why are rebbes doing this?!

rowo

Sat, Sep 05 2015, 8:34 am

Can't see what people are getting so worked up about.
I think it's great that teachers are looking at a child holistically and teaching the kids that in order to function optimally and be able to concentrate and be in a good mood you need a proper nights sleep.
My oldest is 8 and we try to have all the kids in bed by 7:30, they read or listen to story CDs until they fall asleep. Usually it's the 8 yo who falls asleep the first. He has full, active days and he's tired by the end of the day. He often wakes up at 6, but that's just his body. He either reads in bed or goes to hang out with my husband while he's learning downstairs until it's time for breakfast.
This bedtime does not interfere with extra curricular activities either. The 8 yo and 6 yo each do one after school activity. School finishes at 4 and they do it straight after school. I take extra snacks and on those nights dinner is usually at 6 instead of 5:30.
After dinner we do bath/shower time and homework.
My kids get time to relax and play when they come home until dinner and from after their shower until bed.

Even if they aren't ready for sleep, the relaxing, down time in bed I think is also important.

mommy3b2c

Sat, Sep 05 2015, 9:26 pm

Barbara wrote:

You're a teacher, right? So, do you make sure all your students know that things on the homework sheet are optional? I certainly wish I had known that, but I seem to recall my kid being required to do what's on the homework sheet. Which is where the bedtime is. Not to mention all the people talking about their kids checking it off.

Well I can personally confirm that I often don't fill it out, or fill out a different time and so far no one has kicked me out of school or come down to my house to put the kids to sleep. Big shocker.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 8:10 am

imasoftov wrote:

What happens if the kid isn't finished with the other homework by the time the homework-bedtime arrives? Is the mother supposed to take the child to King Solomon to be cut in half so each of the children can do one part of the homework?

Nothing happens. I will repeat. Nothing happens. I will repeat. Nothing happens.

SRS

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 8:59 am

mommy2b2c wrote:

I am a firm believer that schools are shooting themselves in the foot in the long term in matters of establishing authority over education when they give "homework" that cannot be reasonably completed and when they establish rules and then do not enforce them.

When it comes to school rules, I am a firm believer that less is more.

This bedtime exercise is an intrusion into home life and is a silly exercise for the school because it implies to young children that the rules are optional since every family will have times when the home cannot have the student adhere to it.

morah

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 9:32 am

Barbara wrote:

I teach high school. Bedtime is not relevant at that age. Well, it is, but the discussion tends to revolve around how high schools should probably have a later start time to accommodate the teenage body clock. Also, at this age, parents hl(hopefully) are not so involved in homework. Lastly, yes, sometimes parts of assignments are bonus/optional. Look, I don't see much wisdom in the approach under discussion here for a variety of reasons. But people are wringing their hands like it's the internet asifa all over again, when that's hardly the case.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 9:46 am

SRS wrote:

But how many times do I have to explain that it is not a school rule. It comes from each teacher individually and it is not homework but an incentive for children to go to sleep on time. My sons homework sheet also has the following things to check off:

-Played nicely with my siblings
-Said thank you to mommy for supper

Maybe I should get all hysterical. How dare they get involved in my home life? I don't WANT my kids to play nicely. Who are they to tell my kids to get along? And furthermore, if they don't play nicely, I am re enforcing that homework is optional.

That is how silly you all sound.

Some of you decided that this bed time chart given by rebbes is amazing proof of how Hareidi rabbeim try to control parents lives. You were proven wrong. Just admit it and move on.

