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Fair Lawn public school



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amother
Maroon


 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 1:57 am
Hello!
My husband, children, and I are considering a move to Fair Lawn. The Jewish private schools all sounds very impressive (we are MO). But where we currently live, we have children in different places, as one school didn't seem to fit the bill for all of them.
My question is: if either cost or "fit" is a factor for any of our children for the private schooling option, how are the public schools in the area? Do other observant families send children to them? Will the community at large still accept and include us if one, some, or all of our children attend a public school?
I wish that the cost of a good jewish education wasn't so prohibitive!
Thanks you for any information.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 7:29 am
Fair Lawn public schools are fantastic, actually. Many non-Jews want to move to Fair Lawn simply because our school district is so good.

That said, I'd say few if any observant families send to public school unless there's a specific situation (like needing services for a special needs case). There ARE a lot of non-observant Israelis and Russians in Fair Lawn who send to public schools, though, and Conservative population that probably sends to public (at least some of them). So your kid won't be the only Jewish kid.

Fair Lawn is pretty chill and non-judgmental, though. Other than the contingent of very right-wing folk that moved in within the last 2 years (and I can't imagine you'd have much to do with them, honestly), most people probably are okay with whatever you do. I don't really see most of the 'core' of the community casting you aside because you send to public.

Anon obviously because I don't want to give away where I live Smile
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 11:47 am
This is too funny, I was just going to post to ask the same thing! Like, EXACTLY the same thing. I'll be watching this thread. Smile
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coffeecup




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 1:13 pm
Sweet! Smile
Thanks to both of you for your prompt and helpful responses.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 7:29 pm
If you have any other Fair Lawn questions, feel free to ask! Smile I think it's the greatest place to live, obviously, so I'm happy to share the Fair Lawn love!
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coffeecup




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 12:04 am
Thanks amother above!
If we do choose to move there, we will be moving from pretty far away. We have never set foot in Fair Lawn! But our extensive research keeps bringing us back to this place.
Where we currently live, many children go to many different schools... Yet friends are friends and everyone is pretty accepting.
It just seems here that I live amongst very very privileged families. Everyone is always going on extravagant vacations. They drive the best cars. Are able to throw over the top bar/bat mitzvah parties... Which is lovely for them! I just would rather live in a more down - to - earth community where my children don't feel that "keeping up with the joneses" mentality. A community where bullying in schools is low (or appropriately dealt with by staff).
Fair Lawn appears to be a fabulous place. It's close to lots of kosher markets and eateries. Has seemingly great public transit into NYC. And the community seems warm, accepting, and friendly. All of those seem like great reasons to chose Fair Lawn.
But any additional inside scoop info would be well appreciated!
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 7:40 am
All these things are true! Very Happy

One thing I think that draws people to fair lawn is that it has the amenities of bergen county without being Teaneck in the 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality. Honestly, we have people of all different income levels. Nothing is particularly expected. We see all kinds of dress in shul on Shabbos, some women wear sheitels some cover with a hat (in shul only), some men always wear a full suit, some come in dress pants and a nice button down (and all are given aliyot!). Everyone doesn't have the same exact stroller (I recently had someone from another community in the NYC area ask me "which stroller does everyone in fair lawn have?" which I thought was a crazy question! Why would everyone have the same one? We all have different needs and budgets...). Kids go to all different daycares and schools. It's not expected that, at a shabbos meal, you serve a fish and a chicken and a meat and fourteen side dishes. We have a facebook group where everyone is totally willing to lend things out as needed and help out in a pinch.

As for a downside, honestly, the community is too big now that you won't be friends with everyone. But that's okay, because it's also very diverse and you'll probably find you gravitate towards one 'side' or another, and you don't naturally form a bond with some of the people. That's actually a nice thing about a mid-size community, it's not so small you are kind of forced to be friends with everyone, but it's not so big that you get lost in the shuffle. I don't think it's very clique-y in that there are set groups and no one else is allowed in, but there are different "pockets" of people that tend to gravitate towards each other.

Also, I personally am not the biggest fan of the main shul, for personal reasons - I am much more comfortable at the "other" shul, which is smaller but currently undergoing renovations to expand. I know so many people who love the main shul, and so many who are now going to the smaller shul. It's personal preference! People go to both, and the great thing in fair lawn is that you'll get meal invites regardless of what shul you go to. I've gotten invites and invited from both shuls' members. We all live in the same town, why does it matter where we daven? We have a young couple directory that includes everyone, not just members of the 'main' shul.

Another criticism that I hear often (but not super relevant ot us right now) is the housing market has a fair amount of houses right now, but most people are looking to buy houses in a very narrow price point, and there's not so many houses in THAT price point. So either you wait, or you buy something cheaper and renovate. Or you wait, and buy something more expensive because you saved up more. There's this little 'middle ground' window of housing prices that doesn't come up all that often. Also, a LOT of houses are cape cods, which many don't like, and many houses are pretty small unless they have been renovated. There are a lot fewer ready-to-move-in "forever homes" than say Teaneck or Englewood (meaning lots of bedrooms and you could say for 20 years).
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:23 am
Salmon amother: your post above was really interesting. I'm not the OP but am interested to hear more about the community, specifically the Shuls. Can you tell me a little bit about the Shuls/rabbis (hashkafah, observance, community) ? If you'd prefer to Pm me please do. Interested to hear what you like more about the 'other' shul (and which 'other' it is) if you wouldn't mind sharing. Fairlawn recently came up as somewhere that we would consider (after having ruled out so many places for different reasons) and I'm really liking what I hear about diversity and a low key attitude and lifestyle. I also like it's close proximity to my work (in WH) any and all additional info would be appreciated.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:38 am
Having grown up in Bergen county, even though fair lawn is lower key than Teaneck and englewood, your still sending to the same school as those kids, so once they are in elementary you will be paying that high tuition, and their friends will be going on expensive vacations, have expensive toys. It's an expensive place to live even if fair lawn is a hit cheaper.
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:59 am
amother wrote:
Having grown up in Bergen county, even though fair lawn is lower key than Teaneck and englewood, your still sending to the same school as those kids, so once they are in elementary you will be paying that high tuition, and their friends will be going on expensive vacations, have expensive toys. It's an expensive place to live even if fair lawn is a hit cheaper.


