Sheitel before the chuppah?

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 10:28 pm

My husband's family's minhag is to cover after the chuppah. I covered before because once you're covering... what's the difference?

(I did keep some hair out just because it really bothered me to have to wear a sheitel to my wedding. Though truth to be told, Shevy's $2k sheitel holds style a lot better than my natural thin hair ever would have!!)

cnc

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 10:30 pm

I forgot to mention that my Minhag is to put on a sheitel after the chuppah so it was just easier to put it on for the whole thing instead of being busy with it during the wedding.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 10:48 pm

Israeli Ashkenazi chareidim do. My Washington Heights cousins did too, but their parents and grandparents didn't.

Notsobusy

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 11:01 pm

I wore a sheitel before my chuppah. It was something my grandmother cared very much about and it really bothered her when any of my cousins didn't do it. She would never say anything to the kallah, but she mentioned other times how strongly she felt about it, without talking about anyone specific. She was a very special person and I felt very close to her. I knew she would never say anything to me about it if I didn't wear the sheitel before the chuppah, but I didn't want to hurt my grandmother by my wedding.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Aug 20 2015, 11:30 pm

I did. I was given a choice of a sheital or a big white cap completely covering my hair. When does the sheital normally go on?

ra_mom

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 12:55 am

amother wrote:

Who does this?

People who
1. hold that the marriage is solidified under the chuppah and as soon as their veil is removed their hair has to already be covered
2. hold that the marriage is solidified after the yichud room but do not want to bother with stressful change over midway through the wedding.

Personally, I didn't have to cover my hair until the next morning, and my hair was in an updo thought-out the wedding.

3mitzvos

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 1:42 am

I did, as per the request of the mesader kedushin (Israeli Litvish charedi)

finallyamommy

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 8:30 am

My mesader kiddushin wanted me to wear a sheitel for the whole wedding, but we convinced him not to - I was a pretty new BT, it would have been weird for my family, I didn't want the discomfort of wearing this new unfamiliar thing while dancing with everyone - so he relented and said I should just keep the veil on the whole time and start covering the first time I go out in public after the wedding - I.e. not the next morning, because my wedding was on a Friday morning, so DH and I went home and I changed out of my wedding dress and covered my hair before the Shabbos sheva brachos that night.

Chayalle

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 9:17 am

My Euoropean cousins told me that it's very accepted in their community, and the Rav won't be mesader kiddushin if the Kallah isn't wearing a sheitel. My younger sister told me that the Rav who taught Halacha in her seminary discussed this and felt very strongly that it should be done. She always thought she'd do it too - until she married a boy whose family minhag was otherwise.

I actually didn't wear a sheitel to my wedding for this reason - DH's grandfather was a Rav and he said it wasn't done in his hometown of Brisk, so I followed that minhag.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 9:41 am

I did--Chofetz Chaim does. (anon b/c my sn may give me away). It was something I was aware of beforehand so no big deal

amother

Natural

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 11:24 am

Thank you for your replies. So from what I see it's only done in some Litvish circles. Not Lubavitch, for example.

MyKidsRQte

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 4:12 pm

I did it and my girls did it mostly out of practicality.

This way we didnt have to bother with it after the chuppah!

sky

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 4:27 pm

My DH is yekke - his family says before.

My parents say after the chuppah, but before dancing and pictures (some who do this are strict about it and do not allow before chuppah)

It was just easier to do it before

miami85

Fri, Aug 21 2015, 5:26 pm

I wore a shaitel at my wedding, and I used a well known person who did my shaitel the day of the wedding she said that she would go to chassidish weddings "once before the wedding to do the hair and then again after the chuppah to do the shaitel"

IMO, it was great. My hair is really annoying and fluffy, I was able to just wash it and put in a pony tail the day of the wedding--it was great.

amother

Copper

Sat, Aug 22 2015, 2:10 pm

Not my first wedding; it was not my minhag.
Yes my second wedding even though I did not cover my hair for most of my divorced years.
The same family Rabbi who told me of a heter to uncover my hair after my divorce told me that since it was preferable to have had my hair covered during my divorced years, I should really cover it, at least, from the beginning of my 2nd wedding.
I thought that was interesting.

BrachaBatya

Sat, Aug 22 2015, 9:14 pm

Kind of off topic, but when I first glanced at this thread title, for a second it registered in my mind as "no shtuppa till chuppah!" LOL!

November

Sat, Aug 22 2015, 10:58 pm

BrachaBatya wrote:

Kind of off topic, but when I first glanced at this thread title, for a second it registered in my mind as "no shtuppa till chuppah!" LOL!

Lol!

Ruchel

Wed, Aug 26 2015, 7:14 am

Minhag Europa is covering after. One has to be careful if takin this on, to not do it lack c'v our ancestors were lacking.