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Is this really how it is for some of you?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 6:01 pm
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/......html

I dont find it to be this way with my daughter at all. So sad that some people feel this way.
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ray family




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 6:09 pm
living in Israel I don't find it like this. kids are often outside playing w/ anybody and everybody in the surrounding buildings. I can see how this happens more in America though.
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Rosemarie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 6:46 pm
I live in Brooklyn, and while I dont know what it is like in other parts of new York or anywhere else in america, here it's not like that. My kids are always playing with the neighbors, both those that live in the same house as me (multi-family house) and those that live next door, down the block, or around the corner. They play in my house, the neighbors' houses, or outside when is nice. And I see this anywhere I walk on shabbos afternoon, loads of kids playing on the sidewalk in front of their house or in driveways, with other kids who are definitely not siblings.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 6:56 pm
We have a lot of playdates, because most of my kids' friends are far enough away that they can't walk there on their own. Also, the locals make playdates, so often if you don't make plans with them, they will have plans with someone else. Though if my kids don't have plans, they can knock on some doors and usually find something to do.

That being said, a playdates in no way shape or form involves parents, except for transportation.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 6:58 pm
I live in Brooklyn too but don't allow my kids to be out themselves so we are a lot like the author. The neighbors do run around outside themselves but I cannot allow my kids to be outside without someone watching and by the time I come home from work I am beat and just want to stay in.
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Rosemarie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 7:08 pm
amother wrote:
I live in Brooklyn too but don't allow my kids to be out themselves so we are a lot like the author. The neighbors do run around outside themselves but I cannot allow my kids to be outside without someone watching and by the time I come home from work I am beat and just want to stay in.

I dont allow them outside by themselves yet. But they still play in the neighbors' houses a lot. And often after school one or more mothers will sit on the front porch/stoop and supervise the kids, including the neighbors.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 7:27 pm
Rosemarie wrote:
I dont allow them outside by themselves yet. But they still play in the neighbors' houses a lot. And often after school one or more mothers will sit on the front porch/stoop and supervise the kids, including the neighbors.
I wish I had this. I don't trust my neighbors to watch my kids outside because they don't watch their kids while they are outside. They are always out alone and years back when one mom promised me she would watch my 3 year old she came back home by herself!
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 23 2015, 7:49 pm
if I make playdates for my kids I don't hang around talking to the mom. I drop them off and go do errands and vice versa. It defeats the whole point of a playdate if I have to go play also.Confused
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 12:14 am
No...not this way at all here. I do have that gaggle of kids coming in and out at all hours. But I too am in Israel.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 12:41 am
Tablepoetry wrote:
No...not this way at all here. I do have that gaggle of kids coming in and out at all hours. But I too am in Israel.


I had that too - when the kids were younger. The younger two still roam a bit with friends but mostly on Friday night and Shabbat. During the week their activities are more structured now and they have less free time in HS.
But when they were younger it was fantastic for them to have the freedom to come and go with their friends/neighbors after school. As long as I knew where they were (and they were often here too with friends) I was fine with it.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 3:17 am
ray family wrote:
living in Israel I don't find it like this. kids are often outside playing w/ anybody and everybody in the surrounding buildings. I can see how this happens more in America though.


This is one of the main reasons why we made Aliyah - to get away from modern American parents.

The truth is that crime is down across the board from it's all time high in the 80's, and our kids are safer than they've ever been. Of course, the media doesn't want you to know that, because fear sells newspapers, GPS trackers, and all kinds of other things that make you feel a false sense of security. 'BE AFRAID, BUY THIS PRODUCT IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO LIVE! IF YOU DON'T, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON!'

Helicopter parenting is also at an all time high. If your child falls off the swings, you risk being interrogated by CPS. If your child walks 6 blocks to the park, you could be charged with neglect. G-d forbid, your child rides his bike and falls into the sticker bushes!

Parents are keeping their kids bubble wrapped and locked in the house, where they spend most of their time playing video games and eating potato chips - not digging in the mud, throwing rocks in a creek, or making forts.

