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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
How inappropriate is it for the bus driver to say this?



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amother
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Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:42 pm
I have 4 elementary school girls, today was the first day of school. Each one told me separately that the male bus driver told them that in the summer someone left her underwear on the bus, and they should make sure to take all body parts and underwear with them. When my 8th grader got off the bus he asked if she was sure she had her underwear.

To me it seems highly inappropriate and I feel like I should say something to someone. I'm just trying to figure out if in the secular world this would be considered acceptable, and maybe he just doesn't realize that in our culture it's considered inappropriate. I would think it would be inappropriate in any culture, but in today's world you never know.

If you agree that it was inappropriate, who should I call, the school, the bus company or should I speak to him directly?


Last edited by amother on Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:43 pm
Extremely inappropriate! Call the bus company.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:50 pm
Inappropriate when he says it to an adult Extremely inappropriate, bordering on creepy when telling it to an eighth grader.

Call the bus company.
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Sadie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:50 pm
Not appropriate in secular culture! Report!
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amother
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Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 6:56 pm
Thanks everyone, that was my first instinct, but then I couldn't decide.

I changed to amother, because I think I'm going to call the school and the bus company and in case anyone from the school is on here I don't want to out myself.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 7:27 pm
I would also inform the school to make sure the bus company doesn't use him again. And commend your children for telling you. Tell them it is highly inappropriate for an adult to ever ask a question like that.
I love how we always question whether we're overreacting to these things. Can you imagine yourself ever asking something like that to a young girl? No way!
I doubt this man would have asked this in the presence of an adult. He should not be allowed to work around children.
I personally would go so far to ask the bus company his name and check the so registry. Couldn't hurt.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 7:54 pm
WhatFor wrote:
I would also inform the school to make sure the bus company doesn't use him again. And commend your children for telling you. Tell them it is highly inappropriate for an adult to ever ask a question like that.
I love how we always question whether we're overreacting to these things. Can you imagine yourself ever asking something like that to a young girl? No way!
I doubt this man would have asked this in the presence of an adult. He should not be allowed to work around children.
I personally would go so far to ask the bus company his name and check the so registry. Couldn't hurt.


Agree
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tweety1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:03 pm
Report! NOW!
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amother
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Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:21 pm
I discussed this again with my dds, because I realized I wasn't strong enough when I told them that what he said was wrong. Interestingly enough, one of them told me that he had been a bus driver in their school last year but he was fired during the year for being mean to girls. I wonder if she heard "mean" but he was really being inappropriate. I also wonder if maybe he's working for a different bus company now and the school doesn't know yet that he's back.

I will definitely call the school and the bus company in the morning.
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Happy18




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:37 pm
I wouldn't send them on the bus with him again. If you can drive them yourself tomorrow.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:44 pm
He's grooming, starting out with a story. The next step would be suggesting underwear inspections. It's good that the OP called.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:53 pm
wow so inappropriate! dont they do background checks on these buses? I am so horrified that all these sick people dont realize yet that people wont go for this. and they will lose their job and will be reported. arent they ashamed of themselves? I am just so upset. all these sick people out there if there is anyone here, which I hope not and if you are then this is for you, know that we will not tolerate this behavior get yourself to a professional and stop abusing children. its not worth it for you.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 8:59 pm
Yeah, that is bad. A professional would say "please make sure you have all your belongings, I find so much stuff left behind at the end of the day!" And then to actually personally ask a girl again- just yuck. Take them to school yourself for the next few days till you confirm he's gone. And emphasize that this needs to be explicit on some sort of record. Background checks are great, but remember, they only work if there's something in the person's record! If they've managed to avoid detection or having anything committed to paper, even the best background check won't reveal anything.
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amother
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Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 9:02 pm
Honestly, if it was me, I would not even wait until the morning. If you wait until the morning, then he will be get the chance to drive the kids again. And its probably not the only school he drives for.

I was a teacher at a school for kids with autism, and the bus driver molested a little four year old autistic girl. she was high functioning enough to realize what happened and tell an adult. this bus driver started out speaking to her in same manner that you mentioned, and eventually would buy her balloons and presents.

Please call or email the head of the school now. Even though it is late, Im sure they would rather know about this now, before something Gd forbid happens!

would not send any of my kids, and I wouldn't let the other parents send their kids on the bus either until this is resolved. can you work out a carpool for tomorrow in the meantime?
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4everonadiet




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 9:04 pm
Are there no adult bus monitors on the school buses?
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 03 2015, 9:13 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
He's grooming, starting out with a story. The next step would be suggesting underwear inspections. It's good that the OP called.


This does sound like a logical explanation. Yuck.
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amother
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Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 10:28 am
I decided to send my girls on the bus today. Yesterday was their first day, it was a different route than previously and they didn't know who was on the bus with them, so I couldn't start calling parents. There are also very few older girls on the bus, so I thought it was important to have some older girls on the bus, who were aware of what was going on.

I called the school, they were horrified and said they would call the bus company and I should also call. I called the bus company, as soon as I repeated what he said the woman said "ooooooooh, let me transfer you to my manager". He got on the phone within seconds, asked me to repeat the story, he was very concerned and he said there was a camera on the bus, he will review the tapes today and get back to me today.

Hopefully this will all be resolved quickly. Thanks everyone for your advice.
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yaeli83




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 11:26 am
Very glad to hear that there is a camera on the bus. I don't know if they record sound, but hopefully seeing the driver interacting with the children will be enough evidence.
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mfb




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 04 2015, 2:38 pm
Hugs! Please make sure to keep on top of the bus company, and make sure something gets done.
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