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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Gave my son a scar



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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 4:38 am
My child was messing up my room and I yanked him out of my closet. He bumped his cheek into the corner of the wall and now has a scar on his face. That was a few weeks ago and he still keeps saying that he won't forgive me. He is 8. What do I tell him when he say things like that? Will he forgive and forget eventually? I'm having trouble living with myself
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 4:45 am
Ask him why he "won't forgive you". Listen to his point of view, and reflect it back to him so he will have his feelings validated.

Explain to him that it was a mistake, that you feel terrible about it, and that in the future you will be very careful not to be physical like that again. At the same time, you can also explain to him why it is important to you that he stay out of your things.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 6:21 am
I really think there is something more going on here. Why was he in your closet in the first place? Why does he think he can hold this over you? Why did you yank him? Were you indeed too rough or just rough enough to get the job done? Examine yourself and either come to peace with your actions and stand up for yourself, or own up to it if you made a mistake. Or perhaps both. Just know, this is a test. How can you pass it?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 7:19 am
Let him know that bh scars fade and can disappear. Propose him to put anti scarring cream. Try cicalfate or bi oil.But only once it's fully closed.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 7:40 am
You apologize each time he says it. I'm sure you didn't think you were being too rough (I hope you weren't) and sht happens sometimes. However, the result of your deliberate action left a scar, so when he mentions it, you say that you're sorry, you'll be sure it never happens again, and that you hope he'll be able to forgive you. If he messes up your room again, you say, "Look, we need to find a way to deal with this." You do NOT let him feel that your actions were his fault. If you take responsibility for what you did, he can feel more confident that you can keep it from happening again. And it can't happen again. Once is an accident though.
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