5 year old doesn't talk to teachers-therapist?

yo'ma

Tue, Aug 25 2015, 7:17 pm

My 5 year old talks to pretty much everyone except any of his teachers or staff in his school. He doesn't tell me why and he just smiles when I ask him. This is not his first year in school and he likes it. He doesn't even shake his head yes or no. He had a birthday party in school and when the teacher asked him a question (this was when I was out of the room for a minute) he of course didn't answer, so she told him to tell his friend and his friend gave the answer. They said that that was the first and only time that worked.

My 10 year old also never spoke to his teachers at that age and slowly started in 1st grade. Now that he's in 5th grade, he does, but he's still a bit quiet, especially around his teachers. It's not something I was really worried about, but the school is insisting that we take him to a therapist to see what's wrong. My 10 year old was in a different school at that age. We kind of have to, but what do you think? Do you think they're thinking too much into it? I know it's frustrating and hard for the teachers.

I had a meeting with his teachers and head awhile back and still didn't do anything about it, so she called today to see what's going on. When my ds came home from school today, I told him that Morah Rutie said that if he doesn't talk, he can't go to school. He paused, and then said, YAY!! Oops, I think I made a mistake saying that to him Smile

. He's going and just because he said yay doesn't mean he doesn't like it.

amother

Salmon

Tue, Aug 25 2015, 7:36 pm

It's a form of selective mutism although your sons does not sounds at all severe as some kids don't speak to kids or teachers in school. Please don't try to force him to talk, because it will most likely backfire and make it even harder for him to come out of his shell - you need a therapist with experience in helping kids with selective mutism. It is a good idea to say - tell you friend and then you're friend can tell me though - because that's often a start - and if she hears him telling his friend, she can respond to what she heard. hope this makes sense.

amother

Green

Tue, Aug 25 2015, 10:57 pm

My son had this issue when he was in 4-year-old playgroup. He was shy with other kids but did speak, but did not speak to the teachers. The teacher advised me to speak with an "expert" about this possible selective mutism, which I did, but she was not at all helpful. He gradually became more comfortable as the year went along and started talking to the teachers. By the end of the year they told me he was like a different child! A similar pattern has repeated itself every school year since then. He is very quiet in class (hesitant to raise his hand, etc) at the beginning of the year, and it takes him until December or so to become comfortable enough to let his personality show. He's now entering 3rd grade, and I'm hoping that as he matures he'll warm up quicker, but I let the teachers know at the beginning of the year that this is his pattern.

In your case, particularly because you have an older son who was similar, I wouldn't be terribly concerned. But if the school is insisting that he see someone, you probably have to do it to show that you're working with them--and maybe he/she will even have some insights that will help him warm up more quickly. Good luck!