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DS and DD keep fighting over a seat- how to deal?



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amother
Bisque


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 8:13 am
I’m just wondering if anyone has any brilliant advice for me…. DS (9) and DD (6) fight over a specific seat at the kitchen table. So we take turns, alternating between the days when they could sit there- one of them gets Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and the other Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Now one wants to switch days and the other refuses.
HELP. HOW do you deal with such petty fighting? I tried punishing them that neither could sit there but then DS was all mad ALL day.
I’m lost Sad
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 8:18 am
Tell them that if they cant figure out a way to compromise on their own it will be your new seat from now on. They'll be mad for a few days and then hopefully it will pass.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 8:21 am
I'm sorry you're upset, tomorrow is your turn.

Momx4 has good advice.
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LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 8:24 am
Have you tried sitting them down and asking why they want it? Why does one suddenly want to switch? Why the refusal? Are the arrangements seemingly fair? Are there benefits to that seat? Is it closer to Imma? Abba? What happens on Shabbos?
Kids at that age are egocentric and the 9 year old is just coming out of that shell. It's hard-good luck!!
And don't let your sons temper tantrum force your hand. You are the mom. Let him know that "it's understandable that you are upset but there is a way we act here in this family. If you want to be angry, be angry in your room."
Maybe have a chart- MWF One gets for breakfast and the other for dinner. STTH you switch. Lunch on Sunday neither gets it. It's your turn. Smile
Or, every week switch who has which rotation. Harder for you to keep track but post a sign on the wall and make an arrow to connote which week it is. Where they can't move it.
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shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 9:25 pm
s/o gave us this advice: whoever gets the coveted seat has to serve and clean up. Want to know how quickly our problems resolved?
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2015, 10:13 pm
shanie5 wrote:
s/o gave us this advice: whoever gets the coveted seat has to serve and clean up. Want to know how quickly our problems resolved?

This is great advice. We do things like this, for example, when kids complain that "he got more than me." We have one child do the cutting/dividing and the OTHER child gets to choose his portion first. You'd be amazed at how precisely children can divide things. Smile A little self-interest goes a long way.
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