I can't wait for DD to learn enough Hebrew, so my house will be full of giggling girls who will then take their bikes and go off on adventures.
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 3:32 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-s-white/the-saddest-thing-about-living-in-our-playdate-society_b_8126936.html

I dont find it to be this way with my daughter at all. So sad that some people feel this way.
shabbat, what is your point? The concept of playdate doesn't exist in Israel and certainly not in a Yishuv like you and I live in, unless you have to be out during the day and make arrangements for your young child to not be home alone then. No one sends 3 year olds wandering their city or even Yishuv. But a 5 year old can go out alone cause even cityfolk here live on streets will all Jews and often many are your friends too. Kids walk freely to just knock on a door and see if their friend is home since it's not a distance that involves riding in a car (I also wouldn't take one of my children in the car to knock on doors scattered in the city looking for friends - I would call before we got in the car). Kids here can walk to a friend, and can walk home too if they can only stay for 15 minutes for whatever reason.

When I grew up in Brooklyn, I had 1 religious friend on my block and 2 "Kosher - style" friends and we went back and forth knocking on doors freely but that was 45 years ago when the world was safe. Israel is always years behind America and most neighborhoods are still safe to send young children out to play and down the block to look for friends.

Gan and school end much earlier here (many places 1:00 - an improvement from 12:00) so kids go out to play everyday, not the once a week Sunday playday. The weather is much nicer so outdoor life is very popular where parents would spend money on a good bicycle for their child before things for expensive indoor activities.

School is less serious here (till they get much older and then it's hard), so even teens are involved in so many other things besides school year round and tend to end up at friends after school (or at Bnei Akiva). Life is much less formal here. Once kids reach HS you're never really sure how many are coming for dinner.

shabbatiscoming - comparing Israeli life with Amercan is like comparing apples and oranges - If that's your point, I'm all with you, that's why I'm raising my kids here and can't stop ranting about the advantages.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 3:35 am
Sanguine wrote:
shabbat, what is your point? The concept of playdate doesn't exist in Israel and certainly not in a Yishuv like you and I live in, unless you have to be out during the day and make arrangements for your young child to not be home alone then. No one sends 3 year olds wandering their city or even Yishuv. But a 5 year old can go out alone cause even cityfolk here live on streets will all Jews and often many are your friends too. Kids walk freely to just knock on a door and see if their friend is home since it's not a distance that involves riding in a car (I also wouldn't take one of my children in the car to knock on doors scattered in the city looking for friends - I would call before we got in the car). Kids here can walk to a friend, and can walk home too if they can only stay for 15 minutes for whatever reason.

When I grew up in Brooklyn, I had 1 religious friend on my block and 2 "Kosher - style" friends and we went back and forth knocking on doors freely but that was 45 years ago when the world was safe. Israel is always years behind America and most neighborhoods are still safe to send young children out to play and down the block to look for friends.

Gan and school end much earlier here (many places 1:00 - an improvement from 12:00) so kids go out to play everyday, not the once a week Sunday playday. The weather is much nicer so outdoor life is very popular where parents would spend money on a good bicycle for their child before things for expensive indoor activities.

School is less serious here (till they get much older and then it's hard), so even teens are involved in so many other things besides school year round and tend to end up at friends after school (or at Bnei Akiva). Life is much less formal here. Once kids reach HS you're never really sure how many are coming for dinner.

shabbatiscoming - comparing Israeli life with Amercan is like comparing apples and oranges - If that's your point, I'm all with you, that's why I'm raising my kids here and can't stop ranting about the advantages.
nope. I was not comparing. This was not on the Israel forum, it is on the main board. I just wanted to know if this was common by many people.
And yes, my daughter has play dates very often just because we dont live directly near and of her friends and she is still nervous to walk by herself anywhere, even if it is relatively close.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 3:41 am
Sanguine wrote:
No one sends 3 year olds wandering their city or even Yishuv. But a 5 year old can go out alone cause even cityfolk here live on streets will all Jews and often many are your friends too. Kids walk freely to just knock on a door and see if their friend is home since it's not a distance that involves riding in a car (I also wouldn't take one of my children in the car to knock on doors scattered in the city looking for friends - I would call before we got in the car). Kids here can walk to a friend, and can walk home too if they can only stay for 15 minutes for whatever reason.


