HELP! 10 mos and never sleeps!

pesek zman

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 3:22 pm

Bellamom wrote:

Op here
I nurse him to sleep or rock him to sleep. He doesn't drink from zippy cup by himself so that won't work and doesn't cuddle anything. I can't do cry it out cuz my hubby and I decided to never do that.

No one is suggesting 'cry it out'. Read up on the Ferber method.

If you nurse or rock him to sleep he will never learn to fall asleep on his own. It's time for him to learn or you will be posting in a year from now with the same problem, only worse since you'll be sleep deprived for another year (and so will he!) teaching him to sleep is a skill he will use his entire life. Shift your thinking so this this makes sense for you.

If you decline all these suggestions and choose just to accept sympathy and commiseration than you are digging your own grave.

luppamom

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 3:56 pm

pesek zman wrote:

This! This! This! From your OP, it sounds like he has bad sleep habits. He's not a little baby anymore that needs to eat in the middle of the night. It's better not only for you BUT FOR HIM for him to sleep through the night! Basically, you are teaching him to wake-up. It's part of his routine.

He's already 10 mos. old. It's not going to be easy to change all the bad habits. It likely will involve crying if you want it to be effective quickly. (I do know that there are non-cry methods like Whisperer like I mentioned, but I've heard they take longer.) Ferber's method works in intervals. It's not like you let them scream for hours straight. IIRC, it's 3 mins. of crying and then you come and check on him and reassure him w/o taking him out. The intervals slowly get longer over days.

You can make up your own methods too. The main part is that he learns how to put himself to sleep and stay asleep.

chavs

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:06 pm

I've never done any crying out or what's known as controlled crying either (as in crying for a few minutes going in settling them, going away again, leaving more time going back etc). What worked well with mine was to stop nursing at night at this age and cuddle them back to sleep again. He might occasionally wake up from a bad dream but he doesn't wake up because he is expecting to nurse so is sleeping much sounder now.

We had my husband take him at night when we started, as that just worked better for us. I know other ppl where the mum takes them, cuddles them and just keep repeating that there is no nursing now, it's sleep time. It can take a few weeks of a lot of crying but in mummy's arms, little sleep for you but ultimately worth it if that's the route you want to take.

luppamom

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:16 pm

chavs wrote:

I think here ferber is what's called controlled crying btw, which is as I said something I've never done. There are ways to physically be there with your child comforting them while moving towards better / more sleep.

aka Baby Whisperer

pickle321

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:18 pm

I personally do not recommend putting baby to sleep with a sippy cup. Your replacing one problem with another. Soon you'll be posting on how to get ur child to go to sleep without needing a sippy cup.

What I did was, I made sure to never nurse immediately before sleep I would nurse give a bath, read a book then sleep. That way they are not associating sleeping with eating/drinking. Then eventually when I stopped nursing it was a sippy cup, bath book bed. Routine is really key.

I also used the baby whisperers pick up put down method and stuck to the E.A.S.Y method. All this made a huge difference. Baby went from not going to sleep without being nursed or rocked for hours till 11 to going to sleep on her own at 7 and sleeping for 12 hours straight and also went from taking 30 min naps to two hour naps.

luppamom

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:25 pm

pickle321 wrote:

I think this depends on the kid. I have heard from others that sippies helped them, but then my SIL was giving bottles of water (same idea as the sippy) and her daughter just wanted more and more and then woke up from wet diapers.

Overall, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm thirsty. Makes sense that she also gets thirsty. If the only way to quench the thirst is to cry to Mommy to come nurse, then that's what they'll do. (Overall, I think this is much more of an issue in the summer, although, I have little experience w/ heat, but I could imagine it would also be drying.)

I think it's an idea to try, but I don't think it's a solution for all.

pickle321

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:32 pm

luppamom wrote:

Agreed you just have to know if the kid is actually thirsty or has just gotten used to only falling back asleep with a drink. If it's the latter it's not worth the problem your sister in law mentioned which I've heard from many other people also. I will say though that sippy cups are much better than bottles because kids become much more attached to the bottle and the sucking and it could be a real battle to get rid of the bottle when they're three. Personally I like switching to sippy cups as soon as they stop nursing.

Bellamom

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 6:51 pm

Op here
He wakes up every 1/2 hour even when not thirsty to nurse in the beginning and I've tried rubbing his back and not picking him in and he just screams louder until I pick him up and rock him.
I'm going to research the Ferber method but my baby can't cry too much cuz of toddler.

chavs

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 7:19 pm

luppamom wrote:

aka Baby Whisperer

That's one way, personally I find it easier to lie down with mine.
We did baby whisperer with our first and while he slept through more or less much earlier than the others it was more stressful. Lying down with them, to me is much easier.

chavs

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 7:22 pm

Bellamom wrote:

It can take a while of being consistent with not nursing but still comforting, it's not a one or two night solution. It does work ime and it works while still showing your baby that you are there for them comforting them through their tears.

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 7:33 pm

Maybe a Nuk pacifier? Back rubbing doesn't help with his need to suck.

Could he be in a growth spurt and need both more water and more food?

Could his guts be adjusting to a solid food? Maybe not reacting well to some food?

10 months is still very much a baby yet. You have three months to go and things will be rather different.

Hugs. Try to nap when he does.

Bellamom

Thu, Nov 12 2015, 9:12 pm

OP here
thankx all for you suggestions and tips. When he wakes up, he screams and screams. He doesn't take a paci anymore, I keep on trying to give it to him but he just spits it out. If he slept for more than 2 hours, the only thing that will calm him is nursing. Since I'm so tired, I usually give in cuz I want to sleep also but I know it's a vicious cycle and now I would really like to break it before he gets too big and I can't walk around with him for such a long time.
He's been sleeping terribly since he was 6 months old, he's now 10 months old. I went to the Dr. and asked if anything was wrong and she said no. I don't nap with him cuz I call him the 1/2 hour wonder cuz that's how long his naps are. cukoo I know

bigblueyes

Fri, Nov 13 2015, 2:04 am

For his naps, have you tried wake to sleep? Although its really thr same problem as his night sleep, he doesnt know how to transition thru a sleep cycle without you so he is cutting his naps waaaay short. At 10 months he should be doing 2 naps a day, at least an hour each for the most part.
Wake to sleep really helped us with naps, read up on it!

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Nov 13 2015, 2:21 am

Yes.

You might also talk to another doctor. "Nap with him?" Sleep when he sleeps, sure, but not in the same bed.

He may be hungry or dehydrated when he insists on nursing and spits out the paci. See if he will take a bottle. Formula at 10 months, if it is a good kind, isn't the end of the world. Giving a baby what he needs if you can't make enough milk is no crime. I've done it and the kid is married.

pickle321

Fri, Nov 13 2015, 4:18 am

chavs wrote:

Of course it's easier but that doesn't mean it's better. It is much better for your baby to learn to sleep on his own. I used the baby whisperer method. I really suggest the op reads her book and in a week from now she and baby will be much happier and well rested. Seriously stop being lazy and just do it. Take turns with your husband for a few nights a couple hours each and then you won't have this problem for the next two years because yes it's not going to get better on its own when the baby is a little bigger. You need to help him learn to sleep. Stop giving in and just do it.

iluvfood

Fri, Nov 13 2015, 4:42 am

I also thought it was easier to "protect" my older toddler and not allow the baby to cry so as not to disturb her. It took until my baby was a year that I realised she is never going to sleep well and settle well unless I decide I will have a hard week with both kids up all night. Its wasnt even as hard as I expected. I had two hard nights and then it went so much better. Looking back I realise it was such I shame I waited so long.
I did the Ferber Method and it really works.