Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Moving/ Relocating
What does "out of town" mean?
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Purple


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 3:44 pm
What does out of town really mean? What are the character traits of an out of town community?

I come from a very "in town" community in NY. I've lived there all my life and began my married life there for various (short term) reasons. But now, with my expanding family, we'd very much like to move to somewhere low key and warm (emotionally, not the weather!) I always hear about out of town being low key-- but what else makes it "out of town" ?
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:02 pm
Anywhere other than Brooklyn LOL
Back to top

Cookie Monster




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:07 pm
Are there Jews living outside of Brooklyn? shock
Back to top

notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:11 pm
A small, warm, closer nit community with a sense of community
Back to top

nyer1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:13 pm
(not brooklyn)
Back to top

Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:14 pm
To be honest I don't think it means anything. I grew up OOT and lived in NYC most of my married life. I raised my kids here. There are warm friendly people and cold nasty people everywhere. You just need to find the right types. I do want to move out so we can have more space, not because I dislike the people or community. Not to mention that many people in nyc did not grow up here and you will find NY transplants in OOT communities.
Back to top

Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:15 pm
Not Monsey or Lakewood either.
Back to top

amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:15 pm
Outside of NY.
Back to top

amother
Lavender


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:34 pm
I grew up in Manhattan- it certain ways it was Jewishly out of town even though secular people wouldn't think so.
I think of in town as large Jewish Community probably in NY/NJ.
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 4:35 pm
Jeanette wrote:
To be honest I don't think it means anything. I grew up OOT and lived in NYC most of my married life. I raised my kids here. There are warm friendly people and cold nasty people everywhere. You just need to find the right types. I do want to move out so we can have more space, not because I dislike the people or community. Not to mention that many people in nyc did not grow up here and you will find NY transplants in OOT communities.

I liked your post, but I agree with you partly. The part that it doesn't mean anything, I don't agree with. Everything else I do. The difference is size. OOT usually has 2-3 communities, but in Brooklyn, a community is a block or congregants from a shul, or parent body from a school. From that, how many blocks, shuls, and schools do you have "in town"?!
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 5:17 pm
I agree there are unpleasant people everywhere. But I think in a small community every family makes a difference. Schools are not usually oversubscribed so your kids will be welcome. The principal will know your kids names. People will be excited that there is a new family in town. Etc.
Back to top

Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 5:20 pm
yo'ma wrote:
I liked your post, but I agree with you partly. The part that it doesn't mean anything, I don't agree with. Everything else I do. The difference is size. OOT usually has 2-3 communities, but in Brooklyn, a community is a block or congregants from a shul, or parent body from a school. From that, how many blocks, shuls, and schools do you have "in town"?!


This is true too. Unless you're part of a group it can be lonely living in NYC. Lots of people fall through the cracks. In NYC ppl don't go to simchos unless you're family or very close. OOT you don't think twice about going to a simcha, you don't have to weigh whether you "belong" there or not.

But the idea that there's a NY personality and an OOT personality is what I find bogus.
Back to top

Happydance




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 6:20 pm
pleasant, friendly, not-so competitive, not-so-materialistic..
are just some of the charterer traits you may find out of town
Back to top

yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 6:37 pm
rlm wrote:
pleasant, friendly, not-so competitive, not-so-materialistic..
are just some of the charterer traits you may find out of town

And in town.

I think it's more of what Jeanette said.
Back to top

Cookie Monster




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 7:11 pm
[quote="Cookie Monster"]Are there Jews living outside of Brooklyn? shock[/quote


I assume the hugs were from people who actually thought I was serious Very Happy
Back to top

justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 7:17 pm
Saying good shabbos. Serving on plastic and it being ok. Community involvement in shul. Bringing baked goods to your neighbors, even if they are down the block. Less emphasis on the way people dress. Tichels acceptable in shuls. These are some of the things that I see as "being out of town."
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 8:25 pm
I think a big difference in many OOT communities is that because all types of frum Jews live near each other and need to share resources, often including schools, there is more mixing and less polarity. This breeds more tolerance in most things, including dress and activities, because there's such a variety in what people do. It also reduces peer pressure on brands.

