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Need comeback line for dd
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2015, 6:43 pm
fmt4 wrote:
Is your daughter the one who said poop face or was it the other girl? It's unclear. Because if your daughter said it it seems like she might be a bit immature, and perhaps that is why she is being bullied? That is something a five year old would say not a teenager.


op here- dd is actually very mature and insightful, but words are just not her thing when it comes to sticking up for herself. I think she l had a lot of "choice" words she would have liked to have called this girl, but I think in her frustration- that's all she could think of. and agreed poopface is for kindergarten-that's why I turned to you guy for something better- I am to upset to come up with all of your clever ideas.
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GoldFlowers




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2015, 8:04 pm
As much as we all would love to, it's impossible to prepare a comeback for nastiness and bullying. Unless the bully is reading from the exact same script, pre planned lines will just sound silly. Wise comebacks aren't about the words, but about the delivery and regardless of who actually has the "better" lines, a bully who's surrounded by supporters will get the laughs. Besides, the bully isn't standing around while your daughter is delivering a speech and the bully will always have to have last word.

That's why the only thing you can really give to your daughter is self confidence. It's so so hard because she'll never see how much it bugs the other girl, but a simple shoulder shrug and "ok" from your daughter is better than the best delivered line. I know you said that your daughter's been ignoring the bully's comments for a while but that's very different than sending the bully a message that she really doesn't care and the bully's comments are way beneath her. It really is hard to do this, It might be helpful to find her books on this topic and for her to practice with someone else.

2 final points- you didn't say an age but you mentioned that your daughter is a teenager. That's good for your daughter, because girls usually grow out of direct type of bullying that you're describing at that age. (No worries though, more subtle nastiness will come along!)

Also, I hope my post doesn't come across as a "toughen up, bullying happens" kind of attitude. The bullying absolutely needs to be dealt with and hopefully the school will be able to help. But if you're trying to give your daughter tools to respond to the other girls behavior, I think focusing on an "I don't care" attitude will be more helpful than all the comeback lines.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2015, 8:21 pm
there are a million ways to answer a bully. from reading so much and peoples comments. there is no one way. maybe one of her teachers can speak in public about it. if this is a girl that bullies others she will get it. and hopefully the other girls will walk away from her and she wont have anyone backing her. but I really dont know what I would tell dd what to say. its hard to live with it. maybe keep her home once in a while so she gets some respite. and spend quality time with her alone. so she has you as support. does she have friends that can support her? can they all gang up against her so she looses her grip?
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Frenchfry




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:02 pm
This one really worked for one of my kids:

Broken telephone:

She: insult
Your kid: "if you say so" shrug
She: another insult
Your kid: "if you say so"
Etc

Main thing is not to get flustered. I practiced it with her at home first.

Also works with uh huh in the place of if you say so.
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smily




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 27 2015, 9:06 pm
Google Izzy Kalman on bulling. He addresses this and has some videos.
Hope this is helpful.
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