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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
Copper
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Sun, Jul 12 2015, 8:33 am
Pre-teen DS is constantly answering back and mixing in to the conversations of DH and I.
The thing is he doesn't seem to realise that he's being disrespectful! I think he feels 'old enough' to be part of the adult conversations and whenever I point out that his behavior is disrespectful he rolls his eyes and gets hurt. His comebacks are also very disrespectful.
How do I deal with this? What consequence is most suitable?
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amother
Copper
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Mon, Jul 13 2015, 7:01 am
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Kugglegirl
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Mon, Jul 13 2015, 7:18 am
Keep reminding him.
Send him out of the room before you start your conversation with DH if you need privacy.
I dont think you need to "punish" him. Just to keep firm on your boundaries & realize too, that he is old enough to be interested in the adult discussions.
Include him when appropriate & hear him.
There will be lots of this between now & 21.
(I have teens & tweens up to 15 now.)
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amother
Copper
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Mon, Jul 13 2015, 8:14 am
Thanks kugglegirl. Yup, I'm sure we're in for more.
He does participate in many discussions, it's more that I can ask DH something and he'll answer or will answer for me when DH asks something, he will also interrupt conversations that we are clearly not willing to discuss with him. In those cases I just firmly tell him that if it's something he needs to know, we will tell him, and that some things are just between Abba and Ima.
My main issue is when he answers back disrespectfully.
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amother
Copper
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Tue, Jul 14 2015, 1:56 pm
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Miri7
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Tue, Jul 14 2015, 2:38 pm
We've been dealing with some preteen attitude lately. I'm just consistently saying "Try saying that again respectfully/with a different tone." Or "that didn't come out nicely. Try again."
With the interruptions, I say "Aba and I need to talk about this with each other. It's important that he and I can have conversations just between ourselves." Then I try to make sure that we have conversations in which he's included soon afterwards. DS loves to converse with adults so I'm just trying to help him learn when to jump in and when not to.
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FranticFrummie
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Tue, Jul 14 2015, 5:14 pm
Bookmarking.
12yo DD is doing the same thing. It doesn't help that right now she really hates her step father, even though he spoils her rotten and puts up with all kinds of verbal abuse.
Every time I catch her saying something snarky about or to him, I make her do the dishes that day - her worst possible chore. Things have gotten a *tiny* bit better, and at least the dishes are getting done on a regular basis!
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