Feel bad that I can't really afford extracurriculars

amother

Papaya

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 5:50 pm

I know that BH I should be grateful for all that I do have and for healthy kids, but....there are so many things my 2 kids (part. my daughter, 6yo) want to do - and are good at - and I just can't afford to pay for more than one weekly activity per semester. I feel like she won't be able to nurture her talents because I can't pay to send her to lessons. All her friends are off at gymnastics, music lessons, etc - and she would love to do these things too. I feel terrible. :-(

seeker

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 6:27 pm

Hm, I was all set with the hugs but you said one course per semester, that's a LOT more than nothing... I don't know, maybe the expectations are higher where you live, but I'd say the difference between something and nothing is huge. Is there any way you can supplement at home for what you can't send her to classes for? If you have (or can purchase) a keyboard there are nice self-teaching books out there. Art or craft kits and books for kids who prefer arts or crafts. Field guides for the nature oriented. Then for the one lesson out you would go with gymnastics or dance because that really doesn't lend itself to self-teaching. Do you have any museums or attractions locally that could fill in for amusement and learning? Sometimes they even may have events or mini-classes for kids.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 6:30 pm

seeker wrote:

Ha, thanks. Smile

yes, NYC, it's crazy here. I wish I had more time to teach her things but I work full time and am exhausted. I can't even afford the one per semester, to be honest, I go into a bit of debt for it.

seeker

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 6:37 pm

I kind of assumed you were in Israel because that's the only place I know where it is standard for kids to be enrolled in multiple extracurriculars. The kids get out of school at 1 or so and have the whole day to either go places or do activities at home. I don't have time for anything except maybe on Sundays, my kids just started school so they are home before 4 with no homework and already I can't get used to how little time we have for anything! Go a little easier on yourself, your kid is not going to suffer from having *only* one extracurricular in NYC. She's only 6, if you start now it will just be harder to scale back later. With time she will probably find something she is really passionate for and then you can focus on that and stop feeling bad about everything else.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 7:03 pm

seeker wrote:

h

👍

amother

White

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 7:15 pm

I'm also feeling a little bit of a sting. I feel bad that I can't send my 6yo DD to swimming lessons and ballet and gymnastics. Art, food decoration, baking and arts and crafts we do at home. When I was a sahm I took the kids to the park a lot so that counted as their gymnastics but I don't have time or energy for that anymore now that I'm working. She could use the exercise and I feel bad that she's missing out on the fun. She would love ballet, she's such a girly-girl. Swimming is such a good thing to learn young before you have a chance to develop a phobia of swimming. But whatever, if we can't afford it, then we can't. She'll grow up perfectly fine without all that extra stuff. In your case your daughter is already going to one course, maybe change it up every few months so she gets to experience a few different things.

they are so young, it's good for them to have unstructured imaginative play too.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Oct 13 2015, 7:18 pm

Also could not afford extracurricular activities when I had a six-year-old daughter...on the bright side, it gave her more time to entertain herself creatively in a world where kids are so over-scheduled that most seem to have no time for themselves...

You may be able to find free or very low cost programs at museums or parks. Overall, I wouldn't worry about it too much at this age. It would not be too late to start music/art/sports/whatever when she is a little older.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 6:44 am

Another culture here, I wouldn't want to drive around so even if I could I wouldn't. I took this into mind when choosing a school that is not rich-oriented etc.

SRS

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 6:53 am

My opinion: one activity at 6 years old is plenty. Start tracking groupon, living social, certifikid, and other similar sights because sometimes there are great deals. But one activity is enough and you should not guilt yourself, nor should you go into debt. (And a P.S. to Ruchel above. . .I don't think it is the rich-oriented are the ones driving the extracurricular activities. It just isn't).

SRS

Wed, Oct 14 2015, 6:59 am

A P.S. Older kids will want and need more. While your children are young, explain to them the concept of limited resources (money, time, energy). Help your kids understand that doing x means that you can't do y. This approach, I believe, will save you a lot of agmas nefesh in the long run. Sure, you will still hear that this kid does this and that one does that, but imprint the idea that you, as a parent, have limits when the kids are young.