Parents never noticed 2 yo child was missing

Barbara

Fri, Aug 07 2015, 1:53 pm

sotired3 wrote:

I once had a family come for a meal on sukkos with 4 kids. They left, and the mother came back about 3 minutes later, as they had left the baby in my house. The child was fine the whole time, but these things happen way to easily.

I had a sister who used to wander off all the time, my mother and all of us older kids were neurotic about keeping her in sight at all times, and I'm that way with my kids now also.

OK, I can beat that. Before I was religious, I once attended an emergency hearing at an appellate judge's home on a Saturday afternoon. The case was quite political, so there were a lot of reporters, and a lot of protesters. The judge invited them all in. And when it was over, someone left a toddler behind, in the judge's living room. The judge picked up the kid, and was standing on his lawn, yelling, "did anyone forget this child?"

Ruchel

Fri, Aug 07 2015, 2:04 pm

sky wrote:

We recently stayed in a hotel on the side of the highway that officially only lets 4 people in a room but will make an exception for 6. There are no connecting rooms. Its the type of place you sleep at while on a 8+ hour drive between communities and they advertise specials to the Jewish community.

There was a large family (a lot more then allowed in a room) staying there the women and girls slept in one room and the men and boys slept in the other. the younger boys were constantly running back and forth between the rooms all night...

Ok. I have never heard of this lol.

Raisin

Fri, Aug 07 2015, 3:17 pm

Barbara wrote:

No meals -- they went out late at night, after dinner (to avoid seeing people in bathing suits?), and slept late the next morning. No missed diaper changes or tucking in; each parent thought the other one did it.

As I said, its not epic parenting. But I'm sure its not unique.

And FTR, I was never left behind, but my cousin's mother loaded all the groceries in the car, then drove away, leaving my cousin in the cart. (These were the days when you couldn't bring the cart to your car.)

hey pro

they probably went out late since it is really hot in the daytime.

Sanguine

Sat, Aug 08 2015, 3:25 pm

My aunt's neighbor went away for Yontif. An hour after they left the house they called my aunt and told her they just realized that they left the baby at home!!! (safely sleeping in his crib). They didn't have enough time to come back for the baby and then get to their destination on time for Yontif so my aunt had to take the baby in for 2 days of Yontif.

pickle321

Sat, Aug 08 2015, 3:36 pm

Sanguine wrote:

That's crazy. You would think they would come home and forget about going away if they didn't have time to get there.

Another mom

Sat, Aug 08 2015, 3:43 pm

pickle321 wrote:

That's crazy. You would think they would come home and forget about going away if they didn't have time to get there.

Wow, I agree! Eat salami or something! But to leave yr baby for 2 whole days...??? How did they not notice the carseat was empty? Wonder if there were siblings who didn't think this was strange... maybe they were happy to get more attention from Mom & Dad?

Sanguine

Sat, Aug 08 2015, 3:55 pm

pickle321 wrote:

That's crazy. You would think they would come home and forget about going away if they didn't have time to get there.

Well, they obviously cut it very close to Yontif (which is probably why they left in such a frantic rush and forgot the baby), and they wouldn't have had a thing cooked (or maybe bought) at home... Why I am I trying to defend them?? How do you even forget your baby at home?? How did they not notice? It's not like he could be sleeping in the other room.

Well, once I went across the street to pick up my son from a friend. As I was walking up the stairs of this neighbor my 3 year old daughter who was with me said "Where's baby?" OOPS!! He was home. He was very new (maybe 3 weeks). I was thinking of my son that we were going to get. I remembered to take my 3 year old with me. But taking the baby really wasn't part of our routine yet. So we went on to get my older son before we went home for the sleeping baby. I just prayed that my friend wouldn't ask where the baby was embarrassed

. That was more than 21 years ago and I never forgot a child since then.

grace413

Sat, Aug 08 2015, 5:04 pm

True confessions.

I have 2 kids. We made aliyah when they were 6 & 3 and while DH and I were at a government office he had to go to one place, I had to go to a different place and when we met up again 30 minutes later neither of us has 3 year old DD. This was in downtown Jerusalem. My DD didn't speak Hebrew, barely spoke English, didn't know her last name.

