Learning to drive at a later stage in life

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amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 8:53 pm

I'm 29 and never got my driver's license. I did learn how to drive 10 years ago, but moved to Israel after failing my test twice. Not having a license in Israel was not such a big deal since I got by on public transport and we couldn't afford a car anyway.

Now we have moved to the States, with 2 kids and one on the way. We are leasing a car - a minivan, and I'm living somewhere where driving is much more of a necessity. I'm really finding it difficult not being able to drive and take my kids out, and having to rely on my husband for everything.

So I'm definitely "driven" to learn how to drive. But, I'm scared! Because I would be driving this huge minivan, and taking my kids out in it pretty soon after I'm licensed. I'm afraid I'll mess up and hurt not only myself but them too.

I'm just looking for reassurance that this is something I can do... in most areas of my life I get by, and most people don't have trouble learning to drive... so please... reassure me!!!

cbsp

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:10 pm

amother wrote:

Hatzlachah! You totally can do it. A minivan might actually be easier because you're higher up so you see more of the road. I learned when I was older as well, although not with kids. But it's amazing how far motivation (and maturity) will take you.

FWIW, my SIL (re)learned to drive with 3 kids in the back seat during lessons. She is now most comfortable driving her 15 passenger van.

Make the most of the lessons. If your goal is highway driving (and merging) make sure you've adequately performed that while you're still taking the lessons. Also, if possible, take the road test with whatever vehicle you took lessons in.

Once again, Hatzlachah! It does become second nature once you're driving for a while.

allthingsblue

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:11 pm

My mother learned how to drive in her thirties. You can do it! Try to push any discouraging thoughts out of ur mind.

sourstix

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:12 pm

I am so happy to have someone in the same shoes as me. I am 30+ so its very hard. but here I am stuck on something a bit different. I cant seem to pass my written test. I am finding the book so hard. I am in new jersey. the book is by far harder then the new york one. I was so depressed last week bec of it. I got 38 and lost with 2 points!. anyone can give me chizuk or a place to learn the book in an easier fashion? did you take here in the states? did you pass right away?. new drivers have a higher chance of accidents. dont take your kids in the begining. first get experience alone. then with others this way they arent at risk. sorry, dont mean to say anything hurtful. its just my logic telling me. I most certainly will do that till I get confident. I think you could do it. no matter what age as long as you can see well. and you are in decent health.

amother

Mint

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:20 pm

You can do it. I got my license at 24, which is younger than you are now, but not significantly, and very significantly older than most people in the US. I flunked 3 times before finally passing on the fourth try. Driving alone is scary in the beginning. don't know where you're living but I learned to drive in Manhattan. The island in NY, not the town in Kansas where everyone starts to drive at twelve and gets a license at fifteen. Other than Mexico City or Jerusalem
, there is probably no worse place for a newbie driver. Scared is not the word for it. But I got used to it soon enough and so will you. A minivan is actually better than a smaller car because your cushion of safety is much bigger in case you do get into a fender-bender. As long as you don't have to parallel park, driving a minivan isn't any harder than driving a subcompact.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:34 pm

OP here. Thanks so much for all the chizzuk, everyone - I needed it!

amother

Ruby

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 9:59 pm

I got my license recently. I'm 27 with 2 kids and I passed the road test on my 7th try. I started driving my kids around about a month after getting my license.

sourstix

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 10:01 pm

poster above, I hope it wont take me so many tries. what can you tell me that I can avoid that happening to me. I tried twice

sourstix

Thu, Jul 02 2015, 10:02 pm

I see youare talking about the road test. thats diff then the written. again what can you tell me that was hard for you.

Raisin

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 6:14 am

I got a my first license when I was 21 but when I moved to a different country I needed to retake the test as it wasn't recognised. It is much harder to pass the road test where I live. I think it took me four or five tries. At that point I had not been driving for a few years. I can't remember how old I was, I think about 27.

Once I got my license it took me a bit of time to get really comfortable on the road. I started by doing short familiar routine trips - school, store etc. (no GPS then!) I progressed to doing longer trips and eventually I started highway driving.

I learnt to drive in my driving teachers car plus a bit of practice in our minivan. It wasn't that hard to adjust.

chayamiriam

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 6:24 am

I was about 45 when I learned to drive! I failed my road test 6 times. I was so nervous at the beginning when I drove to work a short distance I would worry about how I was going to drive home all day! Now I love driving, I drive all over highways np. The best thing I ever did was learn to drive! Just, could kick myself why it took so long to do it!

QUEENY

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:37 am

I learned how to drive in my 30's...failed the road test about 4 times..I think on the fifth the tester had rachmunis on me when he saw how old I was Smile

. ANyway...I learned how to drive in my minivan with three kids...I had no choice..I had to do car pool, drs. appts...now I don't know how I survived all these years not driving. I still don't drive outside of Brooklyn though.

PAMOM

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:40 am

Sourstix, the online practice tests will let you see right away what you missed and what the right answer is. The actual text questions come from the group of online tests. If you tell us the questions you're getting wrong , we may be able to give you tips for remembering.

CPenzias

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:44 am

I learned how to drive with a mini van.
Maybe go without kids for practice till you feel more comfortable

studying_torah

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:46 am

I'm also finding the driving book very hard to get thru and I flunked my nj permit test as well. Where can we find the online practice tests for nj?
Agreed , sourstix it's much harder than the ny ones!

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:49 am

I learned to drive at 30, with a minivan!!!

I passed by my first test!!!!

If any Jack and Jane can make it at 16 then you can definitely make it at 29!!!

PAMOM

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:49 am

Google @NJ drivers liscencing test practice" and it will come up. Sorry I don't have the link here and am texting on my phone.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 10:59 am

I wouldn't be concerned about which vehicle you learn to drive in. I learned in an old 15 passenger, and drove it for the first few years I drove. I was so comfortable in it, that switching to a car was a whole new experience. I almost had to relearn how to drive. (Help! I can't see over the other cars! Why am I so low?! Etc.)

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 11:07 am

I would also recommend making sure your car is good, solid, and a good fit for you... We have one junky car and one great solid car, and when I drive the rickety one it really does feel scarier (and probably is more dangerous). Harder sto stop at stop signs etc., the breaks are not as good. A few times when it was icy I couldn't stop at all, although eventually we needed realized new tires would help that (somewhat)...

In the rickety car I also have a harder time reaching the pedals (I'm short).

Try to get the car itself in your favor.

You definitely can do it!

egam

Fri, Jul 03 2015, 11:39 am

If 29 is a later stage in life, then what stage I'm in? 😕
My mom got her license at 55 in NJ from the second try. And she drove huge old Mercury Grand Marquis after that. Localy, not highways, but she did.
Not all testing locations in NJ are equal. Some are easier than others. My DS instructor took him to either Wayne or Ramsey, since they are much nicer there.

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