Straying the topic a little I admit. The streets may be filled with Jews and many familiar faces, but I assume you wouldn't send a 5 yr old to a friend alone, if it involves crossing roads, even on a yishuv!
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 3:59 am
salt wrote:
Straying the topic a little I admit. The streets may be filled with Jews and many familiar faces, but I assume you wouldn't send a 5 yr old to a friend alone, if it involves crossing roads, even on a yishuv!
Some of the streets are very little and 5 year olds do cross them. The main streets they don't. So if you're in the right area, they learn to cross and do cross. Many kids in Yishuvim walk to gan by themselves (one son took his bike). We're talking small one way streets that don't get bus or truck traffic. It's really a matter of the kid and what kind of streets they have to cross.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 4:22 am
Sanguine wrote:
shabbat, what is your point? The concept of playdate doesn't exist in Israel and certainly not in a Yishuv like you and I live in, unless you have to be out during the day and make arrangements for your young child to not be home alone then. No one sends 3 year olds wandering their city or even Yishuv. But a 5 year old can go out alone cause even cityfolk here live on streets will all Jews and often many are your friends too. Kids walk freely to just knock on a door and see if their friend is home since it's not a distance that involves riding in a car (I also wouldn't take one of my children in the car to knock on doors scattered in the city looking for friends - I would call before we got in the car). Kids here can walk to a friend, and can walk home too if they can only stay for 15 minutes for whatever reason.

When I grew up in Brooklyn, I had 1 religious friend on my block and 2 "Kosher - style" friends and we went back and forth knocking on doors freely but that was 45 years ago when the world was safe. Israel is always years behind America and most neighborhoods are still safe to send young children out to play and down the block to look for friends.

Gan and school end much earlier here (many places 1:00 - an improvement from 12:00) so kids go out to play everyday, not the once a week Sunday playday. The weather is much nicer so outdoor life is very popular where parents would spend money on a good bicycle for their child before things for expensive indoor activities.

School is less serious here (till they get much older and then it's hard), so even teens are involved in so many other things besides school year round and tend to end up at friends after school (or at Bnei Akiva). Life is much less formal here. Once kids reach HS you're never really sure how many are coming for dinner.

shabbatiscoming - comparing Israeli life with Amercan is like comparing apples and oranges - If that's your point, I'm all with you, that's why I'm raising my kids here and can't stop ranting about the advantages.


I also enjoyed this freedom in the NY neighborhood of my childhood. It was wonderful and I'm so happy that my kids were able to have this type of lifestyle too here.
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slushiemom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 4:30 am
One of my favorite things about living in my neighborhood is the "play outside" mentality. Shabbat morning, my kids are allowed to leave the house at 8:30, come home for lunch and then go off again until dark. Often with the gang ending up at my house, or in my yard at some points. They also play with all ages, I'll often have a group of kids ranging from 1st grade- 6th grade in my house playing lego together. Wouldn't trade it for anything!!
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Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 5:43 am
slushiemom wrote:
One of my favorite things about living in my neighborhood is the "play outside" mentality. Shabbat morning, my kids are allowed to leave the house at 8:30, come home for lunch and then go off again until dark. Often with the gang ending up at my house, or in my yard at some points. They also play with all ages, I'll often have a group of kids ranging from 1st grade- 6th grade in my house playing lego together. Wouldn't trade it for anything!!
When my mom visits she says my neighborhood is like a bungalow colony with all the kids running in and out all day. Very Happy
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 5:46 am
Sanguine wrote:
.

shabbatiscoming - comparing Israeli life with Amercan is like comparing apples and oranges - If that's your point, I'm all with you, that's why I'm raising my kids here and can't stop ranting about the advantages.


It's not like that in my neighborhood in America either. The frum kids are always outside. I love it, like another poster wrote, you will see all ages, boys and girls, playing together. They roam from house to house, but they know that if they leave my block they have to let me know. They're usually outside, so it's easy to find them. There are also usually mothers out with their younger kids, so we don't have to worry.

I do tell my kids that they're not allowed to be the only one outside. If they go out and there's nobody else there, they have to get a friend or sibling, or come back in.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 24 2015, 6:03 am
Not at all like that in my neighborhood. My DD looks outside and as soon as she sees her friends (neighbors) she's out the door. She knows that she needs to stay on the block, and come in at dusk. They ride bikes, they go swimming (in the summertime, our neighborhood has a pool with lifeguard), they play games on our front porch, they make snowfriends in the wintertime, etc....

Playdates is for classmates, on Sundays when there's no school. The rest of the week (Shabbos and afterschool) it's the neighborhood gang. On Shabbos, I always stock up on snacks and ices (in the summer) and it all goes. Make your home kid-friendly, and you will be a neighborhood gang snack stop, and your kid will be included in everything.
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