Unemployment has actually been nice... need to go back

amother

Papaya

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 1:12 am

My year is split into school year/summer. I have a very busy life, high stress. This summer I had a shorter job than expected, I thought I'd be working through August but stopped at the end of July for various reasons. It was pretty disappointing financially but it has been the best thing for my mental health! There was an adjustment period but finally after less than two weeks I feel like I am a better parent, I am getting my home into shape and feeling good about it (usually housework burns me out very quickly but right now I feel so satisfied that things are looking good) I have enough energy to get through the days. I've been playing catch-up in a lot of areas and still have more to do (appointments, errands that have been pushed off too long) but starting to feel like between all that I could find some time for a hobby too. I was thinking of pulling my kids out of day camp early because of the sudden drop in funds but decided not to (what if something else comes up? And they were doing so well. And at least for one week at a time, I really do need the time to catch up with myself...) and it has been like a vacation. I don't think I've had this kind of vacation since my first kid was born! Maybe for a day here and there, like if I needed to leave them all in childcare because I had an urgent dentist appointment or something. Rolling Eyes

(yes, that's a vacation!)

Anyway day camp is about to end, we'll have a couple of weeks of intense family time, and then the school year is going to start again and I really have no choice, DH is out of work so back to the school year job I go. But now that I've tasted freedom I'm really kind of sad that I need to do this. I couldn't do this staying at home full time but I could totally deal with cutting way back on my work hours and doing it more like a hobby. There are women who do that, work for the "extras." But my work is not my choice, I feel the pressure creeping back already. Even WITH this extra time I didn't get as much done as I could have - but I feel that taking it slower was a good choice. I still have 3 1/2 days left, maybe I'll get some more errands in...

Anyway I know it will all be ok, and I will just be happy (in a way) that I got even this unplanned "vacation." I know I'm in a better place because of it, I was really burning out before and there was a lot of personal stressy stuff going on that would have been much worse combined with work at the same time. And at least I get to start off the year with a tidier cleaner home.

I just... sigh... needed to vent.