Does babysitting also include light housekeeping?

amother

Purple

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:20 pm

My 15 year old DD was hired to babysit this summer. She was being paid well. Only after she started was it made clear that she was expected to straighten up, do dirty dishes, laundry, help bring in groceries, etc. When these things were not done, she was reprimanded harshly by the mom. Is this a fair expectation? She is not a naturally neat child but is an outstanding caregiver to children. She truly loves the children she cares for. She's had many jobs and we've never come across this. Would you consider demanding that light housework get done from a 15 year old babysitter?

Simple1

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:31 pm

If she wanted housework she should have specified "babysitting and light housekeeping" before the job was given. In any case, I would be uncomfortable with my teen working for someone who is harshly reprimanding her - at least she could have asked nicely.

redroses

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:35 pm

It should 100% be made clear before beginning a job what the responsibilities should be. I wouldn't think that a 15 year old being hired to babysit should be expected to do housework as well.

That being said, if she speaks up and the family also wants someone to do housework, she may lose her job so it's a risk.

Simple1

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:42 pm

I just reread your post, and that seems like a long list of chores. I would understand if she was asked to clean up after herself/the kids, like wipe down table, pick up toys, throw clothing she changes in hamper etc. But I think this woman needs a separate cleaning person.

SRS

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 4:54 pm

By harshly reprimanded do you mean the lady screamed at her? Berated her? Threaten her? What?
Is the generous pay above the rate for a teenager babysitter? What did the employer specify?

I think she might need some backup to remind this mother of the job she signed up to do if it didn't include helping around the house in addition to babysitting. I do think making sure the children clean up and that there is not evidence of their breakfast, lunch, and snack all over are part of the babysitting job. Doing the family's laundry would be an extra in my opinion unless specified.. Of course, she may lose the job and if she wants to risk that possibility, you can assure her there are other jobs out there.

And I personally would not want my own child to work at 15 years old without an understanding that the child is just 15 years old and should be treated more gently than a regular employee. Correction is an important part of the job experience, but being chewed out is beyond the pale.

Miri7

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:03 pm

The "harsh reprimand" is out of line for a teenage babysitter unless she was doing something that endangered a child's life. Not ok in this situation.

I think it's normal to expect the sitter to tidy up the messes the kids make - or get them to help do it, like putting away toys and cleaning up after a snack.

It's also ok to politely ask the sitter to put laundry in the dryer, or help bring in some groceries, etc. I sometimes ask the sitter to fold some laundry if the baby will nap for a long period. But the mom should be really clear about what she would like a hand with and make sure it's not too much. She also can't expect the sitter to do much on top of watching the kids.

perquacky

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:11 pm

I would not expect a teenage babysitter to do much else besides watch the kids. Unless she was getting paid very, very well. I expected more of my adult, live-in sitter. But that's a full-time job.

ra_mom

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:16 pm

No, it does not include light housekeeping unless specially discussed ahead of time.
That said, it makes sense that parent would ask babysitter to keep things clean as they go about their day with the kids.
Reprimanding should not come into the picture.

amother

Purple

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:40 pm

OP here
Yes, my daughter feels she has been sharply reprimanded with words like "that is not OK" to not get all of the dishes washed after watching the baby for 4.5 hours straight. She had even walked the baby to the pharmacy to get some tylenol because he was teething and they were out. She's never been treated like this before. Yes the pay is better than she's ever gotten, but the terms were never spelled out that she'd be expected to help clean up dishes from Shabbat, put in the family's laundry, clean floors, etc. The mom sort of dumped that all on her after she started and she went along with it because she didn't have the guts or the social skills to say No. This morning she did say No and that caused a huge reaction and she was basically fired. Now the mom wants to speak to me. I know she's up a creek because she lost her babysitter and she needs one for when she goes to work. Surprise: DD is not interested in working their any longer. But I have to speak to this mom. Help!

sky

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:53 pm

Recently there was a thread were a poster wanted to know if she could ask her teenage babysitter to help clean and the general consensus was no. That teenagers babysit and don't do housekeeping unless that is agreed upon.

PAMOM

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 5:57 pm

OP, feel perfectly comfortable telling the woman that the job requirements were whatever she originally told your daughter they would be. Tell her what everyone here had said--that it's perfectly understandable thst she'd be expected to clean up after the kids but that anything else isn't child care. But first, have answers to questions about work hours when kids are napping. Is it reasonable to expect her to help with other tasks then if she's being paid? Is she paid by the day or the hour? If it's by the hour and she doesn't wsnt to work additional hours, that's done. If it's by the day (ie, she works from 9-5), then the woman might expect she'd be working the whole time she's there. She should have said that before hiring your daughter though, and if it's not what your daughter expected based on hiring conversations, you can say that. It's not reasonable to expect a 15 yo to be able to answer this woman's complaints. You can try to renegotiate the terms of the job (childcare only as defined by "....") as long as your daughter doesn't need the hours she may forfeit. And to clarify, there's no way that washing old dishes is childcare.

Amarante

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 6:22 pm

Well then your DD should not work for her. I think the consensus is the woman was out of line with expectations and she is a nasty piece of entitled work to boot.

There is no reason to feel apologetic when you speak to her nor should you try to get your daughter to work there just because this woman's beeyitchiness caused her OWN problems. The woman made her own bed so let her figure out tne child care issues. It's not your daughter's responsibility.

amother

Purple

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 6:31 pm

Amarante wrote:

I totally agree and Thank You. Now I could use some help knowing what to say to this woman. Do iI tell her that her nastiness has caused my daughter to not want to work for her?

PAMOM

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 6:39 pm

No. If she calls you, just listen and respond that the job wasn't as described. Would your daughter be able to talk to her if the woman asks if she'll come back to watch the kids, or is she too young to handle that? There's no reason to point out how rude she was, just keep repeating that your daughter thinks its better if she (woman) looks for someone who's willing to do multiple jobs.

Amarante

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 6:41 pm

amother wrote:

I totally agree and Thank You. Now I could use some help knowing what to say to this woman. Do iI tell her that her nastiness has caused my daughter to not want to work for her?

While it might be emotionally tempting to get back at this woman for abusing your DD, I personally wouldn't go down that path because, in the end, it just would make an unpleasant conversation worse.

You owe this woman nothing - she "fired" your daughter and she abused her emotionally.

However, I would just give a bland explanation that it evidently just wasn't working out for either she or your daughter and that you are sure she will have no problems finding someone who is much more suitable for her expectations.

Kill her with kindness so to speak and have the last laugh. Twisted Evil

ETA - I don't think your daughter should be put in a position of having to talk to this woman to justify it. Normally, I am not so much in favor of helicopter parenting but I think in this instance, it is better to let your daughter off the hook and spare her more emotional distress. I know when I was 15, I had a hard time sticking up for myself with adults.

Rubber Ducky

Mon, Jul 13 2015, 6:50 pm

The lady has unrealistic expectations. If you can say that graciously in a way she can understand, yasher koach to you. But I think you need to be clear more than you need to be nice.

I sure hope she doesn't hire another kid for the position.