue Cross/ OPM/Target) you will be eligible for free credit monitoring.

You might even want to talk to a lawyer in case you're liable for any of the "friend's" activities. I would certainly not take any payments from him in case what he's doing is illegal, and your husband is therefore a co-conspirator.

Good luck - and thank you for posting this - it is a good warning to us all.

Sewsew_mom

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:56 am

Btw u can easily get new card numbers that the guy won't have access to. Call up amex, chase and us bank and there are more but those are the main ones and give them ur social and tell them there was fraud and u want new cards sent to your address. The cards the guy has will than be inactive. But if he has ur social he can possibly do this as well cept it's unlikely cus one he smells fishy he'll stay away..

SRS

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 5:23 pm

Who cares about your credit score? A person has your information and will have it forever. You need to cancel everything (order a credit report and start cancellations). You need to put a fraud alert on your account. You probably should get some legal advice. You need to make it clear to this "friend" that the deal ends now.

You can worry about your credit score someday.