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Do you send married siblings invitations
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 8:41 am
You are making a wedding or bar mitzvah do you send the married siblings an invitation to the simcha?
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 8:42 am
Yes
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Talya




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 8:43 am
Yup
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 8:45 am
Yes - if only because they need the details on record! It'll save you a lot of hassle in the long run - "Hey Ma, I need to organise a sitter, did you say the shmorg was 4 or 5?"!
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 8:45 am
You do if you want them to come. Wink
Why wouldn't you send?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:00 am
OP we did not receive invitation to the wedding and the invitations went out at least two weeks ago. Many people tell me they received the invite. Do we say anything or not?
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:03 am
amother wrote:
OP we did not receive invitation to the wedding and the invitations went out at least two weeks ago. Many people tell me they received the invite. Do we say anything or not?


There is the possibility it's lost in the mail. Or the possibility that they decided to save money and not send to you and just assume you're coming (not a very classy way to save a buck in my opinion but I know people who would think this way).

But yes, say something. Why not?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:08 am
amother wrote:
There is the possibility it's lost in the mail. Or the possibility that they decided to save money and not send to you and just assume you're coming (not a very classy way to save a buck in my opinion but I know people who would think this way).

But yes, say something. Why not?


It was probably done to save a stamp. How do you phrase it not to start a argument?
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:17 am
amother wrote:
It was probably done to save a stamp. How do you phrase it not to start a argument?


Well, what is it that you want to accomplish? Do you want a copy of the invitation just so you will have all the details ("Can you email us a copy of the invitation so we can have the address, time, etc. in front of us?") or is it your intention to let them know you were hurt not to receive a copy ("How come everyone got an invitation but us? I know you know we're coming but we still would have enjoyed opening up that beautiful invitation to your simcha.")
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:22 am
MiracleMama wrote:
Well, what is it that you want to accomplish? Do you want a copy of the invitation just so you will have all the details ("Can you email us a copy of the invitation so we can have the address, time, etc. in front of us?") or is it your intention to let them know you were hurt not to receive a copy ("How come everyone got an invitation but us? I know you know we're coming but we still would have enjoyed opening up that beautiful invitation to your simcha.")
[quote]
I find it odd when a stranger tells you they received the invitation and it's beautiful. If I saw a copy of the invitation I would know what they are talking about. Shouldn't we feel we are some what part of the simcha?
Btw we have a neighbor getting married the same night and received their invitation.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:24 am
amother wrote:
It was probably done to save a stamp. How do you phrase it not to start a argument?
Why would it bring on an argument? Just say "Sis, I was wondering if you sent invited to family members?" If she says no, then its all good. If she says yes, just tell her that you have not gotten one yet and would just like to know all of the details to know when where and all of that.
Why would that bring on an argument?
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:35 am
Shabbat said it very well.
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:44 am
Am I missing something here? Is this when OP reluctantly tells us that she hasn't spoken to her sister in 10 years because... And she didn't invite this sister to her simcha because... YES!! People usually send married siblings an invitation. They have you on the guest list and they send everyone an invitation. That's in general what is done. But if my sister didn't send me an invitation and I already knew about the upcoming Simcha, I would think nothing of it but would mention that "I want one too!!!" - I'm the baby sister embarrassed. And she would send me one or email one. Maybe she ran short of printed invitations and knew I didn't need a formal invitation. and I know I don't have to RSVP

So what's really your story OP? Or don't tell us, but your question here really makes no sense (from someone who has a lot of sibling experience)
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:51 am
Sanguine wrote:
Am I missing something here? Is this when OP reluctantly tells us that she hasn't spoken to her sister in 10 years because... And she didn't invite this sister to her simcha because... YES!! People usually send married siblings an invitation. They have you on the guest list and they send everyone an invitation. That's in general what is done. But if my sister didn't send me an invitation and I already knew about the upcoming Simcha, I would think nothing of it but would mention that "I want one too!!!" - I'm the baby sister embarrassed. And she would send me one or email one. Maybe she ran short of printed invitations and knew I didn't need a formal invitation. and I know I don't have to RSVP

So what's really your story OP? Or don't tell us, but your question here really makes no sense (from someone who has a lot of sibling experience)


I was by the Vort and told what color dress my kids and I should wear and pay for. I just thought it would be the norm to get a proper invite in mail. Even though they know we are attending.
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GetReal




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 9:57 am
You mean the parent's siblings, right? Like aunt and uncles of the chassan/kallah? I think invitations are usually sent but maybe it was overlooked. Not worth making a huge deal over. Married siblings of the chassan/kallah, I wouldn't expect an invitation but I was helping my parents make the list so I addded myself Smile
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:03 am
amother wrote:
I was by the Vort and told what color dress my kids and I should wear and pay for. I just thought it would be the norm to get a proper invite in mail. Even though they know we are attending.
I did not get an invitation to my brother's wedding. It would have been a waste of a stamp. I did not send my siblings invitations when I got married. Some people just dont see the need for immediate family to need invitations. They know the details of the simcha. That just may be it.
But if this is bothering you so much, just ask. Again, why would this bring on an argument?????
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:09 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
I did not get an invitation to my brother's wedding. It would have been a waste of a stamp. I did not send my siblings invitations when I got married. Some people just dont see the need for immediate family to need invitations. They know the details of the simcha. That just may be it.
But if this is bothering you so much, just ask. Again, why would this bring on an argument?????

The Chosson and Kallah are acting as if the world was just created for them during this engagement period. So no one else has feeling at this time.
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21young




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:10 am
OP, I think everyone is puzzled because usually siblings are close enough that you can tell them things that other people may not, and you could just ask them why you didn't get an invitation. If you are really not close to this sibling (which doesn't seem to be the case, based on the color-coded vort dresses) it would make sense that you're a little more formal. If not, in any regular sibling relationship you could as something like this without a second thought.

The comment about paying for the vort dresses sounds like you're resentful of this sibling, which makes me think that because of your annoyance you're reading into things and making an issue out of a simple mistake. If this is the case, stop overthinking it, just call up and ask for an invitation.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:11 am
amother wrote:
The Chosson and Kallah are acting as if the world was just created for them during this engagement period. So no one else has feeling at this time.
Huh? Of course the chatan and kallah are in their own world right now. Thats being engaged. I still dont understand what the big deal is to ask them if they sent out invites to the family??? What will it hurt you? Or them? I am completely not understanding what is the big deal to ask?
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:13 am
Obviously there is more to this story. I can't imagine any situation where asking sibling for an invitation is a potentially explosive request.
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