Business going bust

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 2:38 pm

I invested a lot of time and money into a business and it is basically over. I just don't have the finances, the energy or the means to continue. I lost a lot of money and now have lots of debt to pay. I can handle all of that, I just feel like such a failure. I know my husband is so dissapointed in me. I know he thinks that I'm so incapable and that I can't work. He complains that my master went to waste, and now this. Maybe he's right, I'm just not cut out to work. I'm being so incoherent right now. I'm just laying here crying.

seeker

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:28 pm

I'm so sorry. That is so devastating.

You probably aren't looking to hear this now, but this does not mean you're "not cut out to work" and your "master's went to waste" There is a world of difference between working as an employee and owning/running a business. Very different skill sets. Business is a risky thing and failure is more common than success. It's way too harsh to say that you're hopeless because your business didn't take off.

I am not at all trying to minimize your pain and loss, and I hope you don't take it that way.

sneakermom

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:43 pm

Everything is a learning experience. It's not about failing. It's about that you really tried and the success part of it is out of your control.

You will grow from this experience. It will enrich you somewhere down the line. Keep in mind that WE ALL FAIL many many times. Probably more often then we succeed.

The point is to take time to lick your wounds. Cry. It is so painful. But don't fall for the yetzer hara's trick to make it that there is something wrong with you. Chas v'sholom. As a matter a fact most new businesses do fail. Especially at the first few attempts.

You can't control what happened. The loss. But you can control your thoughts and actions. From your post you sound sensitive and hard working. You can translate it I to a thought. " I am a very hard worker, I tried my best" also a soothing thought, "gam ze yavor- this too shall pass", "it will get better".

And also focus on what you CAN do. I can't control that I have debt but I can make a payment plan, I can sell some equipment and refocus my mind on wrapping up the business as best as I can.

Wishing you Bracha and hatzlacha!!

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:50 pm

seeker wrote:

I don't think I was clear. I used to do a job that I got my masters for. It basically didn't work out, even though I was quite good at what I did. Then I stopped working for a bit. Then I opened my business, which is basically going binder now.

sneakermom

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 3:54 pm

amother wrote:

That doesn't mean your a failure. It means you are still in the process of figuring out what kind of work is most suited for your strengths. We all have areas of weaknesses and choose to work in areas that emphasize our strengths.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 4:41 pm

sneakermom wrote:

My masters was in area of strength, and I was really quite good at what I did. My business required a lot of sales which I was also quite good at. Due to logistics somehow they just didn't work out. I really don't want to work anymore. I am good at lots of things, it's just not working out. I'm just so hurt by my husbands disappointment. He thinks if it didn't work out, I must've been lazy. It's not true. In truth I worked like a dog. Maybe not as hard as he would have, but I'm also running a household and raising my children. I am just not cut out to do everything.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 6:50 pm

I've been in the same position. I'm not cut out to deal with office politics, so I've had a few businesses of my own. Some went under because I misread the market, and some went under because the economy and real estate prices tanked.

One thing that gives me a lot of comfort, is that if you ask any wildly successful person (like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk) what their key to success is, they will tell you "First you must fail at 100 other things, before you find the one that works."

In other words, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Persistence, stubbornness, etc.

Now, if you don't WANT to have a business, that's another thing. You'll have to work out how that will impact your household finances, and you'll have to be honest with yourself. Do you not want a business because you fear failing again, or is it because you want to spend more time as a wife and mother? It's OK, all of your feelings are valid on this, no matter what they are. Just make sure that your choices are based on your true feelings, and grounded in practical reality.

Who knows, maybe you'll be happier taking a part time job somewhere, where the boss can have all the stress and headaches, and all you have to do is show up, do your work, and collect a dependable paycheck.

I don't have any answers for you, but BTDT, and you have my sympathies. Just don't let it knock your self esteem down too much. The only waste of time is if you don't learn a lesson from whatever you've experienced. Hug

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 7:37 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Thank you for your support and your questions. They help me clear my head. I really DONT want a business. I only opened because my husband was so excited about it and I rally wanted to please him. I could have cut my losses a year ago, and I would have lost a lot less, but I pushed on because I wanted to prove I wasn't a failure again. Too bad, I failed again. Financially, I will be in a better place. I did not make want cent, I just lost a whole lot of money and now have tons of c.c. To pay and much less savings. Now hopefully I can start saving for a house, which I would probably have right now, if not for my business. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. I didn't go for my masters because I wanted to work in particular. Rather, because I value education. I won't enjoy a part time job. I've done it and I hate it. Also, max I would be able to make is $30 an hour and I used to make $60 an hour. It just feels lousy for my self esteem to make so little.