DS squeezing my chest

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 7:56 pm

My ds who's a very smart 3 year old has started randomly squeezing my chest the past few days.

I've tried explaining that I don't like that and it's mommy's private part, "no touching", but he just keeps doing it as if to bother me.

I'm assuming I should totally ignore it and maybe he'll stop but on the one hand I find it almost impossible bc my natural reaction is a very frustrated and irritated one (I feel so violated) and on another note he's the type of kid who will just remember it and keep doing it even if I don't react.

What are my options to get him to stop? What would a psychologist suggest? And tips?

sourstix

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 8:07 pm

firstly he is very young. he has no idea what hes doing. just keep saying no, and move his hand away. if that doesnt work I would pick him up and put in another room where he doesnt see you and he forgets. or try to do like with a 2 yr old redirect him to something else. ask him if there is a book he wants you read to him get him distracted with something else. I think it might work.

sourstix

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 8:08 pm

please get a psychologist out of this. unless he is doing this ALL day. and no amount of distraction and no will help. psychologist are ment for real complicated issues.

LiLIsraeli

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 8:10 pm

I agree with sourstix, just ignore it and redirect him. He's getting attention for it, so he keeps doing it. Stop calling attention to the behavior, try to distract him with something else, and if he keeps doing it, say something like "You keep doing things that I don't like. I'm going to have to stop playing with you now until you are ready to keep your hands to yourself." And try again in a few minutes.

imasinger

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 8:31 pm

Is he doing it at times when you are involved with giving him positive attention and playtime, or is it at times when you are focused on something else?

If it seems to be an attention seeking behavior, you might want to offer him a more acceptable alternative ("If you want Mommy to pay attention to you, say 'Excuse me, please, Mommy'".) Then, be sure to reward him with immediate attention and praise every time he does it.

If you see him with that gleam in his eye, cross your arms and lift an eyebrow. If you don't see him and he squeezes you, turn your back to him and don't say anything for a few moments. Then, prompt, "Ex..." and wait. When he says the desired phrase, praise him and attend to him right away again.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 9:17 pm

Thanks ladies for the advice. I'll bzh give them a try and yes I really need to give him more attention when he behaves and not really react when he does this.

I'm nursing my dd but we've pretty much weaned except for bedtime and I wait for my ds to go to bed first so he doesn't see it. But he does know that I feed her. I wonder why this behavior just started the past few days instead of while I was still nursing her more often.

Lalu

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 4:58 pm

Your last response was most likely the reason why your son is interested in your chest at this point. He is young enough to remember the feeling of breast feeding and how close he was to you. This behavior is all very normal. And this is from a Child Psychologist Smile

Please do not worry - he will cease this behavior and maybe pick it up again when you are nursing other babies (BH) in the future Smile

justforfun87

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 5:29 pm

My three year old has been doing this as well, asking to nurse when he sees his little sister nursing.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Aug 23 2015, 7:30 am

Oy I hope he's not scarred from this. He def was weaned earlier than he wanted to.. So that would be an oral fixation according to Freud right?! And now he's struggling (power control) with toilet training... So that could lead to an*l fixation (G-d forbid).
Oh dear, mothers guilt!

Iymnok

Sun, Aug 23 2015, 7:58 am

That hurts mommy.
No hurting other people.
-keep the private part language out, it may just make him more interested.