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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Lost her teacher
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:19 pm
if a child had a teacher and she passed away suddenly, what to expect to happen? how will child behave about it? is it ok if she is playing and laughing but sometime worried?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:23 pm
Of course. So normal. It would be worrisome of she was upset the whole day every day. Especially since it's the summer and the reality isn't so in the face. She should continue living her happy childhood and it's OK to sometimes get sad when reflecting.
Poor girls.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:23 pm
Did this happen during school? Was it addressed? Who would the school normally call in for such situations? Maybe you can contact him/her.
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Optione




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:41 pm
amother wrote:
if a child had a teacher and she passed away suddenly, what to expect to happen? how will child behave about it? is it ok if she is playing and laughing but sometime worried?

This is EXTREMELY appropriate for elementary aged children. I know from professional and personal experience.
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 8:48 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Did this happen during school? Was it addressed? Who would the school normally call in for such situations? Maybe you can contact him/her.


I assumed she was referring to the crash in Arizona. The 2 women who were killed were 20-something yo teachers in bais Yaakov of Boro park.

I don't know if the school started dealing with it with their campers (bais Yaakov day camp) or if they will be dealing with it when school starts in a few weeks. I sure hope they offer guidance to parents in the interim. I know chai lifeline is involved...

Crying
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 9:08 pm
oy this is so sad. cant imagine what goes through the head of a 3rd grader. what are they thinking? I wonder....
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 9:10 pm
as a mother what would young tell the child? I guess that the person was ill, and hashem called them to shamayim and will not be seeing him/her anymore. does that sound ok?but he/she is looking down at all the good things you do and is in a very good place near hashem is very very good and peaceful.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 9:15 pm
Oh wow. How sad. I hope the school is going to have some counselors on hand in case kids want to discuss it when they get back to school in a couple of weeks and maybe set up a hotline parents can call with concerns meanwhile.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 9:39 pm
Chai Lifeline will come in for situations like this with their crisis counselors. You can ask the school about it. Fyi, I've seen kids that age who have lost a parent deal with it in a way similar to what you describe.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Wed, Aug 12 2015, 10:07 pm
My son is now in his 30's, so over 20 years ago, he had a primary rebbe that was in a tragic accident in the cheder parking lot & was niftar. (I don't remember if any children saw anything.)

I remember him asking how they would fit the aron on a plane, as a plane was that tiny thing he saw in the sky.

In those days I am pretty sure we didn't have Chai Lifeline (or the new division for coping with tragedy) but I don't remember anyone talking much about it. I suppose the kids just managed somehow, though very likely some had some difficulties.

I am sure they're going to have therapists talk to the teachers and the children and everyone will be alert for children that take it hard.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 8:09 am
cbsp wrote:
I assumed she was referring to the crash in Arizona. The 2 women who were killed were 20-something yo teachers in bais Yaakov of Boro park.

I don't know if the school started dealing with it with their campers (bais Yaakov day camp) or if they will be dealing with it when school starts in a few weeks. I sure hope they offer guidance to parents in the interim. I know chai lifeline is involved...

Crying


I didn't know they were teachers.
I was rethinking what I wrote, unless OP was from the southern hemisphere no, they wouldn't be in school.
What cbsp said. And maybe this can be distilled on a kid's level - if they can say what they admired and liked about their teacher, a parent can say, now that she can't do those mitzvos, or show those nice middos in this world anymore, we can try to do fill the empty space and take on something. (In a way that won't lead them to be obsessive about it.)
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 8:44 am
sourstix wrote:
as a mother what would young tell the child? I guess that the person was ill, and hashem called them to shamayim and will not be seeing him/her anymore. does that sound ok?but he/she is looking down at all the good things you do and is in a very good place near hashem is very very good and peaceful.


I'm not a professional, but I can't think of a good reason why to tell a kid that someone was niftar of an illness if it isn't true. Mind explaining?
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Amelia Bedelia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 9:06 am
gp2.0 wrote:
I'm not a professional, but I can't think of a good reason why to tell a kid that someone was niftar of an illness if it isn't true. Mind explaining?

OP didn't say her DD's teacher was one of those from the accident. I assume sourstix meant only to say that if it's actually true.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 9:07 am
Tell your child non-graphically what happened. Why say illness? Car crashes are not unheard of. It's also an opening to discuss car safety and seatbelts. (Don't blame the victim, even if any of them weren't wearing seatbelts or doing something not safe, it's not your place, and shouldn't be mentioned.)
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 9:24 am
When I was in high school a teacher was nifter, she was older and died of "natural" causes.
the school brought in grief counselors to discuss it with the girls.

My kids were very close to someone who died recently of a long illness. We got guidance from Chai lifeline on what to tell them. they walked us through how to talk about it and explain it. It was very helpful. My kids are 9 and under and they moved on fairly quickly and took it pretty much at face value.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 9:11 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Did this happen during school? Was it addressed? Who would the school normally call in for such situations? Maybe you can contact him/her.


thats the thing, she was her teacher. untill this summer. then it happened, she is not in contact with her friends. they are in different day camps or camps. I dont know who to contact. she talks about death sometimes since. but otherwise she is acting as if nothing happened
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 13 2015, 11:34 pm
amother wrote:
thats the thing, she was her teacher. untill this summer. then it happened, she is not in contact with her friends. they are in different day camps or camps. I dont know who to contact. she talks about death sometimes since. but otherwise she is acting as if nothing happened


Go ahead and call Chai Lifeline and tell them all of this. They can give you guidance; they established their crisis division to help with things like this. A friend called for help with talking to her kids about a recent death, and they helped her a lot.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Fri, Aug 14 2015, 7:58 am
You can also call ohel just saw they have trauma services.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 17 2015, 1:01 pm
My husband lost a more, and later a classmate. In his times, nothing was done. Parents discussed or not...
Your child should know your are there.
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milkshake




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 17 2015, 1:59 pm
Ruchel wrote:
My husband lost a more


?
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