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rimon613
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 Sat, Nov 07 2015, 11:56 pm
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That can help someone figure out why she isn't pregnant yet
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mommy3b2c
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Sat, Nov 07 2015, 11:59 pm
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I think the person your looking for is a reproductive endocrinologist. A rav can give a bracha that she should get pregnant.
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happyfaces
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 12:05 am
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Do you mean a rav that Can help with medical advice?
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amother
Jade
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 12:08 am
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Rabbi gissinger in Lakewood though he is hard to reach
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 1:02 am
| rimon613 wrote: | | That can help someone figure out why she isn't pregnant yet | how would a rav know this? S person who is not getting pregnant has to be seen by a MEDICAL professional, not a rav.
Bu come join us in the infertility forum and if you say where your friend is we can hopefully guide you to some wonderful REs.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 1:52 am
I think I know what you mean.
I have a friend who did not have kids for a very long time. IVF a couple of times. Nothing worked.
She saw a mekubal who asked her if she ever hurt somebody in her life. Gave some specifics. She asked that person for mechila and she had a baby not long after.
Also I know somebody who skipped a sibling by getting married first and didn't ask permission. The one that got married first didn't have kids for a couple of years. Until he went to a rav who told him to ask said sibling for mechila and 9 months later he had a baby.
I know all this first hand. Not bubba maisos as they say.
Anon cuz both of them are close family members if anybody from my family is here and might recognize me.
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amother
Brown
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 1:59 am
Please don't even bother with this.
I have gone to a famous makubal/rav who told me "reasons" and "tips" on how to fix. That didn't work.
So we went to an RE, did Ivf, and "saw a yeshua".
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amother
Amethyst
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 8:09 am
| amother wrote: | | She saw a mekubal who asked her if she ever hurt somebody in her life. Gave some specifics. She asked that person for mechila and she had a baby not long after. |
You mean to tell me that all those couples out there having children have never hurt another person?
| amother wrote: | | Also I know somebody who skipped a sibling by getting married first and didn't ask permission. The one that got married first didn't have kids for a couple of years. Until he went to a rav who told him to ask said sibling for mechila and 9 months later he had a baby. |
Most people who have had younger siblings get married before them will agree that the "asking permission" part is ceremonial. The older sibling is expected to readily give her blessing to the younger sibling, whether she feels ready or not.
So I don't get this.
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amother
Mint
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 8:30 am
I didn't mean anything by this. I just figured that this is what the OP was asking about.
Everybody has hurt somebody once in awhile. Yes. But if that person still bears a grudge after awhile then there is something to it. You don't have to believe this. It's ok. But I have seen it first hand.
I was taught in school that if another person bears a grudge then there is a קפידה against them up there.
I am not saying that this is why somebody hasn't had kids till now. But when medical intervention doesn't work, then does it really hurt to find out if someone needs to ask mechila?
In the case of the brother asking the sister for mechila cuz he skipped her, the sister made fun of him. She said of course I forgave you. But he asked her to please say it. This happened years ago, and yes, the sister was very hurt. Because not only did he not ask but she found out about his engagement from the neighbor. He was living in a different country at the time and didn't have a chance to ask her. But it definitely hurt.
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Maya
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 8:40 am
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There is no way another person, no matter how big a mekubal he is, can know why things happen. If he happens to get a few details of a story right, it's because of chance, or more likely, he taps into the few details that is certain to exist in all such situations.
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amother
Mustard
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 9:24 am
| Maya wrote: | | There is no way another person, no matter how big a mekubal he is, can know why things happen. If he happens to get a few details of a story right, it's because of chance, or more likely, he taps into the few details that is certain to exist in all such situations. |
No way? Why is that? Are you a rabbi yourself that you know? Someone that devotes themselves in torah and telliem all day. And he's higher in rechnius then the average person can ask and give advice when someone is in a tzura. Theres is differently something about safur tzadikium.