Isn't this true everywhere (in the NY area) though? A 'low-key' community in the NY metro area is 'low key' for NY standards, not by OOT standards.

Can you, or anyone, name a community in NY that the above is not true for?
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 6:15 pm
pesek zman wrote:
Salmon amother: your post above was really interesting. I'm not the OP but am interested to hear more about the community, specifically the Shuls. Can you tell me a little bit about the Shuls/rabbis (hashkafah, observance, community) ? If you'd prefer to Pm me please do. Interested to hear what you like more about the 'other' shul (and which 'other' it is) if you wouldn't mind sharing. Fairlawn recently came up as somewhere that we would consider (after having ruled out so many places for different reasons) and I'm really liking what I hear about diversity and a low key attitude and lifestyle. I also like it's close proximity to my work (in WH) any and all additional info would be appreciated.


Both shuls are very much MO. I don't know if it's even worthwhile to talk about observance or hashkafa because I feel like those things are just less relevant in the MO world other than the outliers (like shira chadasha type minyanim and stuff). So, the hashkafa of both is typical MO, it's all the same community so observance is the same: varies within the MO spectrum but we really don't get much more to the right than the RW YU type crowd, very few black hats in either shul, like I said above, you get a mix with women in terms of hair covering and tzniut, as well as shul attendance. The "main" shul (Shomrei Torah) is a bit more right wing than the new shul (Darchei Noam), but I think that is mostly the rabbis leaning one way or another and NOT the congregation. Shomrei Torah is less "egalitarian" for lack of a better word compared to Darchei Noam. There's also a young israel which is by far the most right of all of them, on the other side of town, and Ahavas Achim which is on yet another side of town, and it's an older modern crowd.

There's also a russian shul that I know very little about, and a Chabad (Anshei Lubavitch). People really love the Chabad preschool, but I know nothing about the rabbi or congregation or anything. But I do see the Chabad congregants walking around sometimes (easy to tell especially in the summer, with little girls in long skirts and stockings!).

Is there something specific you want to ask? I'm not really sure where you stand religiously so I don't know if it's a good fit. I just emphasize it's a modern community because I remember a few more yeshivish folks (That probably should have moved to Passaic, not Fair Lawn!) that moved in and were very vocal about their disapproval of how not-yeshivish fair lawn is! It clearly wasn't a very good fit.

I disagree with the other amother slightly. Yeah, tuition will be expensive, but I don't see where you get the expensive vacations/expensive toys thing. That's rather irrelevant to where you live. And if anything, perhaps fair lawners are going on fancy vacations because we save so much in housing costs and taxes? LOL But really, no vacation anyone has went on has been very extravagant, and people buy toys they can afford. (Also don't discount family when it comes to buying toys and such - expensive toys might have come from grandparents, not parents)
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coffeecup




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 10:49 pm
Salmon amother -
THANK YOU so much for such detailed information! It's a scary thought: picking up your family and starting anew in a different city/state/community. But all that you've described about Fair Lawn makes it sound like a place where we would definitely find out niche!
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 11:01 pm
amother wrote:
Both shuls are very much MO. I don't know if it's even worthwhile to talk about observance or hashkafa because I feel like those things are just less relevant in the MO world other than the outliers (like shira chadasha type minyanim and stuff). So, the hashkafa of both is typical MO, it's all the same community so observance is the same: varies within the MO spectrum but we really don't get much more to the right than the RW YU type crowd, very few black hats in either shul, like I said above, you get a mix with women in terms of hair covering and tzniut, as well as shul attendance. The "main" shul (Shomrei Torah) is a bit more right wing than the new shul (Darchei Noam), but I think that is mostly the rabbis leaning one way or another and NOT the congregation. Shomrei Torah is less "egalitarian" for lack of a better word compared to Darchei Noam. There's also a young israel which is by far the most right of all of them, on the other side of town, and Ahavas Achim which is on yet another side of town, and it's an older modern crowd.

There's also a russian shul that I know very little about, and a Chabad (Anshei Lubavitch). People really love the Chabad preschool, but I know nothing about the rabbi or congregation or anything. But I do see the Chabad congregants walking around sometimes (easy to tell especially in the summer, with little girls in long skirts and stockings!).

Is there something specific you want to ask? I'm not really sure where you stand religiously so I don't know if it's a good fit. I just emphasize it's a modern community because I remember a few more yeshivish folks (That probably should have moved to Passaic, not Fair Lawn!) that moved in and were very vocal about their disapproval of how not-yeshivish fair lawn is! It clearly wasn't a very good fit.

I disagree with the other amother slightly. Yeah, tuition will be expensive, but I don't see where you get the expensive vacations/expensive toys thing. That's rather irrelevant to where you live. And if anything, perhaps fair lawners are going on fancy vacations because we save so much in housing costs and taxes? LOL But really, no vacation anyone has went on has been very extravagant, and people buy toys they can afford. (Also don't discount family when it comes to buying toys and such - expensive toys might have come from grandparents, not parents)


Thank you for writing in such detail. I appreciate it.

I didn't realize there was a Young Israel there. It sounds like you don't daven there but I'm interested in your description of it as more RW. I wonder if (you or) other other Fair Lawn residents know a bit more about it and wouldn't mind expounding.
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