Lakewood Girls Schools

amother

Denim

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 8:55 pm

Emotional wrote:

I didn't go to BY of 18th Avenue, but I was a neighbor of Rebbetzin Ziemba growing up, and I often babysat for her kids. I have trouble believing that she has such a narrow-minded shittah. She herself is married to a real estate lawyer. She's a warm friendly person who doesn't judge or look down on people. Please.
I'm sure that was the excuse she gave for not accepting your friend, maybe because the real reason would have hurt your friend's feelings.

I went to BY 18th Avenue so I also had a hard time believing it. But she had her secretary tell me (when I called for the millionth time since I hadn't heard from them - I was sure I was getting in since I went there) "Rebbitzen Ziemba doesn't think this is the right place for you." So I said, what does that mean? Why not? And she said, "Well, we're looking for more yeshivish people."

Exact quote.

Like I said, could be an excuse. But that was what she told me.

Emotional

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:03 pm

amother wrote:

I've noticed, since moving to Lakewood over 3 years ago, that the term "yeshivish" is so broad and subject to so many interpretations that 98% of Lakewood's Jewish (non-chassidish) population could probably fit under that umbrella term.
For whatever reason she didn't want to accept you. But I'm sure "yeshivish" wasn't the concern.
And I feel your pain. I have an ongoing struggle trying to get my son into school, and my oldest daughter is in 7th grade... next year we have to do the high-school dance...

Simple1

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:10 pm

amother wrote:

Dont know anything about the school. But yeshivish does not necessarily always refer to kollel. I think they're more often referring to people who are more sheltered, very tznius, and generally look yeshivish. Sometimes it could also mean simpler lifestyle and not so trendy.

Mama Bear

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:27 pm

This is mamish unbelievable to read... why the need for so many schools? There should be 4-5 large schools, each catering to a different crowd (working, learning, yeshivish, chasidish, balabatish)... it must be really interesting when the girls get together on the block or at a chasuneh, you can have 25 neighbors in 25 different schools...

Kiryas Yoel only has 3 girls' schools, and Williamsburg has about 10. I cant imagine 25-30 schools in one community!

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:40 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

I went to a small school, there were two parallel classes per grade, and that's what I was looking for when I applied to schools for my children. My daughters' school had two parallel classes, my sons' had only one class per grade. By now they both have three classes per grade and I see a huge difference. My older kids had a beautiful relationship with their principals, now there are multiple assistant principals in each school and they only really know your child well if there is a problem.

I would hate if there were only 4-5 schools for the whole town, that would mean at least 15 classes per grade, they would need one principal per grade or two. There wouldn't be a principal who knows your child well from k-8. There is one school in town that has about 8 classes per grade and it works well for the younger kids, but usually not for the older kids.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:43 pm

In order for a school to be successful in Lakewood the goal is that it has to be yeshivish the more yeshivish the more successful and I have seen it happen all the time that someone so normal and open minded opens up a school and all of a sudden they change and become so yeshivish minded that's what makes you successful in Lakewood. So even if you knew her in bp if you don't know her now then you can't claim it's not true she probably changed.

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 9:52 pm

amother wrote:

This is unfortunately, very sadly, true. And it's destroying our children. They blame it on the parent body, but most parents I've spoken to are not happy when their children's school suddenly becomes "frummer", if they were looking for "frummer" they would have sent their children to those schools to begin with.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:00 pm

A perfect example is rabbi benders school from far rockaway. His son opened up a yeshiva in Lakewood and it was supposed to be exactly the same he wasn't getting boys so he switched it to a yeshivish school and they teach Yiddish and now it's more sought after.

Sadly the parents are the problem because it's a twisted thing where the parents think if the school is not yeshivish it's not top and the parents make the schools crazy.

Emotional

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:02 pm

The problem is that the slightly more open minded schools, like Bnos Rivka, Bnos Penina, Ateres Tziporah - which are all perfectly wonderful, frum schools where any bas yisroel can thrive - are somehow "looked at" as second-class schools by those with an elitist mentality.
OP, the above schools I mentioned are fantastic schools with wonderful yeshivish hashkafos. I send my girls to one of them & I am very happy so far - it's our 4th year.
They might be a tad easier to get into then the schools discussed further up in the thread.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:07 pm

amother wrote:

Who are these parents then if the amothers on here are saying they dont want the schools like that?

amother

Mauve

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:12 pm

Trust me I have inside information if people would only know that it's their next door neighbor who called the school to say don't accept my neighbor into your school for x y or z reason. The schools never tell you why you are not accepted.

It's very sad but a lot of people in Lakewood have this attitude that they want to be better than their neighbors and they want to be exclusive.

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:14 pm

Emotional wrote:

The problem is that the slightly more open minded schools, like Bnos Rivka, Bnos Penina, Ateres Tziporah - which are all perfectly wonderful, frum schools where any bas yisroel can thrive - are somehow "looked at" as second-class schools by those with an elitist mentality.
[b]OP, the above schools I mentioned are fantastic schools with wonderful yeshivish hashkafos. I send my girls to one of them & I am very happy so far - it's our 4th year.
They might be a tad easier to get into then the schools discussed further up in the thread.

That's true - to the bolded. But how many people do you actually know with that elitist mentality? I don't know very many, and most people I speak to don't either. Yes, there are some people like that, but not many. Why don't the heads of the schools realize that the elitist people are the ones with a problem, and just ignore them?

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 10:16 pm

amother wrote:

I have one neighbor who has called schools and said bad things about neighbors applying there (ok, only one that I know about), but she is a person who is always having issues with other people about all kinds of things. It has nothing to do with frumkeit, except in her head.

Emotional

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 11:10 pm

glutenless wrote:

Because somehow "elite" and "frum/yeshivish" have become interchangeable when it comes to schools. We all know that.
A Lakewood friend of mine called me in Brooklyn, when she heard I was moving to Lakewood, and said "your girls are registered in Bnos Penina? Are you crazy? That school is desperate for students, they'll accept everyone... You have to back out and call School X (where her girls go) to beg, they're much better and frummer..."
I told her: "I registered my girls in January. It is now the end of June. I'm moving in 4 days and I'm having a baby in September. Do you think it's fair to second-guess me at this point, and to put doubts into my mind, when there's basically no turning back now?"
She said "well you can always send to Bnos Rivka, where my sister sends." And she gave a giggle and a snort.
Needless to say, I cut off contact with this friend, which is a real shame because I ended up moving not far from her neighborhood. And she's a really nice person when steering clear of this topic. But I felt she had already put our family in a box, and life is too short for such stupidity.
She's unfortunately not such an exception in Lakewood.
I've encountered this attitude in Brooklyn too, though less intense.
PS - I've since met several other families who send to her beloved School X. I'm still waiting to be bowled over by their "amazingness".

Notsobusy

Thu, Sep 17 2015, 11:39 pm

Emotional wrote:

That's just plain mean. Sorry she did that to you.

mommyla

Fri, Sep 18 2015, 12:16 am

I can't believe that there are people who actually make it public knowledge that they badmouth neighbors to the schools. And Emotional, your "friend" sounds like a real charm.

Can't wait until I have to apply to girls' schools... </sarcasm>

Emotional, from my experience and my friends' experiences, boys' schools are easier for some reason. Still not easy, but easier. Maybe because there are fewer "elite" boys' schools so there's less snobbery.