Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children
Why is it so hard to find a sitter here?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 11:56 am
We moved almost a year ago. We had a good network of sitters in the old place. We had several regulars we could call as needed, and we had enough people to call that we always found someone in the end. They were all excellent.
In our new town, it's been such a struggle. There are so few sitters, and quite a few of them have canceled last minute or stood us up. It seems the teens and college kids in this area just don't seem to do sitting. I only have one person to call, and if she's not available, I'm out of luck. I know it's not us. All the other moms have the same problem. I already don't like the new town so much for many reasons, and this just makes it so much worse, because now I can't even go out and do anything enjoyable because I can never find a sitter, and every emergency that crops up is 100x more stressful because there are no sitters. Are some places just harder to find sitters than others?
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 11:59 am
For sure. Girls around here are no longer interested in babysitting and many moms don't allow it.
Back to top

OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 12:12 pm
Some daycare workers do freelance babysitting in their off hours. You could try to find someone at your kids' daycare or at the daycare of a friend's kid (if yours aren't at daycare).
Back to top

grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 12:16 pm
When I still needed sitters I found that only girls from the lower income families who also had no social lives were available. They were wonderful baby-sitters.

Good luck.
Back to top

Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 12:37 pm
If you live in an area where there are lots of young people needing sitters, and fewer older families with available sitters, you will have a hard time finding one.

I live in such an area, with two teenage DD's. They have no interest in being substitute Moms on a nightly basis. So, for example, if they said yes on a Sunday night, it's likely to be no on Monday night...and so on.
Back to top

Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:06 pm
The whole thing flummoxes me, too.

Truthfully, I blame the parents.

When girls start babysitting, usually at the age of 12 or so, they need a *lot* of parental involvement in the whole enterprise. They need coaching in how to handle parents; how to handle kids; how to negotiate pay. They often need transportation to and/or from the babysitting job. They need encouragement when they're starting out with low pay and difficult kids.

I can't tell you how many parents I've spoken to over the years who say they're too busy for that kind of thing -- they'd rather just give their daughters money for whatever they need.

Except in unusual circumstances, I find that to be negligent parenting -- or at least stupid parenting.

Kids who don't have the opportunity to learn about the world of work when they're young will likely have to do so when they're older. That's not necessarily the end of the world, but why wait until you're in a job that really counts (either professionally or for parnosseh) to learn all those little lessons.

And, of course, kids who never work for $10 per hour never learn to think of money that way: they see a $60 skirt as a bargain compared to an $80 skirt -- not as six hours of babysitting a screaming toddler and a shrieking baby.

My girls babysat through HS and continue to do so. Each one has purchased a car for cash and fitted it with carseats and boosters in order to offer transportation services as well as regular babysitting. One DD even snagged a used Bugaboo stroller on Craigslist. They pay for their own phones, insurance, travel, clothes, and whatnot.

In the beginning, it was a lot of work for me. They were clueless about marketing themselves as well as actually caring for children. I spent a lot of evenings giving advice over the phone or picking someone up at midnight from a job.

I've heard all the excuses for why parents don't encourage their DDs to babysit, but none of them hold water.

I don't get it, either, OP! Hatzlacha in finding a few good babysitters!
Back to top

perquacky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:13 pm
We have a local Facebook group where people who are looking for babysitters post their requests, and girls (or boys) looking for jobs post when they're available.

Maybe you can look into setting something like that up for your neighborhood.
Back to top

Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:15 pm
Fox, my dd babysits a lot, and a lot of what you said is true. But I have never and would never, drive her to her babysitting job. Around here that is the employer's problem, not mine. I would maybe do it as a favor for my sibling, but that's it.
I do enough driving for school play practice, studying for tests, getting together for projects etc. I don't have extra time to drive for babysitting jobs. Especially when you factor in all the parents who say they'll be home by a specific time and then come home an hour later. I won't go to sleep until she's home, but at least I can wait up in bed, not dressed and having to go pick her up.
Back to top

OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:31 pm
Parents don't need an excuse for why their daughters don't babysit. Not all girls are suited to it or want to do it. There are plenty of other ways to experience work and learn the value of money.
Back to top

amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:36 pm
Op here. The funny thing is, there is a good mix of families here. Lots of young, but even more older with teens and college age. There is no lack of kids who can do this. If the sitter can't drive, one of us takes care of that. We have a local FB group, its like 95% parents looking and 5% sitters available. And the parent posts go largely unanswered. It's like it's just not a thing here. And I don't need sitters THAT often. Maybe once a month planned plus the occasional emergency/other unusual unplanned circumstance. But the craziness I have to go through each time is so stressful and disheartening. This is a more affluent place than where I was before. Maybe the kids here are just not encouraged to earn their own pocket money.
Back to top

animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 1:57 pm
I find that lately, a lot of the high school girls really don't have time, and will only take sits where they know the kids will be asleep so they can study. They have commitments to extracurriculars and prep for those extracurriculars, mandatory chesed hours, and they often don't get home until past six or later. They are encouraged to take a lot of college credit courses, and they have a lot of work.

As our communities get bigger, there are also more and more simchos to cover. Meanwhile, it seems that all school events that parents need to go to take place at 7:00 or 7:30, aka bedtime. I would gladly start later and stay up later to be able to tell a sitter, "They'll be asleep when you come." Also, lower schools should know not to schedule events while the older kids are taking end of the semester exams, and all parents would benefit from having the calendars of the local high schools to know about crunch times and chagigas when scheduling. I've had to get a sitter for my own kids while my own high schooler studies.

Your best shot is going to be the daughter of friends of yours, or an older sister of one of your kids' friends. If they already know your child, they are more likely to go out of their way for you.
Back to top

Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 3:08 pm
glutenless wrote:
I have never and would never, drive her to her babysitting job. Around here that is the employer's problem, not mine. I would maybe do it as a favor for my sibling, but that's it.


It's also the practice in my neck of the woods -- at least, transportation home is generally assumed to be the responsibility of the employer.

However, two of my girls were able to break into the babysitting biz by sitting for "single" parents (one was literally single; the other's DH traveled for business most weeks). Once they had a satisfied client who normally had trouble finding a sitter because of the transportation issue, lots of lucrative offers came in. So it was really an investment on my part.

The mother whose DH traveled has since taken DD to Florida a couple times to help out -- including upgrading her to first class on one occasion.

OOT, I guess I'm being a bit strident because I have a handful of RL friends who constantly kvetch about their DDs spending habits as well as the fact that the DDs seem unable and/or unwilling to contribute to the cost of seminary, college, clothes, traveling for shidduchim, or whatever. Yet they were the ones who told me I was crazy for doing whatever it took to help my DDs build their babysitting business.

If a girl can find an entry-level job that suits her better, that's great! Not everyone can or should babysit. But staying home and relying on your parents for every nickel becomes pretty unpleasant for most young women.
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 3:49 pm
Have you asked any teenage or college age boys? My husband did a lot of babysitting in high school.
Back to top

happyfaces




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 8:40 pm
Op I feel for you! Im In the same boat. There must be something that can be done! A mother should be able to go out at night when she has to. The second I find out from a simcha I start calling anyone and everyone. Lots of time I had to take turns with dh. This was by a close simcha were we both needed to attend full time!

Louds of luck!!!
Back to top

dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 26 2015, 9:59 pm
You can always try care.com
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Is it hard?
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:14 pm View last post
Now he's not cooperating at sitter either!
by amother
20 Wed, Feb 28 2024, 12:58 am View last post
Decluttering is hard for me , can you help?
by amother
10 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 5:45 am View last post
It’s so hard to cover my legs!!
by amother
4 Sun, Feb 11 2024, 8:57 pm View last post
Are summer day camps as hard to get into as playgroups?
by amother
1 Sat, Feb 03 2024, 11:05 pm View last post