7 yr old ALWAYS complains everyone bothers him..advice pls

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 10:47 am

So my dear 7 yr old is child #2, and he's forever kvetching about his siblings bothering him...when I go in and ask exactly went on etc...I find out that it was little things, like this one moved the cereal, that one didn't let him sit on the couch etc...
I tried explaining to him, how we just ignore, and get up and move on, and not everyone will always make us happy in life, and we could tell mommy etc...but need to move on!!! Who cares/ IGNORE!!!
All that, but still NOTHING seems to work on him yet...
He has low self esteem, self image and trying to work on building him... when I say positive and compliment he's like noo not true etc...I know that he hears it and it went in, I guess he needs TONNNS of positive.
Hard- cuz giving it amongst the other kids, they'll be like hey what about me etc...and then it turns into a whole...
Anyways I guess I'm asking how to help the situation with his constant kvetching nagging of this one bothered me that one bothered me etc...( This is only at home, he doesn't come home from school with this kvetching)
Any tips, help, advice would be much appreciated!!!! TIA

alittlebirdie

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 11:01 am

I have a kid like that. Needs extra tlc. And constant reassurance. I give her extra jobs and privileges as a reward for doing them. Keeps her too busy to get into fights w her siblings also helps her self esteem she feels like she is earning the privileges and she feels good abt it

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 11:08 am

Thanks alittlebirdie, yeah lately I've done that too, he loves helping out and getting all that praise!!! He's on a high then!!! Totally, but still, he still gets into that EVERYONE is bothering me mode and kvetchiness which makes the whole family atmosphere like...

yo'ma

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 11:29 am

My 7ds is the same and we deal with it in different ways, but I thought to say just for a laugh; He doesn't call it bothering, but molesting. In spanish, molest is bother. It's not funny anymore, but the first time, it was shock

yo'ma

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 11:57 am

amother wrote:

Yo'ma, if I could ask you, how do u deal with it?
Thx

I'd rather not say on a public board for various reasons. If you want I could talk to you more if you pm me, but I won't necessarily be very helpful, but we can vent to each other Smile

mommyla

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 3:47 pm

My DS is very similar. I've found that besides for lots of positive attention, he needs empathy more than problem-solving. So if he's complaining that someone breathed too close to him, instead of saying what's on the tip of my tongue ("honestly, stop being ridiculous and just move away"), I try reeeeally hard to say "Oh, that sounds like it's bothering you, that sounds hard, you can't concentrate on your homework because the baby is playing there" and then ask him for ideas of how to fix the problem.

It is really really hard to do, but when I do it it works!