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Need advice from mothers of special needs children



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SRB




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2015, 12:39 am
My friend has a baby with severe special needs. I have not seen or talked to this friend much since she had this child simply because we have both been so busy/overwhelmed. We are starting to "re-kindle" our friendship and I want to be sensitive to her situation. Im a first time mom myself and never had anyone close to me with severe special needs. I feel so insecure about what to say to her about the baby. I really just want to say the right thing to support her.

I'm wondering if any amothers with special needs children can give me some guidance on things to say or not to say and how to be a good friend/support.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2015, 12:53 am
I guess just ask her how everything is and led her take the lead on the conversation.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2015, 2:17 am
I just want to applaud you for putting effort into this relationship. Go with the flow; if you're already worried about being sensitive then I'm sure you'll do fine naturally. But thanks on your friend's behalf for taking interest in continuing the relationship. Life can be so lonely sometimes.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2015, 6:08 am
The best advice is already here.

Two other things. Friends can help us see the positives when we are down. And they can be the ones we trust when we want to look honestly at the hard or painful realities. Follow her cues and be sensitive, but you can note for yourself the many wonderful qualities of her special child and, when appropriate, talk about them with sincerity.

When appropriate, spend enough time that your own little one grows comfortable with hers, and doesn't avoid or pull away from someone differently abled. That is also huge. For both children.
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lizard8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 28 2015, 10:08 am
Its a lot easier when the child is still a baby. You can talk about her smile, who she looks like, how she is adjusting to motherhood...Don't bring up your baby's milestones, or anything that can be negatively compared.
Talk about other things in life besides kids. Mothers have their own life too (or so we like to think Wink )
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