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What would you think if you saw this?
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Her mother is so laid back and easygoing, letting her pick out her own clothes and dress herself   
 64%  [ 76 ]
How could her mother let her leave the house that way? You should look your best on Yom tov  
 11%  [ 14 ]
None of the above. Please specify  
 23%  [ 27 ]
Total Votes : 117



LovetoLive




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:21 am
If you saw a little girl in shul on shabbos dressed in a pretty dress that had seen better days and her shell on backwards, what would you think?
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chouli




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:23 am
It could have been my daughter Wink
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:23 am
Thinking of some of my kids, I would say that's she's stubborn and the mother has learned to pick her battles.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:24 am
That her mother is in labor.

Happened to my neighbor. Kid came to the bus in the morning with an untucked, misbuttoned, mismatched shirt. His mom was in hospital giving birth to twins.

As long as she is not hungry or drenched in urine, clothing is just that, clothing. It covers the body and keeps you warm.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:30 am
I would think she dressed herself.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:34 am
I would think she dressed herself. My four year old has no problem getting his clothes on but still has trouble remembering which way they go. I do remind him and have been working on tricks to help him do it right but I'm just glad that he's happy to do it himself, so when he objects to switching his clothes the right way, I back off.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:37 am
It would depend on what the mom looked like and the other kids looked like. If the child was clean, smelled good and the hair looked neat and clean.
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bandcm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:50 am
Mother is in bed with a newborn.
She had a tantrum when mother tried to fix her clothes, so mother left it.
Father was in charge, told her to get dressed, and didn't think of checking.

All of these have happened to me at different times.
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yidisheh mama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:52 am
My mother says when I was a kid I had this mortifying habit of changing my clothes and redoing my hair by myself after my mother dressed me in nice, clean clothes.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 11:54 am
I would NOT think she's neglected unless this was a regular thing every week in addition to dirty matted hair.
A goo description of dd today, though we didn't leave the house.
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freedomseek




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 12:02 pm
They rushed out of the house
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JAWSCIENCE




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 12:08 pm
That daddy was in charge today and the kid wanted to wear this dress.
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Dandelion1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 12:10 pm
When I was in bed with hyperemesis I had frequently commiserated with my best friend about feeling like I was horribly neglecting my other children.

She later texted me a picture of my four year old with my dh in the pizza store, wearing a pink tutu from the previous purim, a red mickey mouse tee shirt and her rainboots. She said something to the effect of how happy and adorable she looked and if this was neglect then she wished that for all kids in the world. It's still one of my favorite pictures....
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pond user




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 2:46 pm
I grew up chassidish.
My mother was the only parent in the neighborhood who didn't mind us kids choosing our own outfits and dressing ourselves. We were the only kids in a 10 kilometer radius who didn't have the shoes, bow, shirt, and jacket matching.

But we all survived. We grew up with confidence to choose our own clothes (not necessarily in trend) and our kids clothes by what we like and not what everyone else is wearing. We feel no pressure to ensure that each YT every child needs a brand new perfectly matching outfit which costs more than the average house. If the bow annoys my daughter I take it out and I couldn't care less that she looks less than a catwalk model of a child.

The amount of people who tell me they wish they could be so carefree as I. That they didnt feel such pressure to conform to such an ott society. That they used their last 50 dollars on the latest pair of shoes for their kid who will outgrow them in 2 months for fear of what others will think.

It literally sickens me how judgemental people are. This pole would've made more sense if the kid was filthy, stunk, or was clearly starving. But to start a pole on a back to front top? A dress from last season or hand me down? Seriously mothers!!! It's shameful!

Ps I'm not ranting because I can't afford to dress my kids well. I'm ranting because I would rather use my hard earned money towards my family's future and good tuition rather than fitting into someone else's idea of what 'coping' or 'loving' parenting looks like.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 3:43 pm
DH has taken the kids out shopping in pajamas, claiming he can't tell the difference.
Sometimes the kids pull clothes from a "donate" or dress-up bag and it's not worth the fight. My 2yo DD once spent 3 days straight wearing one of my old snoods. I let her. Why not?
Sometimes kids dress themselves and it's counterproductive to make them redo it, because they get frustrated and feel incompetent. Better to just let it be and teach them hints for next time.
My 2yo DD is also very proud of putting on her own shoes, but sometimes insists that they go on the wrong feet. I let her do that too.

When I see a kid out on the street wearing funny sunglasses, a purim headband with lime green pigtails attached, shoes on the wrong feet, a giant fake pearl necklace, or a flower-patterned shirt with a polka-dotted skirt, looking happy and carefree, it makes me smile.
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gibberish




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 3:55 pm
Many years ago when I was a counselor in a day camp I noticed one child (in another division) who would come in every day mismatched and a general mess. My initial reaction as a teen was - how can the mother not be on top of kid? This kid definitely needed help. A couple of days later I learned that this kid had just lost her mother and the father was struggling to take care of all the children. I have since learned not to judge when I see a child looking like this - who knows what's going on in the home?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 8:38 pm
how little is this little girl? Three, or eleven and a half?
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return2You




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 8:46 pm
none of my business!!! who can know? maybe her mother is pg and nauseaus, maybe she is very laid back, bottom line, who cares? I would try to mind my own business and not judge.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 8:48 pm
I'd be like, oh, is that my kid? Yep, yep it is.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 30 2015, 8:48 pm
I literally wouldn't notice. (Not even sure what it means to have a backwards shell. How can you tell?$
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