Toys for kids who "destroy" toys

amother

Lime

Sat, Nov 07 2015, 10:45 pm

I have kids ages 2 through 6. We have lots of toys, but I feel like all my kids do is throw them around, lose all the pieces and break them.
If I play with or sit with them with Lego or straw builders, they will play ok, but Its impossible for me to sit with them all the time.

My 4 and 6 year old complain that they don't like their toys and they have nothing to do.

Any ideas, either of toys to keep them entertained with minimal supervision, that won't be thrown all over the place, or a way to keep things from being destroyed? Its not even my 2 yr old that destroys them. Its usually the 6 year old...

I've tried locking up the toys with lots of pieces and making them ask first, but 6 yr old dd somehow managed to get in the there anyway!

Iymnok

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 3:19 am

SorGold wrote:

I am going to assume you mean boys...so O wont mention dolls...
Clics, magnatiles or lego cant really be broken all that easily but can be thrown around...

I have girls, they do the same thing.
I am not getting them toys with lots of pieces until I have a storage solution and a system for them.

amother

Black

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 7:58 am

I don't think there are any toys that can solve your problem. If your 4 and 6 year old haven't learned how to play nicely with toys buying more toys certainly won't help. You have to teach them that throwing toys around is not ok and teach them to clean up when they make a mess. Can you take most on their toys away and limit it to one or two until they show they can behave responsibly with toys?

When my 3 yr old refuses to clean or acts destructively she knows there are consequences. Kids can be wild at times but by those ages they should know right from wrong when playing with toys.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 8:02 am

Caring for toys is a teachable skill, and a valuable one.

The number one reason toys and games get messed up is when they are not cleaned up before the next one is taken out.

If you don't have the time to do it yourself, could you hire a sitter/mother's help make it happen? You can reinforce with rewards and praise for good put-away jobs. This also will help with the (possibly unrealistic) expectation that they will entertain themselves nicely on their own.

It's also helpful to rotate stock, putting away some toys for a time so that they generate new interest when they come out.

All that being said, soft (but not foam) balls, minibaskets, nerf catapult, blocks, well made toy cars, magnatiles, indoor tents 'n' tunnel set are all sturdy and popular.

ETA: Black amother, I see we cross posted the same thought.

amother

Lime

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 8:18 am

Thanks for the responses. My 6 year old is a girl. She has zero empathy for broken or lost toys. (it could be because she has a sensory processing disorder).
She is able to clean up, but it's a huge challenge for her to do anything I ask of her, ever. In school, the teachers say she is really good at clean up time, and I'm like, "your talking about my kid?"

The two younger ones are boys, and they learn from older dd. When she isn't around, they play and clean up nicely. Obviously I assist the 2 year old with clean up.

I have a harder time sitting with them at play time, because dd is so careless with her things, that I don't like watching her play. I end up just trying to redirect what she's doing the whole time.

Anyway dd is a bit of a separate issue, but I'm wondering what Would be good for my younger boys. 4 year old says his Freinds toys are better, but I think our toys are similar to his freinds. We have magnatiles, duplos, cars, trucks, etc.

sneakermom

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 9:48 am

If your daughter has a sensory issue she would benefit from wet, mushy, squishy, sandy, type of activities. Forget toys.

Play dough, paints, water play by the sink, sand tray or a tray filled with rice to find treasures you hide inside.

Outdoor play. Let her roll down hills, stompe leaves, swim or in winter play in the snow.

Do some deep compressions on her. Tight hugs or make a sandwich out of her using pillows.

She can use cushions and pillows to make forts. Or for any imaginative play.

Save the better toys for when she knocked herself out already with the other activities. Limit it to a half hour. Then conduct clean up time.

DrMom

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:07 am

How about some sort of sturdy foam blocks? That way if they throw them, at least it won't hurt anyone.
http://www.toysrus.com/buy/bui.....73792

I agree that some children need to be taught how to play nicely. It doesn't always come naturally.

Make clean-up an integral part of playing.

sourstix

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:14 am

even though she has sensory issues. she still needs to learn and be disciplined not to throw toys and break them. and packing away is part of it. she needs discipline then she wont be making such a mess. she is smart. she is able to control herself. for the times she is disruptive have her do quiet stuff. looking at pictures in books,painting, playdough... but she definitely needs to learn its not ok to break or throw.
if u think I am wrong then please explain

amother

Lime

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:22 am

Your right about her needing to not throw and break things. We try rewards/punishment, but she doesn't care. The only punishment that has any effect is putting her in her room, and then she doesn't clean. Rewards help her start a task, but she truly doesn't finish the task.

We have he class timers so she can see how much time she has. She hates taking breaks when she needs them, so it rules her up more. If I let her color /paint as a calming activity, she gets the supplies everywhere.... There are all issues we are working on with ot....

sourstix

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:28 am

what wrong if she cleans up half and the other kids the other half? its better then nothing. she needs to see that what she does is worthwhile. dont be perfectionist on her. she should know she needs to cleanup. even if not perfect. if she throws toys she gets to go to her room for as long as she needs and when she comes out she needs to cleanup. I dont know if rewards are the best. in the begining its ok but not all the time.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 2:45 pm

Kids that aren't interested in toys suddenly become interested when someone gives them quality attention. Just like you don't like going to the park as much when you don't know anyone there, they don't like pieces of plastic as much when you aren't there with them. I know this is not what you asked--you wanted to know how they can be stimulated without you. I am sorry to say that from my experience, when a kid has lot of attention and love, they can play with anything. When they feel like that is missing, not even the fanciest most desirable toy on the market will do the trick. If necessary, read up on DIR or schedule a session or two. There is a correct way to PLAY with your kids to make them feel valued, loved, and attached to you. Kids are in school so much of the time, the little time they are home they need this necessary bonding. When kids do abnormal things, it means something in their lives is out of order--they are not getting enough love from you, they are being bullied in school, their social life is stressful etc.
I've got very active boys who used to destroy everything. We went for DIR and learned how to really bond. It turned out that one of my boys in particular was going through a very stressful time in school and I had no idea. He also felt like I didn't love him. DIR taught me how to maintain eye contact and get into the child's world and care about what he cared about. It taught me to really pay attention and become the figure my son would want to confide in. Now...they play completely normally and never destroy anything. It took three months and that's it.

imasinger

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 3:04 pm

Forestgreen said some good things.

Have you had opportunity to get any parent training? Even though I had 20 years as a parent, I still found it very beneficial when dealing with my youngest and sensory issues.

Rewards do work if you know how to do it effectively. You can try using the timer and offering her a reward if she beats it with her cleanup. Start with a sure win situation, so she sees she can succeed, and gradually up the ante.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Nov 08 2015, 5:53 pm

http://www.icdl.com/DIR
Basically it is following the kid's lead and building up social skills and attachment with the parent, building other skills like self-esteem, and depending on the child's difficulty, can develop other specific skills. The play is done in a very positive, happy environment where the kid feels empowered to lead and make choices and feel safe to talk about anything that they want to.