Help me understand what I saw

miami85

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:05 am

I ate out today (shabbos) at a new friend's house (we're colleagues) and as far as I know they are frum, BT, but fully observant (husband went to a mainstream yeshiva for h.s.) and I noticed that her husband was wearing what appeared to be an iphone ( it was really big) in a holster on his waistband. It was very open and on display. He didn't mention it, nor did my friend. He didn't touch it or anything, and the screen was dark. At first I though maybe he was on hatzala--which besides I think in our neighborhood they use walkie-talkies, but I don't recall my friend mentioning anything like that, he mentioned that he works in the "corporate world". His family doesn't live nearby (don't think expecting a medical emergency), and his wife isn't pregnant (I've heard of a heter of husband carrying a cellphone if wife is 9th month). Conversation was otherwise very "frum" in nature (I.e. not like he was struggling with yiddishkeit)--so why would he have a phone on him on Shabbos? Is there any tactful way of asking my friend? (My main toeles is that we'd like to eat with them again, but if there's a problem with their shmiras shabbos, then it could be a problem.),

5mom

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:11 am

I have no idea why he might be wearing a phone, but the fact that it's out tells me he must need it for some good reason. If he were peeking at sports scores over shabbos, wouldn't he hide the phone?

Last edited by 5mom on Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:12 am; edited 1 time in total

user2

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:11 am

a family member has seen a shomrim member in our community with a phone on yom tov. we were discussing possibility of him being allowed to have it in case of an emergency, for that small percentage of a dangerous situation (though thats usually for the police to handle. we were discussing it with my brother who's learned hilchos shabbos. dunno what it was, just sharing a possibility)

youngishbear

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:18 am

Could it have been a medical device? You wrote that it appeared to be an iphone.

There are insulin pumps, chemotherapy devices, etc.

Though most people would try to camouflage those, I'm sure.

amother

Slategray

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:25 am

I know of a very frum man who has his cell phone on 24/7/52
When asked what he does his reply is "I help Hashems children". He helped me obtain my GET. I know that he is always helping and does it within the confines of halacha. (He once mentioned to me how embarrassing it was when his cell phone rang during shmone esrei of musaf on yom kippur).
When he was helping me with my GET, he got a call on friday nite where he had to drive 45 minutes away to help s/o. The psak he got was that he could drive there, but not back. Unless he had a [gentile] drive him both ways. So they found a [gentile] to drive.
I met a friend of mine that shabbos and she said she had a very strange experience. She went into the shul and saw a man dressed in yeshivish clothing/black hat talking on his phone on shabbos. It was strange and awkward for her. I told her I knew who it was and that he is a legitimate frum person. (Thats also how I found out he was back from wherever it was he had to run to friday nite)
I did not ask him who gave him the psak to have his phone on, but I trust him that he has one.
Maybe this man has a psak. We just never know.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:34 am

youngishbear wrote:

Could it have been a medical device? You wrote that it appeared to be an iphone.

There are insulin pumps, chemotherapy devices, etc.

Though most people would try to camouflage those, I'm sure.

Not necessarily. My great-niece has been wearing an insulin pump quite openly since she was a teen. (I don't think she has much of a choice, as she has to keep it readily accessible to be able to input the data that the pump uses to release the appropriate dose.)

A person might feel that trying to hide the device would imply that he is doing something wrong. He's wearing it openly and OP is already suspicious--what do you think she would assume if he tried to hide it and she got a glimpse of it?

youngishbear

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:36 am

amother wrote:

You can't win the "what will people think" game. Here I am, doubting it's medical because he's not hiding it... and you say hiding it would make people suspect it is not medical. What

I admire people who hold their heads up high and do what they gotta do for their health.

Last edited by youngishbear on Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:48 am; edited 1 time in total

zaq

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:48 am

youngishbear wrote:

You can't win the "what will people think" game. Here I am, doubting it's medical because he's not hiding it... and you say hiding it would make people suspect it is not medical. What

I admire peiple who hold their heads up high and do what they gotta do for their health.

Some ppl like bandAids with the clear tape because they're inconspicuous while others go for the brightly colored ones with cartoons. Some people are only too happy to discuss their medical problems with all and sundry, while others prefer to keep their medical status to themselves. To each his own. There's no right or wrong here.

amother

Tan

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 1:14 am

I wear my phone on Shabbat. I am responsible for people lives and have a psak to wear it It also helps when there was an emergency at shut and they need a phone quickly. I am sure that this man has an appropriate Halacha reason to wear his phone

miami85

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 8:06 am

mommy2b2c wrote:

My husband wears his phone on shabbos. He is a paramedic. He tries to hide it though .

That was my initial thought, I didn't remember what he did, but as conversation pressed on, and from what I remember my friend has told me in the past it doesn't seem that that was the case)

Definitely not an insulin pump, it was not a pouch--I've seen those, it was a really big smartphone. He wore it more on his back I guess to make it less obvious.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 8:12 am

miami85 wrote:

What has she told you that indicates no hatzalah? Also, it could be a recent thing.

PAMOM

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 10:03 am

If it bothers you enough that you feel you can't have the relationship you'd like (and I'm NOT saying it should or shouldn't), ask your friend. I'm sure she's used to it. Just say, "I noticed xx was wearing what looked like a large phone. I hope I'm not being too personal but is it an emergency phone or a medical pump?" If he doesn't mind it showing, they're obviously open to answering questions.

amother

Coral

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 10:14 am

My husband was allowed to carry his on shabbos when he was the one responsible for a close family member who had just gotten out of the hospital from a serious operation. The member insisted on recovering at their own home but could call dh if necessary.

I'm assuming the phone was too large to conceal? Didn't fit in a pocket...

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 12:44 pm

My husband wears his phone on shabbos. He is a medical personnel. He was told he can NOT put the phone in his pocket as that would be considered carrying. He has to WEAR the phone. So he clips it to his belt. When he wears a jacket it's concealed, when he's not wearing a jacket it's visible for all to see.

LittleDucky

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 1:57 pm

I have a friend with a pump. It looks like a beeper, not a pouch. Maybe there are those that looks like phones?

Plus there are other devices out there... Pain pumps that deliver high dose meds and electronic "buzzers" that work to interrupt pain signals. (It's implanted near the spine with a device you can control for how much buzzing). Forgot the official name. I know someone else with one and that's how they explained it...the buzzing confuses pain for those with long term pain issues not resolved by meds...

imasinger

Sun, Oct 11 2015, 2:14 pm

If I were in your shoes, I would either ask the friend, or my LOR.

Bottom line, there is a whole lot of room to be dl"z here, and it might make sense to assume good reason and let it go at that. AYLOR.