 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
|
amother
Sapphire
|
 Mon, Oct 26 2015, 10:58 pm
|
I gave birth yesterday, and the doctors suspect my baby has ds. I am awaiting the results of the genetic testing. I am very nervous about what this means for me and my family. Does having a baby with ds turn over your whole life? Will everything from now on revolve around therapy and intervention? I have a 2 year old who obviously still needs a lot of attention and love, as do the older kids. How do I not shortchange them?
| |
|
| Back to top |
 68
 0
|
doodlesmom
|
Mon, Oct 26 2015, 11:07 pm
|
Mazel tov! I don't have any experience, but wish you much Hatzlacha.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
Miri7
|
Mon, Oct 26 2015, 11:11 pm
Mazal tov!
I also don't have much experience but you may ask a social worker in the hospital if there is someone who can speak about that with you, as well as connect you with other moms with DS children who can share their experience and help you navigate.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
gande
|
Mon, Oct 26 2015, 11:38 pm
|
Mazel tov! I am a parent of a special needs child. You will create a special room in your heart for this child that did not exist till now. Do you live in NYC? If yes there are many services available such as respite & conhab in which you will get help with your child. Good luck!
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
2
|
Mama Bear
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 12:39 am
Get in touch with the poster named DownSyndrome. She will really be able to help put you at ease.
There is no way now to know just how much upheaval the child will cause. It will definitely be a challenge, but many DS kids are really sweet and don't disrupt life so much, esp if they dont have behavior or health issues. THey simply go to special ed schools, special ed camps, and need a little therapy. Others are harder. There's no way to really know now. But get in touch with DownSyndrome, and maybe hook up with HASC or another organization to help guide you. Hatzlocha and mazel tov!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
sped
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 3:55 am
Where are you located? From speaking to others in this situation, it seems that the most helpful thing is to speak to mothers of children with DS. Most of them, I find, are fairly honest about what you can expect.
Mazel tov and lots of hatzlacha and menuchas hanefesh.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Linen
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 4:22 am
Mazel tov OP! Here is a blog post by the mother of a child with Down Syndrome. She has a link to a Ted talk by a woman with Down Syndrome that is wonderful but it's what the mother says in her blog post that might be most reassuring for you to read.
http://avivahwerner.com/2015/0.....fney/
May you and your baby have good health and joy always!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
the world's best mom
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 7:03 am
Mazel Tov! I have a niece who has Down's, and she is adorable. Her mother told me that when a child is born with Down's, it's a shock for the parents in the beginning, and that is the hard part. Once you move on and get over the shock, then you see the tremendous Nachas.
I recommend getting your hands on the Down Syndrome Amongst Us Magazines. They offer a very positive outlook on raising children with Down's.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
Honeydew
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:44 am
|
I have a daughter with special needs who is not down syndrome but it definitely causes upheaval. your life will never be the same again however you'll love her and it will just become part of your life.
| |
|
| Back to top |
3
1
|
|
amother
Gold
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:47 am
First of all mazel tov on the baby.
I have an adorable 3 year old girl with Down syndrome. She has absolutely changed our lives for the better.
With that said, a few thoughts:
When you first get the diagnosis your thoughts are all over the place. Perfectly understandable, we have all been there. You're thinking 5 years from now, 10 years from now. It takes time to digest the news. But the baby is only a day old. You have lots of time to figure things out and adjust.
Totally agree with the other posters about getting in touch with DS support groups. In NYC the frum community has a great support network. If you're outside NYC see what the secular community has to offer. In my experience the DS community is extremely friendly and supportive. If you use Facebook check out "Jewish parents of children with DS." Great resource.
Personally I am suspicious of any comment that begins with "People with DS..." or "Babies with DS..." Stereotypes are stereotypes, even when they're positive ones. Good natured, easy babies, bla bla bla. What worked best for us was to forget all the labels and stereotypes and focus on our daughter, who SHE is. We don't think of her as "our child with DS." She is our daughter and we treat her like all the other kids in the family. She has her tasks to do and we speak to her expecting that she will understand. I fully believe that people with DS are far more intelligent and capable than we give them credit for and our daughter has amazed us in many ways ka"h. It has nothing to do with how many words they can say at any given age or the other chochmalach we like to brag about. It's about tuning in to your child and letting the child show you what they can do. They will surprise you!
When my daughter was first born one of the first blogs on DS I came across was myshtub.org. She hasn't updated in a while but it's fantastic.
