2 under 14 months | Imamother

amother

Indigo

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 5:44 pm

I am due any day and really panicking recently about how I'm gonna manage to run a house and be a sane mother and wife with two kids so close together. I plan on working also as we need the money but bh my dh does help out around the house and with my dd whenever he can but he's out all day so it's still mostly my forte.
Looking for any tips on how to keep it all together once the baby comes imyh and I have to figure out how to manage with two so young and so dependant. Dd isn't even walking yet! How do I sit and nurse if she's gonna be wrecking the house? She's too young to even read a book with me for an extended period of time like nursing takes.
All tips appreciated! Thanks!

amother

Jade

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 6:24 pm

#1- HUGS!!!

#2 - You can do it!!

#3 - It passes quite quickly.

I had 3 under 3, so I'm not just shooting blanks.

Regarding nursing: is there a safe place to keep the older child while you nurse? High chair, booster, stroller... right next to you with a book, snack, or bottle on her tray or lap. If she's crawling around near your feet that could work if she's not a very mischievous troublemaker. She will probably like sticking close to you, so be prepared to shield baby's head at all times.

If you'll be working, you'll need to keep dinner and housework to a minimum . Could you find a sitter who would come to your house and do some light housework when the kids are napping? I did that one year and it was a sanity saver.

Bshaa tova!!!

sourstix

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 7:09 pm

my motherinlaw had 2 under 14 months I dont know how she did it. aparently she managed. and who says you have to manage. just keep your head above the water. you willl be fine. I see some good advice here I will let that be of help.

Sake

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 8:10 pm

You'll be so fine! Love multiplies and oddly so do your hands and arms and time etc. I found my 14mos apart easier than my 18 mos apart because the 14mos is not so able bodied and opinionated yet lol You will amaze yourself mama Smile

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 8:28 pm

If she won't sit very long with a book, try a new toy, and/or put away some of the toys she likes and bring them out in a few weeks so it feels new to her...
I found that giving the older child/children something a gift or treat "from the baby" when they first meet, helps with the jealousy...from experience...
I had 6 under 7
my last 2 are 13 months apart

amother

Crimson

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 8:36 pm

Btdt as well.
It is hard in the beginning-until six months.
It is normal that it is hard.
It is okay to cry.
It will get easier with time.
Even if you think you can, don't do more than the bare minimum for at least 6 weeks. If you have extra time, sleep and take care of yourself.
If you use your energy on housework, you may become impatient with the babies.
All of the above is colored by my experience. It may not be the same for you, but know that if it is a bit too hard sometimes, tomorrow is a chance to start afresh.

Bsha Tova!

belovedaz

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 10:14 pm

Thanks! Can anyone recommend a toy that cud keep her busy cuz normally each toy is good for like two min before she's back to emptying cabinets and turning the place upside down...

amother

White

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 10:22 pm

I also had 2 under 14 months. My older son didn't start walking until my younger one was about 2 months old!

1. Firstly, when the older one is so young, there is usually no jealousy and they are excited to have another one, so that makes it easier.

2. The first few months are challenging. My older one liked books and I would read to him while I nursed. As the previous poster mentioned, I would try a toy that you can play with him and give him some attention while you nurse.

3. There were definitely certain times of day where I felt I wasn't managing. So we had some periods with both kids screaming, but we got through it. No one will starve and everyone will be fine, just make sure your house if well child-proofed. It's ok to have simpler meals and if the house is not always spotless.

4. I know if sounds far away, but my kids are now a year older and they are really good friends and love each other. I look at how close they are now, and think how those difficult first few months were really worth it!

mamita

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 10:50 pm

I also had 6 under the age of 6 boruch Hashem . There is so much good advice here. Just want to add that when you choose a place to nurse make sure its childproof and has access to wreck only the amount you can handle. (Remember the housework second place advice), so that when she finds you boring she won't place herself in danger and you can continue nursing calmly. I try to close all doors so toddler/crawler can't disappear on me.
Don't just choose a safe place for dd , make sure its also a comfy nursing place for yourself.
You won't believe what you can accomplish momma!

amother

Mauve

Sun, Aug 16 2015, 11:12 pm

If you will be out working, it will be easier and most cost efficient to have a babysitter in your own home watching your two kids. That way you don't have to dress or bundle them up and take them out. Also she can sweep the floor and fold some laundry possibly. This might be what keeps you sane. Good luck!

chavs

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 9:03 am

I'm please gd gonna be having two under 15 months soon and am planning on the littlest one to live in the sling for the first few months. I have two older ones at home as well and homeschool and when I had my current little one he spent most of his time in the sling which was a life saver for everyone.
I don't do any cleaning or cooking when I have a little one if I can help it but leave it to my husband. If you can afford a cleaner, that would probably be good!

youngishbear

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 9:15 am

amother wrote:

This.

A Jewish babysitter can also slide food into the oven at a preset time, if you've prepared chicken and potatoes etc. in the fridge. Some are even willing to do the food prep, so discuss it beforehand.

I second the advice to put your naps and meals first, housework second for the first two months for sure. I've heard advice to keep toys in a kitchen cabinet, so the toddler's need to unpack can be fulfilled in a safe way (though I admit my toddlers enjoy the fleishig pots infinitely more...) Childproof and lock drawers, cabinets, and even the fridge as much as possible to avoid complete chaos, but accept that some degree of disarray will be your lot for the next six months. (Then when baby is six months she will join the party and add to the mess, too...)
Bshaah tovah!

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 10:54 am

loving all the advice I am do in 2 months my daughter will be 12 to 13 months then and my husband is starting college now so don't know how I will manage but at least I don't need to work.

happyfaces

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 11:08 am

I had 2 under 12.5 months. Im not gona say its easy! its harder then twins in a way. Get as much help as you can. Here is what I did: had someone keep my 12 m old till baby was 4 week. Took a night nurse so I can sleep and take care of 12 m old during the day. Keep baby in a swing on the table so toddler can't get to him/her. Also if both cry need your att give pacifier or bottel to baby maybe a projecter mobile that keeps them quite for a few till your done giving att for toddler. Also if your going out to work it wouldn't be that hard since youll air out a littel.

Louds of luck and remember when they get a littel older theyll best buddy's! Youll be so glad there close in age!!!

amother

Tan

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 11:18 am

I had my third when my oldest was 2.3 months (all three boys!) First two 14 months apart and #2 and #3 were 13 months apart.

Hashem will give you the Koach you need to manage....Looking back I don't know how I got through it but somehow I did and now they are 7,6, and 5 and have eachother for company!

The one thing that saved me was having a babysitter in the house when I went out to work. She was able to keep the place clean and made sure I came home to happy babies.

Working is actually a good thing as it let me step out of the house for a few hours a day . Otherwise I don't think I would have seen the light of day for 2 years. (My toddlers were late walkers so I had lots of schlepping to do)

So hugs and may Hashem give you the strength you need to get to the point where you look back and say " Wow they are all grown up" ( I still meet some of my Parents old freinds who say "how are the babies doing?? "

zigi

Mon, Aug 17 2015, 12:31 pm

I spent a lot of time on the floor nursing and playing with the older baby. when the baby napped I was with the older baby. bh the kids are a lot older now. It was similar to 18 months apart. in a way its easier. I had them on the same schedule. I carried one in the infant seat and then the other down the stairs. dh was in school. it was a blur at least for the first 6 months. bh for the baby swing! I also went to the park and mommy and mes.