Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
3 yr old goes to sleep at midnight, please help!!



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Lavender


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2015, 11:02 pm
To sum it up, my 3 yr old started preschool. He loves going, but they give him a 2 hr nap and he can not settle down at nt. In fact, he does quite the opposite, he starts getting loud, waking up the baby, waking up his other siblings, demanding all kinds of ridiculous things. At this hr of nt I just want to settle down, instead he runs around in circles making everyone crazy.
I have spoken to the preschool, and begged them not to let him sleep, but they don't listen. Or care very much. The teacher needs her two hr break!
I also don't live in a mansion and I don't have a special room to put him in by himself. I try dimming lts etc but all these dont work when you have a teen ager still up doing homework.
What works some times but is also ridiculous is to rock him in a stroller outside but that can take alot of time.
Please help me if you have any good suggestions or ideas, thank you!
Back to top

oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2015, 11:16 pm
Sorry, that's ridiculous. That is the age where most preschools either stop napping the kids, or offer it as an option. Some kids nap and the other kids play quietly or go outside with the other Morah. Usually by the end of the year all the kids have phased out of their naps. You need to either insist with the Morah, or pick him up before nap time.
Back to top

amother
Lavender


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2015, 11:27 pm
I agree, we both work during the day, and picking him up midday would be extremely difficult. My husband sais pick the lesser of the two evils, and I have no choice but to leave him there. I even threatened the director to come here at nt and deal with him Sad :
Back to top

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2015, 11:40 pm
It is not unreasonable for a 3-year-old to nap during the day. In the government-run preschools/nurseries around here there is a 2-hour nap time all the way through 4 years old (e.g. until they are already turning 5.) Not all the kids fall asleep or sleep the entire time but many do, the others just rest quietly, which is also good. It is developmentally appropriate and I think it's sad that the frum preschools don't have this downtime (the 4-year-old class is kindergarten and they are active all day. I distinctly remember having resting time on cots in kindergarten when I was a kid. I doubt I ever slept but it was resting time.) I have been in preschools with naptime where the teachers kept up certain kids by the parents' request and it was ALWAYS very sad. I have never seen a kid who just didn't need the nap. The morahs are driving both themselves and the kids crazy because the kid is tired and gets increasingly crabby. Like I said, some kids just don't fall asleep but if they are falling asleep it is because they need to. My own 3-year-old mostly doesn't nap but sometimes does, (and has resting time in school even if she doesn't sleep, but it is waaaay less than 2 hours. Maybe 45 minutes) and when she needs it and doesn't do it the day just gets sadder and sadder, and then I have to fight to keep her up later which is even worse because if she is tired and plopping off to sleep at 4-5 PM then the night is REALLY in trouble.

Maybe there is something else you can do at home to help him have better sleep habits at night. What does his bedtime routine look like? What time are you starting it? What is his afternoon activity like before bedtime comes around? What strategies have you tried to help him calm to sleep?
Back to top

amother
Lavender


 

Post Wed, Oct 28 2015, 11:50 pm
Thank you for your response.
It is a government program. The requirment is an hr rest time.Which makes is so sad on him, he quite often lays there for the first 45 mins, and out of boredom will fall asleep, and then the teacher lets him sleep. Sometimes I walk in early around 3 he is still sleeping!
But anyhow, we have the same routine like the others, supper bath quiet time reading bed. The others go to sleep, he becomes hyper causing everyone to stay up later. Hypnotized Speechless
Back to top

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 12:02 am
Maybe the little one can have a somewhat later bedtime. I have done that - she took a nap so she can go to sleep later. Not midnight later, but later enough to stay out of the way while everyone else goes to sleep, and then get her own private bedtime rituals and cuddles.
Back to top

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 12:12 am
Also, if the nap time is an hour and they are letting him continue sleeping after that, I think it is reasonable to ask them to at least try to wake him up when naptime is over. That is very different than not letting a kid sleep at all. No need to just let them sleep forever, they may not decide in their sleep when it's time to wake up.
Back to top

thanks




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 12:46 am
It's really hard when there are teenagers around. I used melatonin for two weeks to get my son on a good sleeping pattern.

