Gozez (39 Melachos)

amother

Violet

Sat, Sep 19 2015, 6:22 pm

I was thinking (this time of year and all) and I realized that the one melacha of the 39 that I have a really hard time with is Gozez - either with my nails, skin or hair. First of all, I feel like a terrible - since this is an Issur Deoraisa! Not like something small. Like Karies-worthy. Second, I'm not even sure how to work on it. A lot of times, its when I'm spacing out. I don't even notice. Or, it something that I'll try and try and try not to do, but then it'll just happen. Almost like the Yetzer Hara is too strong - but I know that can't be. How do I even work on it?

I don't find there are ANY other melachos (that I can think of off hand) that I'm Oiver sooo many times on Shabbos. (If there is one that is probable, let me know. I'll add it to the "Feel Guilty" list!) I sometimes feel like just without this melacha, I'd be able to keep Shabbos totally. Yes, it a nisayon not to pull the rotten tomato out of the salad, but I think I could get over it and move on. I'm more conscious of it. This one, is just so challenging.

Any suggestions or chizuk? Ideas that worked for you?

amother

Seashell

Sat, Sep 19 2015, 7:35 pm

I have the same issue. My lips get very dry and peel. It's so hard for me not to bite the dead skin off and it usually ends up coming off at some point if I rub my lips with my hand. Sad

The only solution I heard of was to keep hydrated so they don't dry out, but that hasn't worked yet.

I'd love to get ideas too!

animeme

Sun, Sep 20 2015, 6:31 pm

I managed to stop biting and picking at my nails because of this. And it was a thirty year old habit. It was beyond hard. I found that learning hilchos shabbos for five minutes each shabbos helped a little.

Also, I gave myself the leeway of letting myself off the hook for anything I did absentmindedly. When I realized I was doing it, I had to stop immediately, even if there was piece hanging off. Also, I held things in my hands a lot to fidget with. Eventually, I stopped.

But, I find lately that I am picking at dry lips which I can't seem to avoid no matter how much chapstick I use during the week. And once something has been bitten or picked at there, it is so hard to ignore and leave it be. I find myself thinking, "If I pick it off instead of biting, it will be d'rabbanan instead of d'oraisah". Oy.

seeker

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 3:35 am

Would a manicure help? May not be practical for all the time but maybe one on erev Yom Kippur can help you remember not to do it because it will feel different.
Chapped flaking lips are soooo hard!

chani8

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 9:13 am

The torah does not state, thou shall not gozez. It was assumed/decided that anything relating to the building of the mishkan is what G-d meant by 'keep shobbos'. You are not biting that nail, or peeling that bit of skin, to build the mishkan. What you are doing has nothing to do with the mishkan. So, it's a d'rabbonon. You wont get kories for it!

That said, it's shobbos. You have every day to be habitual. Shobbos is special. Be mindful that it's shobbos, a holy day. Not a day for picking at yourself . . . in any way.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 11:09 am

For lips, try eating salad with an oil based dressing. It's not considered refuah or annointing since the oil is derech achila and you are not spreading it yourself, but it will help moisturize them anyway.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 3:32 pm

So I know many of you will say "There she goes again"
And that's why I go anonymous.
Ask H-Shem for his help.
Speak to H-Shem, honestly.
Say, H-Shem I want to do your mitzvot, I want to keep the Shabbat properly, but I can't stop......please help me because my desire is to keep your mitzvot, and to get closer to YOU.
Do this everyday. It only takes less than 1 minute.

There was a mitzvah I was lacking in, ALL THE TIME. I talked to H-Shem about it. B"H, it's working so far.

Oh and if it works don't forget to say THANK YOU.

amother

Violet

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 5:06 pm

Thanks everyone for the advice!

amother wrote:

Thank you for this advice. For some reason we forget to do that - just ask Hashem for help. Thanks! Smile

amother

Apricot

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 5:11 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you. I really struggle with this as well and you are right.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Sep 21 2015, 9:12 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you. I really struggle with this as well and you are right.

When we say H-Shem can do ANYTHING, it means EVERYTHING
Just tell H-Shem what your desires are and HE will lead you there