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Maya
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 9:36 am
| amother wrote: | | No way? Why is that? Are you a rabbi yourself that you know? Someone that devotes themselves in torah and telliem all day. And he's higher in rechnius then the average person can ask and give advice when someone is in a tzura. Theres is differently something about safur tzadikium. |
Giving advice is way different than professing to know the absolute truth as to why some people are suffering. Anyone who does that is a fraud because God has not revealed Himself and His cheshbonot to anyone.
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amother
Black
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 10:13 am
| amother wrote: | I didn't mean anything by this. I just figured that this is what the OP was asking about.
Everybody has hurt somebody once in awhile. Yes. But if that person still bears a grudge after awhile then there is something to it. You don't have to believe this. It's ok. But I have seen it first hand.
I was taught in school that if another person bears a grudge then there is a קפידה against them up there.
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I currently hold grudges against a few people who hurt me badly. I'm working on it, and maybe one day I won't. In the meantime, I've had 2 kids in 3 years b"H.
I know plenty of infertile people who are a lot nicer than me, and probably forgive a lot easier than I do too. And would certainly be better mothers.
Who are we to decide why someone is not deserving?
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zaq
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 10:51 am
| amother wrote: | I currently hold grudges against a few people who hurt me badly. I'm working on it, and maybe one day I won't. In the meantime, I've had 2 kids in 3 years b"H.
I know plenty of infertile people who are a lot nicer than me, and probably forgive a lot easier than I do too. And would certainly be better mothers.
Who are we to decide why someone is not deserving? |
You miss the point entirely. The rav told the woman that SHE had hurt someone who is holding a grudge. We assume the grudge-holder will be punished in her own time in her own way for transgressing the prohibition of holding a grudge, but we have no evidence that she is infertile. The infertile women was directed to seek the forgiveness of the grudge-holder, whose feelings are presumably justified and therefore being used in the Heavenly court as a cause to deny the grudgee the blessing of a child. Don't you know that that is the rationale behind belief in "ayin hara"? Not that a person can actually cause bad things to happen, but that her resentment, if justified, mobilizes Middat haDin to punish you for whatever wrongs you have done.
What I would like to know is why is the assumption that the WOMAN is to blame, simply because she was the one who brought the question. It takes two to make a baby*, and absent evidence of the husband's fertility, such as his having already fathered a child, why do we assume that he has nothing to do with the problem? Perhaps it is her husband who has done someone wrong and not she at all.
Kabbalists and rabbis should never be confused with medical practitioners. While there is no harm in doing teshuvah, giving tzedakah and asking forgiveness from people one has hurt, one should not be somech al hanes, either. Make an appointment with an RE, then go beg someone's forgiveness.
*three, counting the KBH, but He is not the one with the problem.
Last edited by zaq on Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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GGitty
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 10:56 am
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Call the the leluver rebbe he lives on 50 st between 18 and 19 Ave in Bp.
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sourstix
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:06 am
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rimon I am confused as to why you would go to a rav with infertility. I wish icould help. I dont know anyone. I do know that the tosher dayan in bp is really big in bonei olam. he is very well versed in infertility and he is a rav. is this what you mean? or do you want a mekubal that can help with segulos? please clarify
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Amarante
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:30 am
Seems very simplistic to think that there is such causal relationship between one thing and another.
Terrible people breed like rabbits and wonderful people go through agonies and expense and fail to conceive.
With medical stuff, sometimes science can figure out why and provide a cure. But otherwise, it's the great mystery of man. Who can ever know why good things happen or bad things happen. There are things one can do to help prevent bad things like making sure you have good brakes or tires but you still can be plowed down by a drunk driver through no fault of your own.
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GGitty
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 11:31 am
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Its seems like she wants a spiritual Rav, not a technical Halachic or Medicinal advise. But most certainly she is not looking for a lengthy argument about it, so lets help a fellow jew out,wont we?
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amother
Black
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Sun, Nov 08 2015, 2:04 pm
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OK zaq, but the person I hold a grudge against has also had a couple kids in the past few years. (The other is a man.)
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