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Whose minhagim are these?
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amother
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Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 9:46 am
Hm, so far only cbg"s Turkish ancestors don't go to cemetery...

Waiting to see if ruchel has anything to say on the matter - she seems to have quite a lot of knowledge of various traditions.
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mazal555




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 11:58 am
A lot of Odessa Jews were from turkey way back. Maybe that could explain a Turkish cemetery minhag and Russian borscht?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 09 2015, 5:15 pm
Surely you jest. Lekach is a traditional RH treat because it's loaded with honey. It is as traditional--and as ubiquitous--as dipping an apple in honey. Both symbolize wishes for a sweet new year. As do taiglach, another "minhag" that is not a minhag (in the halachik sense) at all. People have countless quaint culinary customs that may lend a sense of connection to generations past but have zero halachic basis. There is nothing wrong with holding on to them, no need to feel guilty about skipping them, and no need to make a religion out of them.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 12:57 pm
amother wrote:
Imasoftov, I'm sorry I don't get the amusing part now in that in my case there's clearly nothing like what you are bringing up - I am somewhat uncomfortable with this attitude when it obviously matters to me to find out more about these family "customs", and do find insinuations about my grandmother doing meaningless things that supposedly mimic non-Jewish behavior insulting.

I long ago gave up apologizing for things that people imagined I said.
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amother
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Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 9:47 pm
zaq wrote:
Surely you jest. Lekach is a traditional RH treat because it's loaded with honey. It is as traditional--and as ubiquitous--as dipping an apple in honey. Both symbolize wishes for a sweet new year. As do taiglach, another "minhag" that is not a minhag (in the halachik sense) at all. People have countless quaint culinary customs that may lend a sense of connection to generations past but have zero halachic basis. There is nothing wrong with holding on to them, no need to feel guilty about skipping them, and no need to make a religion out of them.


zaq, what I meant was not just baking or eating the honey cake but specifically sending it to family davka before Yom Kippur. Not before rosh hashana which would prob make more sense if it had been meant as a wish for a sweet year or a yomtov treat.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Oct 10 2015, 11:32 pm
amother wrote:
zaq, what I meant was not just baking or eating the honey cake but specifically sending it to family davka before Yom Kippur. Not before rosh hashana which would prob make more sense if it had been meant as a wish for a sweet year or a yomtov treat.


there is a minhag (believe chassidish) where cake is "served" in shul eruv yom kippur. The men ASK for a slice and are given it. Its a common custom. Its possible the sending of the honey cake came from there? My grandmother for years baked the cake for you my grandfather and then father to give out in shul and the grandchildren always go the leftovers. It is possible what is happening in your family is a branch off of that minhag?
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amother
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Post Sun, Oct 11 2015, 5:14 pm
sky wrote:
there is a minhag (believe chassidish) where cake is "served" in shul eruv yom kippur. The men ASK for a slice and are given it. Its a common custom. Its possible the sending of the honey cake came from there? My grandmother for years baked the cake for you my grandfather and then father to give out in shul and the grandchildren always go the leftovers. It is possible what is happening in your family is a branch off of that minhag?


Absolutely, I've heard of this shul minhag and our family thing must be the "spinoff" of it in the absence of shuls.
I was just hoping that it would point to some specific branches of chassidim, along with the cemetery rule.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Oct 11 2015, 5:37 pm
My father belongs to a Ukrainian chassidus and also has Ukrainian roots and is very into his sour borscht on pesach. He claims the reason for it is similar to why we eat cholent - the tzedokim used to interpret kol machmetzes literally as everything fermented, so to prove them wrong they ate sour borscht. He also does the Lekach thing and has interesting cemetery minhagim but not sure if this specific one.
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amother
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Post Sun, Oct 11 2015, 6:00 pm
Orange amother, what chassidus does he belong to, and do you happen to know what part of Ukraine his family was from?

Also, what are his "interesting cemetery minhagim"?

Thanks a lot
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Oct 11 2015, 8:41 pm
amother wrote:
Orange amother, what chassidus does he belong to, and do you happen to know what part of Ukraine his family was from?

Also, what are his "interesting cemetery minhagim"?

Thanks a lot

My father is a skverer chossid. The chassidus hails from Chernobyl. His paternal grandparents come from a town called bolochov ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bolekhiv ). I'm pretty sure that his maternal grandparents were from a place closer to or in Russia proper, but I'm not certain.

Regarding cemeteries, my father believes that women should not visit the graves of relatives ever, except for prior to getting married. Maybe there is also an exception for kivrei tzaddikim, but again, not certain.

I know he himself goes to kivrei tzaddikim, so I guess it's okay for males. Not sure about relatives though. Maybe only on a yahrtzeit, maybe only prior to marrying off a child. Pretty sure it's not just "whenever the mood strikes".

Not 100% certain about any of this, and sorry, not able to find out more.

OP, are you by any chance also the OP of the fruit cake thread?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 12 2015, 12:36 pm
My lite MO (old school Euro MO) shul I grew up had cake. No idea if it was sent or bought. Probably bought packed as it had to be left before Kippur in shul?

Rings a bell, that Turks don't go to cemetery etc. But maybe it's another ethnicity... Someone does this, someone Sefardi.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 12 2015, 1:09 pm
amother wrote:
My father belongs to a Ukrainian chassidus and also has Ukrainian roots and is very into his sour borscht on pesach. He claims the reason for it is similar to why we eat cholent - the tzedokim used to interpret kol machmetzes literally as everything fermented, so to prove them wrong they ate sour borscht. He also does the Lekach thing and has interesting cemetery minhagim but not sure if this specific one.


So fascinating!
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simchat




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 12 2015, 2:16 pm
Honey cake being given in shul erev yk is a Chabad minhag (though it might belong to other chassidic groups too). As far as I know, the tradition is to 'beg' the rabbi for a piece and he answers something along the lines of 'may this be the only thing you have to beg for this year,' follows with wishes for a sweet year and gives him the cake. My father would bring the cake home and tell us all to ask for some and then repeat this blessing. This is specifically done on erev yk, though we did eat honey cake on rh too as a symbol for a sweet year.
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bandcm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 12 2015, 6:19 pm
amother wrote:
My father belongs to a Ukrainian chassidus and also has Ukrainian roots and is very into his sour borscht on pesach. He claims the reason for it is similar to why we eat cholent - the tzedokim used to interpret kol machmetzes literally as everything fermented, so to prove them wrong they ate sour borscht. He also does the Lekach thing and has interesting cemetery minhagim but not sure if this specific one.


Not the tzedukim, the Karaites.
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L K




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:51 am
amother Orange wrote:
My father belongs to a Ukrainian chassidus and also has Ukrainian roots and is very into his sour borscht on pesach. He claims the reason for it is similar to why we eat cholent - the tzedokim used to interpret kol machmetzes literally as everything fermented, so to prove them wrong they ate sour borscht. He also does the Lekach thing and has interesting cemetery minhagim but not sure if this specific one.


Orange, if you’re still here…
Is that your fathers family or skverrer minhag?
I see that bolechiv is all the way western Ukraine, far from the original Skver.
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a2z




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 22 2023, 2:57 am
amother Dodgerblue wrote:
Has anyone else heard of the cemetery thing?


Hi
We are chabad based but I'm not sure if the minhag is from there
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