Is the whole Five Towns fancy?

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:13 am

We are considering a move to the Five Towns for various reasons, but the one major thing that makes me very hesitant is the gashmius factor. We are very plain and down to earth people and I'm worried about living in such a fancy place. Will I find friends? Will I be a social outcast? Dh thinks I'm being silly to possibly dismiss this option when it meets all of our other criteria just because of this, especially since there's no reason we can't just be ourselves even if it means being a little different. I agree to an extent, but if the kids are going to pick up on it, or if me/kids are miserable because we have no friends, it's a legitimate concern. Is it possible to b down to earth there, or are we better off looking elsewhere?

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:21 am

I'd say to look elsewhere. I'm sure you'd find pockets of like minded people , but in terms of your kids: they would be in school with lots of different kids, many of whom come from wealthy and/or materialistic homes. If you know that's just not your thing (it isn't mine either and is one of the main reasons I would not consider living there) it might not be a good fit

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:31 am

tigerwife wrote:

No. There are plenty of 'not fancy' people in the Five Towns. I know a few in Far Rockaway.

yes, but Far Rockway is not part of the 5 times. That said, Far Rockaway may be a better fit for OP

nyer1

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:33 am

no, the whole five towns isn't fancy.
I live here, we like it a lot. we just moved here last year and I was kinda worried about this too, but we've met some REALLY amazing people that are just like us. sure, we also have friends who are more fancy but each to their own. feel free to PM me

amother

Peach

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:38 am

Op here. Dh will not consider Far Rockaway. Ugh, I'm not liking what I'm hearing. Now I have to figure out how to make him understand that this aspect does matter and I'm not silly for worrying...

morah

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:46 am

Yes. The whole entire Five Towns is fancy. Every single person in all of Hewlett, Woodmere, Cedarhurst, Lawrence, and Inwood is fancy, you will find no one normal in any of those places. Rolling Eyes

Ok, now that I'm done being facetious, I will say, I understand your concern. Stereotypes don't come from thin air and the Five Towns does have a certain reputation for a reason. But as with any place, nothing is true of everyone. I don't live there, but I have friends who do and there are definitely parts that are more down to earth as you say. Honestly, painting with a broad brush is just as judgmental as you are imagining all the fancy people to be (and by the way, fancy people can be nice and friendly, even to non-fancy people!) Maybe it isn't the right place for you, but before you write if off for this reason, do some research about the different neighborhoods. As the name implies, there are five towns. And each town has different parts. It's not unlikely that there may be an oasis or two that could work for you.

tigerwife

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 10:55 am

pesek zman wrote:

yes, but Far Rockway is not part of the 5 times. That said, Far Rockaway may be a better fit for OP

Ooops, my bad.

Sorry for lumping you all together.

gold21

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 11:44 am

The way I understand it, Inwood has a different crowd than the rest of the Five Towns
More similar to Far Rockaway's crowd
Maybe look into that
But I would guess that there's a mix of people in all the the areas, though u probably have to find the right block that is your crowd

DrMom

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 12:09 pm

amother wrote:

Op here. Dh will not consider Far Rockaway. Ugh, I'm not liking what I'm hearing. Now I have to figure out how to make him understand that this aspect does matter and I'm not silly for worrying...

Why not?

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 12:13 pm

What do you mean by "fancy" and why is it a bad word? People can't be fancy and perfectly lovely and worthy of associating with? What am I missing here.

kiwi strawberry

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 12:27 pm

gold21 wrote:

I second this. From my experience this is definitely true. It's also more affordable than the rest of the 5 towns.

Also my experience is that yes, most of the 5 towns is 'fancy' but it is also filled with extremely nice, friendly, and genuine people. Extremely.

Good luck with your decision.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 12:52 pm

ThEre are all types of people. You and your husband are likely to find friends like you, however it would be harder for your children if they are in a school where xxx is the norm but you don't do/have xxx.

amother

Orange

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 12:58 pm

amother wrote:

What do you mean by "fancy" and why is it a bad word? People can't be fancy and perfectly lovely and worthy of associating with? What am I missing here.

I'm pretty sure OP doesn't think that fancy is a bad thing, or that such people are unworthy of associating with. It's just that it is hard to be so different than majority of your community. Especially when it's you who has less than everyone else.
I don't blame her.

OP I recommend you look more deeply into certain neighborhoods. You might be surprised.

chayamiriam

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 1:03 pm

My grandchildren go to school in Woodmere. Not fancy at all! It's a beautiful place to live, you can find all sorts of frum people from very yeshivish to very modern living together in the most nonjudgmental way. The schools are very diverse you can find a school that will reflect your families values and is not hard to get into. The homes are nice with lots of property. When my kids moved there I was also afraid of the fancy factor, but found it so untrue and sterotipical ! I am so glad they went ahead a purchased their first home, they love it, and I do too!

chayamiriam

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 1:04 pm