Preemie Development - Help a nervous mom!

amother

Blue

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:29 pm

My 35 weeker is now almost 12 weeks (actual) and I am so worried about her development. Two weeks ago, she gave me her first big smile, but since then I saw maybe one or two fleeting ones. She began to focus more (for the first few weeks, it was zero) recently, but I'm still so worried.

Did you have/know a preemie? Can you share your experience?

I made an appt with my ped. for Thursday but panicking until then

TIA

chavs

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:38 pm

I haven't had any preemies so can't advice from that angle I'm really sorry. I did want to tell you that when all of mine smiled for their first time, it took quite a while for the smiles to come every day consistently.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:40 pm

My 32 weeker is now a 7 year old second grader.
She was delayed in everything, and not just by a few weeks. She was delayed by months. She didnt roll over at all, only started eating anything after a year, didnt look at us or focus on a person for many months. And a smile? Most definitely not at 3 months.
A preemie may not catch up to where they are "supposed'' to be for a while.
Hugs to you. I know it can be difficult.

amother

Blue

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:47 pm

OP here, thank you thank you both of u for responding.

Shabbat - you are giving me hope - its just so difficult. The end of the pregnancy was so difficult, then the trauma of the unexpected early birth - I just want to know that she is normal.

amother

Brown

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:53 pm

My DD was born at 34 weeks. She was in the hospital for 12 days. Came home for 3 days and went right back for an additional 3 days.

She is now the most beautiful 3 year old. Attending nursery. She is up to par in everything Baruch HaShem. Everything initially took her a bit longer but in the end she caught up beautifully.

I wish I can send you a picture of her to calm you down. She is actually turning 3 next week and really looking forward to her birthday party in school with her morah.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 3:57 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Do you still think she's delayed or is she regular progress now?? Can you compare her to a regular second grader? And if yes when did she catch up... I also have a 33 week preemie he's a year old now... Thanks for the hope! Also when did she start walking??

Twinster

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 5:08 pm

Please don't think that all preemies have delays.

Yes some do. And now preemies have much better chances than they did years ago. And a 24 week Preemie is not the same as a 35 week Preemie. That's almost full term.

My twins were born at 30 weeks, weighing 2 lbs each. They had no delays. They were even evaluated recently and didn't qualify for therapy. They're preschool age.

Last edited by Twinster on Mon, Nov 02 2015, 5:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

Twinster

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 5:12 pm

Also, just to add,

You need to remember to go by the baby's adjusted age.

My babies may have smiled at 14 weeks. But according to the adjusted age that's just 4 weeks! That's not called delayed. I don't know how much they adjust 35 weekers though.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 6:08 pm

I want to stress Twinsters comment about adjusting age. You have to adjust their age back to their real due date at least until 24 months. Maybe even longer.
My 32 week preemies are now talented fun preteens Baruch Hashem. I never compared their size or development. Though a close family member going through a similar situation always did. And she was so stressed! Personally my preemies more or less caught up most things to their actual birth date by two years. But I always checked them on the charts by two months younger which was their due date. Relax. Enjoy your pintsized miracle. And you and your pediatrician will catch the signs adjusted for age.
Mazal tov!

Queen6

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 8:23 pm

All preemies are different. There is no rule. However the possibilities of being delayed make sense. Keep an eye on her, keep her on her toes. Start from the beginning. Make sure she is on her tummie, lots of interaction, excersizes..... All these things will be very helpful.

dancingqueen

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 8:29 pm

There actually is a rule - adjusted age. Basically preemies aren't expected to follow typical development until age 2 so you should look at your baby as a 7 week old instead of 12. (Subtract the weeks premature). Definitely discuss concerns with your pediatrician and hugs!

eschaya

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 8:41 pm

My 33 week DS initially was delayed, especially in many of his motor skills.
Now at 9 years old he is at the top of his class academically, loves climbing trees and hanging upside down, and shows side effects of having been born early.
I would stop comparing your baby to all other babies (including others of yours) and focus only on this child as an individual in a vacuum.

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 10:10 pm

My preemie was 29 weeks and hes completely fine bh. one thing my mother told me to do was talk to him smile at him, and I believe that helped him alot to catch up

amother

Blue

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 10:45 pm

thank you all for taking the time to calm my nerves. To the amothers who had preemies - did you notice a lag in the beginning that then picked up?

Twinster

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 10:53 pm

amother wrote:

thank you all for taking the time to calm my nerves. To the amothers who had preemies - did you notice a lag in the beginning that then picked up?

It wasn't really a lag in the beginning that picked up.

It's just that in the beginning, there's a smaller window of development. There's a specific time when the baby should start smiling, cooing, rolling, swimming, then sitting, standing, then walking... The older the child gets, the bigger the average window is.

My preemies started walking at 14-15 months (regular, non-adjusted age). That's normal. Had they been full term, they may have done it two months earlier. But since the gap of "normal" is a lot bigger, they later end up fitting in a lot more and averaging out.

That's another reason why they stop adjusting at age 2 (or 1 by some doctors). (Micro preemies may be a different story).

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 02 2015, 11:15 pm

my baby reached his milestones a little bit behind the rest of his siblings, but I was not worried because he was progressing, just at his own pace

Didi

Tue, Nov 03 2015, 2:28 am

My 32wk preemie is now 14Ka"H, I never thought she would get to this age. My two 35wk preemies were only considered preemies for early intervention, otherwise are right on track in 5th and 6th grade. Every baby develops a little differently all within the same time range. If you are that concerned make yourself an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. If you are in Queens I would go to Dr. Jack Levine. In Israel depending where you are they have them through tipat chalav. mazal tov!

mandksima

Tue, Nov 03 2015, 3:46 am

I had a 36 week preemie after 2 24 week micropreemies. I never considered my 36 week one preemie at all, never adjusted the age. I don't remember her lagging behind and she is actually quite advanced since very young. She is now 4 and more like a 6 year old so don't worry. I don't think a few weeks early changes a whole lot for most kids. Maybe because of the huge differences of preemie status between my kids (and there was a full term between these births), I didn't give that much thought or worry to the 36 weeker, but either way, every kid is different and there is no reason to fear for developmental delays with a 35 weeker. Just look out for anything obvious like any kid, even full term, but try not to obsess over every smile or lack of one. Enjoy every step of the way!