After looking around for a few minutes we went to the entrance of the building where the guard said, yes, I did see a little blonde girl walk out to the street awhile ago. We called the police, they said they'd start looking for her and send a police officer to us. Just as he reached us he got a call that DD had been brought in to the police station. When we got there she was eating soup with a bunch of police offers, happy as can be and when she saw me said "Ima, I couldn't find you."

So when one parent thinks the other parent has the kids, you can lose one even if you only have 2.

shanie5

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 12:48 am

My older dd planned on taking my younger kids out. After they left, I went to pick up my sister and then planned on running an errand with her. As I picked up my sister I suddenly remembered that littlest dd had not gone with the others and was asleep in her bed at home. B"H my niece was very nearby and went over to check on dd until we got back home a few minutes later. I was gone only a few minutes total, but it did scare me into realizing that nobody is perfect-and that mistakes can happen to anybody.

Sanguine

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 4:07 am

Scary story - about 15-20 years ago we were in Brooklyn for a family wedding. My family had come from Israel as had my sister's. All the cousins (including the ones who live there) went ice skating in Prospect Park. Don't know about now but Prospect Park was never a safe place to be. You quickly got out of your car and ran into the skating rink. When it was time to go all the kids piled into the various cars with their cousins. With winter coats and hoods my sister was sure she saw her 10 yo son in another car and everyone went home together. When they got home they realized that this boy was missing (sister had seen a cousin in the other car). They raced back to Prospect Park (from Avenue J for those who know Flatbush - it's not so close) and found the skating rink locked and no sign of their son. This is a little white/Jewish kid lost in Prospect Park. He spoke (accented) English but for all other purposes he may have been from Mars. No one had cell phones then. They called the police. Everyone went out in every direction looking, and looking and looking...

Happy ending - This kid had stopped to look at the ducks in a pond when everyone was getting in the cars and suddenly realized he was alone. The skating rink was locked so he just started walking, by luck right down Ocean Avenue. Not a great neighborhood at all but he was just a little kid with his hood up walking and no one paid attention to him. When he reached Avenue I he remembered that grandma lives near Avenue J (what do you talk about when visiting Flatbush if not shopping on Avenue J?) So he turned in there and they found him on my mother's corner on 21st and I!!

So that's how you lose a Jewish/white kid in a neighborhood that is anything but that.

But they realized he was missing almost immediately, not hours later.

Sanguine

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 6:54 am

Abby2 wrote:

There is no justification for not noticing that a 2 year old is missing for 12 hours.

All these stories are interesting and BH have happy endings, but this story is different.
It was overnight?!
Poor, poor child!

The child was probably OK. They were out late and he probably just sat down and fell asleep - Didn't even know he was lost.

But the parents aren't normal!! I wonder how old the rest of the kids are. Ten kids under 10? The 2 year old was one of the "big" kids? I'd love to see how Mom runs their house regularly. I'm sure it was the father's fault. The mother got into bed to nurse the two youngest and everything else sounded quiet. It was late, everyone just crawled into bed. Mom assumed that DH was givng out drinks, taking to bathroom...

But how did it take till 11 AM to take a head count?!?!?

Frumdoc

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 7:26 am

I wonder why none of the kid's siblings notcied he wasn't there all night.

Although it is all too easy to lose a child for a few minutes, the overnight thing is a bit odd. Maybe some were staying in a different dira and the parents thought he was with the older ones. But I would expect most parents check in on their children before going to sleep themsleves just to make sure they are comfortable, not too hot or cold, have their favorite toy etc.

33055

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 8:19 am

I am in the minority here. If I sent my two year old out at night and he was left behind overnight, I wouldn't say it is not epic care giving, I would be beyond furious. That poor baby. How scared and abandoned he must have felt.

Doesn't the mother have a routine for this child at night? Doesn't she wash his face, brush his teeth, say shema?

Sanguine

Sun, Aug 09 2015, 8:23 am

Squishy wrote:

You're not the minority. Who would you be furious with? It's the mother's fault (and father's).