Tichels are Awesome (with elaboration)

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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty -> Sheitels & Tichels

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ProudMommie

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:33 am

This is not an agenda pushing post. This is only my attempt to share with my sisters something good that has changed my life in the positive direction (in terms of ruchnius).

Changing to a tichel has opened up a new inner world and helped me to improve in many ways. It helped me to become more honest with myself and certainly with Hshem.

This post is ONLY ONLY ONLY for women who feel and know in their hearts

-that wearing a sheitel is problematic,
-that having goish hair on your head is not the ideal situation,
-that having hair that looks better than your own is kind of silly, hypocritical and totally non-nonsensical since the purpose is not to attract and nice hair even if not your own, attracts for sure.
-that looking single when you are married is deceptive and defeats the purpose of hair covering... to let the whole world know that you belong to your husband and you are together in this sacred space that no one can violate.
- that no matter how many "logical" explanations there are, and even if halacha allows it, and even if there is a mesora for sheitels that look like straw.. etc. etc. etc. that we are a [gentile] kadosh not [gentile] b'dieved, not [gentile] Saks Fifth Avenue, etc...

If you need any guidance or support switching to a tichel within your sheitel wearing community, please pm me and I will connect you with ladies/ OR rebbitzens that will give you tips/pointers in this area as well as chizuk.

May all our actions on behalf of Hshem and changes we make to look more and more like a [gentile] kadosh inch the geula sheleima closer and closer...

Rutabaga

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:45 am

How is this not pushing an agenda?

I see you joined Imamother 5 years ago but don't have many posts. If you haven't been around much lately then you may not have realized that there have been long (somewhat acrimonious) threads on this topic already.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 4:43 am

I agree with rutabaga. How is this not pushing an agenda? And I ask that as a woman who does not own a wig and wears only mitpachot and hats.
Let live and you keep on top of your own ruchniut. Dont "worry" about other's spirituality and connection with Hashem.

ProudMommie

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 6:00 am

Maybe I was not clear in my post. I am not asking anyone's opinion on hair covering, or their hashkafa in terms of me being worried or not worried about a fellow Yid's ruchnius ...

This post is ONLY for women who are CONSIDERING changing from wearing sheitels to tichels .

If you disagree with the idea of it, this post should not be of any interest to you and therefore, you do not need to respond one way or another.

I am not interested in starting a debate at all. I am clear with my position on this and want to connect other women who are considering making that move -- as it is not simple if you live in a community where sheitels are the norm to make that transition -- to others who may be helpful and have experience in this area.

I don't have time or interest to debate this issue furher, and will only respond to queries for more info.

thanks

champion

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 6:22 am

imochka wrote:

-that wearing a sheitel is problematic,
-that having goish hair on your head is not the ideal situation,
-that having hair that looks better than your own is kind of silly, hypocritical and totally non-nonsensical since the purpose is not to attract and nice hair even if not your own, attracts for sure.
-that looking single when you are married is deceptive and defeats the purpose of hair covering... to let the whole world know that you belong to your husband and you are together in this sacred space that no one can violate.
- that no matter how many "logical" explanations there are, and even if halacha allows it, and even if there is a mesora for sheitels that look like straw.. etc. etc. etc. that we are a [gentile] kadosh not [gentile] b'dieved, not [gentile] Saks Fifth Avenue, etc...

Its the self righteous, know it all attitude that is irksome.
Your post reads like a missionary print out.
If you would have posted something like
"I am in the mist of switching from a sheital to a tichel in a community where it is not the norm. Is there anybody else out there? Lets swap resources..."
that would have been fine.
AND BTW,you can't really claim that you did not want to get into a debate when you spread your bait right out in front of us.

Frumdoc

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 7:11 am

I'm a tichel wearer in a community of sheital wearers, but I don't feel I have anything to teach or inspire anyone who covers their hair differently to me. And I'm definitely not on a higher madreiga because I wear cloth and not hair on my head.

Maybe I should start handing out leaflets "We are all good for keeping halacha in the way that we can".

Frumdoc

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 7:15 am

PS it is very simple to do irrespective of what others do, just slap a tichel on your head and away you go.

mille

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 7:34 am

You most certainly could have made a post about how awesome tichels are without putting down other valid halachic interpretations. I think that's your problem here, OP.

happybeingamom

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:13 am

I just bought a new sheitel and my Dh is so happy. It is so good to be an Isha K'shera and make your husband happy.

Does anyone want support on being a Isha K'shera?

You know what ticks me off when people spend money on ads or print fliers about how wrong it is to wear a sheitel. The money used for that could go to feed poor people, help support our overtaxed Yeshiva system or support Limmud Torah. Spending money on ads because you disagree with what many Rabbanim hold is mutar is chutzpah.