Also, many children do this to get their parents attention. Be firm. If your child says he's hungry or thirsty tell them they could have a big drink or a big breakfast in the morning. If you are consistent, and NEVER give in, your child will stop asking.

You can also make a behavior chart with an incentive. If your son stays in bed quietly until the morning he gets a star. Or, if you stay in bed for xx minutes, I will come to the room and put a check on your chart. Then you go in every few minutes and check the chart until they finally fall asleep.
Back to top

Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 3:50 am
My kids all dropped their naps by 2 1/2. If they nap they will be up til at least 9 if not later. That means that they are getting a much smaller stretch of night sleep since they have to be up on time for school.
I feel that 'down time' is fine for such a long day, but actually sleeping for a child of that age is not so healthy and it may be more fore the caregivers convenience.
The little ones can sleep, the older ones can have quiet time, very calm play with dimmed lights.
Day sleep jut messes up his system.
Back to top

water_bear88




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 4:08 am
I vaguely recall "rest time" still in kindergarten (not in NY, so 5-year-olds). I don't think I ever napped, though. We were allowed to sit on on our mats quietly with a book instead if we behaved. Could you ask the teacher if that's an option?
Back to top

Sanguine




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 4:19 am
Three year olds do not need to nap. They need to go to sleep by 7:00. They do need to rest.

It's a government program and these teachers are lazy. They're very happy to have a 2 hour break while all the kids sleep (I'm not saying that a gov't program isn't a good program, but a private ganenet would be more accommodating). These teachers do anything to have the kids sleep as much as possible. It's not so crazy - Did you ever let your 1 year old nap through lunch on Shabbat knowing that you're going to pay for it with no nap for you all afternoon? We these teachers are't the ones to pay here - You are.

Tell the ganenet that you're sending books to gan for your son to look at at naptime (he can be quiet on his cot looking at them). The book might actually put him to sleep (does for me Wink) but it will be so much later, and hopefully he'll actually stay awake till the first child gets up. Then, if naptime is officially till 3:00 start calling the gan at 2:45 and ask them to wake your son then. Other kids will start getting up by then anyway. You want him woken with the first kids regardless of how much he actually slept that day.

One problem with my suggestion... If your son is the hyper drive the ganenet crazy kid (you know) it will be much harder to get them to let him nap less. If he can't look at a book quietly they'll have all the kids up the whole time and they'll stop this book idea.
Back to top

FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 1:16 pm
DD totally outgrew naps by the time she was 2 1/2. If she fell asleep during the day, I knew to check her temperature, as that usually meant she was teething or coming down with something.

I never sleep trained her, but let her set her own schedule. She slept when she needed sleep, and her body knew when it didn't need naps anymore. Even now at age 12, she knows exactly when to get herself to bed.
Back to top

Helani




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 29 2015, 1:53 pm
I had a somewhat similar situation with one of my kids, although she's always been a bit of an insomniac. After about 2, if she took a nap in the afternoon she couldn't settle down at night (often until at least 11pm). Then she would be tired the next day and fall asleep in the car during nap. Then stay up late....etc.
What we found helpful was giving her melatonin at night, for a couple of weeks to help her fall asleep at night. Then she would stay up during the day and have easier time falling asleep in the evening. Eventually that reset her body to a more acceptable schedule.
It's something you might want to ask your doctor about. Just one word of caution...any time you use supplements make sure them have a GMP (good manufacturing practices) stamp. That assures you that they contain exactly what it says on the bottle.
Hatzlacha!
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

Related Topics Replies Last Post
My baby cries himself to sleep
by amother
11 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 3:13 pm View last post
How did you sleep train?
by amother
91 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 2:38 pm View last post
I search Weekly Link every Wednesday at midnight for special
by amother
3 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 1:26 am View last post
Baby sleep cycle 18 Wed, Mar 13 2024, 9:06 am View last post
Sleep training - babysleepmaven 31 Sat, Mar 02 2024, 11:30 pm View last post