Example:

When I was a kid in a decent sized OOT community, there was one skirt we all had, but that was because it was the only skirt Sears sold that went past the knee. Some girls had to wear knee socks, some wore none. Then I went to sleep away camp.

In one, nobody cared about brands but I had girls celebrating that their mothers were letting them wear knee highs in camp instead of their usual tights. In the other camp, I learned that if your sweatshirt wasn't a Champion, why own it? People would call across the bunk, "Can I borrow your purple Champion?"
Back to top

Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 9:41 pm
For me, it means Hamilton, Ontario Canada 💜💜💜💜💜
Back to top

amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 10:33 pm
amother wrote:
I think a big difference in many OOT communities is that because all types of frum Jews live near each other and need to share resources, often including schools, there is more mixing and less polarity. This breeds more tolerance in most things, including dress and activities, because there's such a variety in what people do. It also reduces peer pressure on brands.

Example:

When I was a kid in a decent sized OOT community, there was one skirt we all had, but that was because it was the only skirt Sears sold that went past the knee. Some girls had to wear knee socks, some wore none. Then I went to sleep away camp.

In one, nobody cared about brands but I had girls celebrating that their mothers were letting them wear knee highs in camp instead of their usual tights. In the other camp, I learned that if your sweatshirt wasn't a Champion, why own it? People would call across the bunk, "Can I borrow your purple Champion?"


So true. When I lived REALLY OOT all the girls were friends. Even if a year or two older/younger. Even if you were Chabad, Misnagid (I mean that in the sense that they don't do anything remotely chassidish), sefardi, Ashkenazi, Yeshivish, MO, BT, FFB, Ger or anywhere else on the spectrum... I mean the entire spectrum: you don't watch even Uncle Moishe to you watch anything on daytime TV. Growing up I didn't understand that it was a "thing" that you aren't friends because of someone's differences. You were friends because you were frum and there weren't too many frum families. I was shocked when I was in a big city and went to school there.
Then I went to NY/NJ. A girl I was babysitting was playing dolls and decided one went to her school and another went to another frum school. AND that doll wasn't Jewish because she went there. WOAH... I definitely tried correcting her. ("But they allow the girls to not wear tights and only knee socks! But some girls watch Disney!"). And amazed people weren't friends because of the wrong shoe/backpack/sweatshirt.

True OOT communities cherish each and every member. Even if you wouldn't eat in their house, your kids might still have playdates (and families tend to understand that you only eat X hechsher or cholov yisroel or whatnot)- They will definitely be in the same class! They count on everyone being there for a minyan, for a chasunah, for a simcha.
Yes, there are communities in between- some are bigger so each member doesn't feel the same connection and responsibility to show up. Its a large continuum...

When you have such a high density of people as NY, you cannot possibly be friends with everyone. So you make cutoffs and decisions because, well, people are in essence replaceable (C"V!! I don't believe that but that was the aura I got). I don't have to be friends with you because there are 23 other kids my age on the block and you go to the other school and are wearing nerdy shoes. Compare that to "there are only 10 kids in the entire community my age. So we are all friends because how else will we have a birthday party or play machanayim?"
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Nov 12 2015, 11:00 pm
Lilac amother, YES. I was amazed when my NY friend told me that she had frum neighbors two blocks away that she didn't know. I could not comprehend that. And I grew up on a block that was more frum than not. But we were all kinds.

I think this is part of what people meanwhile they say certain NY or NJ areas are less "in town" or more "In town". That, and the availability of apparently basic resources like sock stores.

There are definitely OOT places that are more "in town"ish too. Not quite to the same extent, but if you are looking for that nice whole-community feel, I would look at smaller places vs places like Baltimore and Chicago. But they would be great places to go if you like having lots of resources and broader choices but you want to lighten things up a little.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Moving/ Relocating

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Pesach out-of-town tips
by amother
7 Yesterday at 8:26 pm View last post
Where to get 44"/48" mattresses/platform beds 1 Yesterday at 10:33 am View last post
Does anybody use "the pink stuff"?
by tweety1
11 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 2:47 pm View last post
"Tipping" teachers
by amother
6 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:27 pm View last post
What does galgalim mean?
by amother
5 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:23 pm View last post