I also believe if you take away the shaitel many more women would not cover their hair so what did you accomplish?

sourstix

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:45 am

I appreciate that op wants to be better but why knock others while trying to be better?

youngishbear

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:53 am

Frumdoc wrote:

PS it is very simple to do irrespective of what others do, just slap a tichel on your head and away you go.

Love this post!

Easier said than done, of course. But I admire your attitude.

(But those beautiful wrapunzel constructions do seem to require more than a single slap... )

MrsDash

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 10:59 am

happysmile1

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 1:08 pm

Tichels are awesome! Op thank you for your post!
It's not that anyone is trying to knock sheitels, but there is a tremendous lack of knowledge out there about the wig. Women don't know that it is truly a big cover up. While some Rabbanim do give a heter for a sheitel, many of them will privately say that the wigs we are wearing today totally defeat the purpose of the head covering. The heter was only given to wigs that look wiggy, the sheitel is not supposed to make a married women look better than she did when she was single. It's supposed to create a barrier between the married women and other men - it can't really do that if it looks sillky and natural and flowing.
This is not meant to offend- it's just the facts. Women should wear their beautiful wigs at home for their husbands. Instead they usually wear them outside where other men see them and then when they come home they take them off! The whole point is to look beautiful for your husband and not for other men.
Bh there are lots of women from all over that are starting to question the sheitels and seriously considering only wearing tichels. Until 200 years ago, jewish women only wore tichels! The whole sheitel started to accommodate a weak dor and has turned in to a very lucrative business that transforms modest jewish women in to Hollywood actresses. Many pple outside of the orthodox circles have a field day with the wigs. They make so much fun of them. It's so obviously hypocritical to them. But when you live in the frum world you just become desensitized and think it's normal. It's not! That's why so many Gedolim screamed about the wigs. Many forbade them. Honestly, what's the point of putting hair on top on hair- it makes no sense. Do you really think HaShem commanded us to cover out hair so we can wear these wigs?
When a woman wears a Tichel she looks married. Period. She looks like a religious married women. She looks like she is obviously covering her hair, and it really does create a barrier between her and other men. Her hair, her beauty is reserved only for her husband.
Kol hakavod to the Op for having the guts to post what you did- and for switching to a Tichel! Just now that there are many out there now who are doing he same!

Barbara

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 1:37 pm

Did you know that there are entire movements of Orthodox Judaism that think that a tichel is nothing more than second best, and that only a sheitl is truly acceptable?

I don't mean to offend you. I'm sure you're doing your best, wearing a just barely acceptable head covering.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

Wear a mop on your head for all I care. But stop insulting women who are following THEIR rabbis and THEIR customs, with your nasty little digs.

And FTR, I grew up Conservative. I never ever ever heard anyone make a joke or comment about Orthodox women's sheitls. It wasn't on our radar. We didn't care enough about Orthodox women, or their hair, to comment. Even today, I have lots of Reform, Conservative, and secular friends. None of whom care about what Orthodox women put on their heads.

finallyamommy

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 1:50 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

People have only been wearing wigs for 200 years?

And yet, wigs are mentioned in the Gemara. I'm pretty sure that the Gemara is more than 200 years old.

And I speak as someone else who doesn't own a sheitel and thinks tichels are halachically preferable.

happybeingamom

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 1:58 pm

happysmile1 wrote:

In the general population why would a hair covering mean that a woman is married. Do you think the general population knows the ins and outs of Jewish law.

Many hold the hair has to be covered, how you cover it is irrelevant. A wig as with all clothing one should chose one that is tznius (which is a matter of interpretation)

There are some including husbands who feel a tichel is a in the house clothing like a robe and it is inappropriate to wear it outside. That is their sensitivity.

Many women who have to be in a professional setting for whatever reason can't wear a tichel just like some men who wear a toupee because they can't wear a Yarmulka in some professional settings.

Kitten

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:06 pm

OP, besides seeming ignorant about other mainstream halachic opinions and historical facts about hair covering, as other posters already pointed out, why would you assume that all sheitel wearers have gorgeous human hair sheitels nicer than their own hair? Do you also really think tichels can't be attractive? You are not very convincing.

For the record, I switched to wearing a sheitel all the time outside the house Twisted Evil

watergirl

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:12 pm

youngishbear wrote:

Love this post!

Easier said than done, of course. But I admire your attitude.

(But those beautiful wrapunzel constructions do seem to require more than a single slap... )

I'm a wrapunzelite - seriously after a week or so, it really is a slap. Maybe a slap and a half. Just sayin.

sourstix

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:20 pm

everybody should do what their rav say to. end of conversation. theres a lot to do so lets get moving......

Kitten

Tue, Aug 11 2015, 3:33 pm

sourstix wrote:

everybody should do what their rav say to. end of conversation. theres a lot to do so lets get moving......

I agree, but then imamother would not be what it is Wink

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