For the record, my kids do not go to a haredi school if haredi means what is described on this website. Most people have a tv. Internet is not banned. Everyone has a smart phone. Women all drive. No dress code for the moms. Fathers are mostly college graduates. Fathers all work. (Mostly upper middle class-wealthy.) etc... Nobody is controlling us or any aspect of our life.

mommyla

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 1:11 pm

morah wrote:

Doesn't say anything about a requirement. It's on the sheet. She fills it out. I'd like to know what happens if she forgets to fill it out or decides she doesn't want to at all. Anyway, I know you're 3 hours behind me, so I won't be able to reply again till after Shabbos Smile

I'm the one who wrote the quoted post. There is absolutely no requirement to do this. Nothing will happen if I don't. I'm assuming that if I regularly fill out that my son went to bed at 9:30 and he is regularly a behavioral disaster, the rebbi may say something about it, but DS is one of those who really needs his sleep so I wouldn't know Smile

Anyway, everyone is overreacting about this. Nothing to do with rebbeim trying to control our lives. Heck, a couple of pages ago someone posted this:

lymnok wrote:

When my father was in 1st grade he had the 7:30 club. In bed by 7:30pm, breakfast and dressed by 7:30am. Those who did- with a note from their mother got to hold the flag for the pledge of Allegiance.
Public school, early 60's.

Same thing. No evil rebbeim controlling lives. Nobody is demanding that bedtime be filled in, even the rebbi himself said at back-to-school night (after this thread was started) that it's a suggestion to help the boys be able to concentrate and learn well.

ETA: and yes, this particular DS does have extracurricular activities that may or may not be school-endorsed, and nobody has said a word about it. You make it work time-wise, even if it means scheduling lessons on Fridays or picking up from school instead of sending him on the bus.

anonimouse

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 5:48 pm

I love when the Rebbes do this!

To answer the original question of the post, they do it to encourage the kids to go to sleep at night!

I had a talk with one of my kids' Rebbes about this, because he told the kids a later time than my son was already going to bed. (so, of course, my son thought that he could stay up later! But the Rebbe said I don't have to go to sleep until 8:00!)
The Rebbe thought it was a hoot! He told me that he doesn't care exactly what time the kids go to sleep, he's just trying to help parents out by encouraging kids to go to bed on time.

It's meant to help mothers, not stress us out.

(I also love when they do kibbud horim charts, btw)

sourstix

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 8:42 pm

hi :wave :wave op here. no his rebbe didnt say he would have a consenquence. he did give a homework sheet, and right now the only homework is being in bed 7:45. he recommended it. obviously if he goes into bed a little later nothing will happen. its probably an encouragement for the child. it puts pressure on me because I am a very laid back type. and the summer was so laid back its hard for me to go into that early routine. he stayed home all summer so I had late hours like 9ish. new things are hard for me. I dont even think its encouraging bec he didnt bring it in one day and he didnt get a consenquence. but his rebbe wanted to see it the next day. he didnt give them a prize or anything. and my ds works in that way. so I will let him get into bed a drop later bec its just recommended and he does fine going to sleep later then 8. I just need to encourage him with reading if hes in by that time. no noone is micromanaging he suggested it and asked to fill in the time he goes in every night.

groisamomma

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 9:59 pm

For those of you who are upset about the homework coinciding with bedtime: If it takes any of my kids longer than 20 mins or so to do homework they close it and I write on the homework sheet, "DD did homework for X amount of time(15 or 20, whatever it was that night.) I stopped her so that she had time to play. Thank you!" I've only ever gotten one comment from a teacher (who claimed I spoiled dd...little wonder I had her switched out of that class after several nasty comments about my parenting).

This whole thread is too general. It's not the school, but the individual teachers. Some are simply being helpful and some are really controlling.

Bitachon101

Sun, Sep 06 2015, 10:24 pm

I get that the Rebbe wants to help and can appreciate that as I did teach at some point in my life.
However, I am time impaired (and try soooooooooo hard to work around it and keep a schedule) and it is so hard for me to do things by times expected by others.
I often don't have supper ready before 7:30... I try but it doesn't happen, and if the kids are filthy I need to bathe them even if its late.... So I can understand the frustration of the pressure on OP.
Not that it's mandatory but its an added pressure to an already busy lifestyle for a laid back (and in my case time delayed) individual.

Yes my kids need sleep but they are fine if its after 7:45 (and they are a lot younger than 7!)