Mazel tov again, for now your focus should be on resting and relaxing and enjoying your baby. Things will fall into place as you go along, I assure you.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
17
|
|
amother
Lavender
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:54 am
Having a sister with DS might have contributed to making my daughter in law the incredible young woman she is. Her sister is a joy. They have access to great therapy and chinuch options and she's blossoming!
Of course there are no guarantees. The only guarantee is that your life will change, and I hope you will constantly see the bracha.
A P.S. from a speech I once heard: the speaker was pregnant in her late 30s and was offered all sorts of testing. She declined them. Not ultrasounds but amnio, etc. She said that it wouldn't changer her mind to continue the pregnancy. A (secular or gentile) doctor walked in and said he wanted to meet the woman who wouldn't think of terminating her pregnancy. He was very moved and said that he has a child with DS and, well, all the clichés about how she enriched their lives, etc. Nice surprise 
Hatzlacha and may you see much nachas!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
baschabad
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 10:47 am
Mazel Tov!
May I recommend a great book that I read by a mother with a DS baby: The Year my son and I were born.
Fair warning: You will probably need lots of tissues!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Slateblue
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 11:14 am
Mazel Tov and welcome to a very special club! My son with DS is now a 4th grader and a wonderful boy who bring us great nachas.
My life and my family's lives changed for the better when he was born. We are closer, happier, and have someone to love and who expresses love in a unique way.
If the diagnosis is confirmed please allow yourself to go through all the stages of mourning - shock, denial, anger...then prepare to learn. A lot.
One of the most comforting things I heard early on was that my child has the "cadillac" of disabilities - because we will clearly see yiddishe nachas from him, just in a different way.
I found the first 2.5 years very intense - then it started to settle down, especially when he started attending school. Stay in the present and ditto to getting in touch with other parents! Don't overwhelm yourself in the beginning, but they will be great teachers and mentors - we experience all we do in life so we can use it to help others!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Silver
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 11:39 am
|
As a parent of a child with a syndrome, not Downs, but a visible syndrome, let me forewarn you, that if your child has DS, likely you are in store for being on the recieving end of lots of positive attention, support from everywhere, coos and smiles and love from everyone, and endless learning opportunities.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
Wine
|
Tue, Oct 27 2015, 12:29 pm
As a sibling to a special needs child, I can say that the child does take up time and attention, but they are soooo loved. I've seen that the parents and silbings of SN children, are such sensitive people.
I really like the way Avivah Werner (http://avivahwerner.com/) approaches SN and specifically Downs. I've learnt a lot from her posts.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
sunshine6
|
Tue, Nov 10 2015, 8:15 pm
|
Hi. I have a child who has Down syndrome. Please pm me.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Sapphire
|
Wed, Nov 11 2015, 6:22 pm
|
op here. Thank you for your advice and support. We are slowly coming to terms with this new task Hashem has given us. Boruch Hashem we are being flooded with advice and information which need to be processed on intellectual, emotional and practical levels. To those who suggested I pm them, thank you, but I'm not ready for that yet. Not that I'm afraid of exposure - we have been open from the start with all our relatives and friends - but I am still overwhelmed by the path immediately before us and am not always ready to deal with people telling me what I may expect years or decades down the way. IOW, I'm just learning to deal with the idea of a baby with ds, I'm not quite ready to think too much about him as a toddler, child, adolescent or adult....
| |
|
| Back to top |
9
11
|
newlymarried
|
Thu, Nov 12 2015, 12:46 am
|
Op, I also have a new baby with down syndrome. Let me know if you'd like to connect, to sympathise as we both go through this at the same time
| |
|
| Back to top |
4
2
|
sunshine6
|
Thu, Nov 12 2015, 1:06 am
New baby too!! 
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
chavs
|
Thu, Nov 12 2015, 3:12 am
|
Sorry, I have no advice but saw that you just gave birth and wanted to say mazel tov! May you have lots of nachas and feel well!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Ketamine changed my life for the better AMA
|
46 |
Mon, Apr 22 2024, 8:13 am  |
|
|
Which recipes did you like from Real Life Pesach Cooking
|
20 |
Sun, Apr 21 2024, 10:06 pm |
|
|
Melas tights - did they change something??
|
14 |
Thu, Apr 18 2024, 3:38 am |
|
|
Support for moms of children w Down Syndrome
|
12 |
Mon, Apr 15 2024, 11:24 pm |
|
|
Living life with 36k annually
|
63 |
Mon, Apr 01 2024, 2:06 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
