Now what... | Imamother

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 1:26 pm

Just spoke with teen dd principal telling him we are pulling her from school because of bullying. He totally understood- very gracious, but he asked if he could think about it overnight. He started coming up with an idea that instead of just closing the door on the school maybe dd could take a break from being in school, like someone who has mono or something and all work will be sent home to her and this way we can reevaluate in a few months and not have to reopen her file etc. if she decides to return or worry about credits etc.
The thoughts going on in my mind as he is saying all of this..
1) dd is done with these girls, no way she is going to come back
2) so nice of him to try to keep the door open for her
3) if he sends the work home, then I will essentially be doing the homeschooling- if I am doing that I may as well pick the topics and create the curriculum I want her to learn and fill in the gaps she has missed over the years.
4) he is trying to grab back the $15, 000 or so by keeping her on the record that I could put to good use for her in different ways. ( he isn't like that about money at all, but I felt if I took her out then the money would be in our pocket to use.)

WWYD- would you entertain this idea of having all work sent home and re-evaluate while dd regroups ie therapy- thoughts?

myself

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 1:36 pm

Honestly I think it's a very kind offer. Why don't you give it a trial period of say, a month, and see how it goes? Don't commit to anything just yet but allow yourself the time to consider other options before closing that door.

Wishing you the best of luck!

Rebesq

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 2:14 pm

First of all I'm so sorry. At a certain age we expect our kids to act a bit better. Certainly by HS. Good luck moving forward. From a purely financial perspective (NOT because I think its the most important but simply bc I don't know your daughter or all the details so I can't make an informed comment) you should have in writing toThe school (email) that she is being pulled bc the school is not a safe environment for her. Otherwise at this point in time you may still have to pay the entire tuition. my schools use FACTS and nov 15 is too late to get any refund and we would have to pay it all. Obviously if school is not safe then you should b able to get $$$ back. Hatzlacha on all fronts.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 2:34 pm

I agree it is a very generous offer- this principal would do anything for his students- but dd has less than zero desire to have anything to do with these kids. So what is the benefit for me to teach her what she is missing in school?

imasinger

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 3:49 pm

My motto is never burn bridges.

If you don't have a place for her to go to, accept his offer while you find one. It will look better for her and for you where another school is concerned; it shows that you are reasonable and willing to cooperate.

And it doesn't hurt anything.

Once she is settled, you can tell him so.

Hugs, knowing your child has been bullied is as painful for a mother as it is for the victim.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 4:53 pm

The school is dealing with the bullying (although not exactly how I would do it) I think I mentioned before it has been going on for a long time by different kids in subtle ways. I always blamed my dd thinking she was overly sensitive , miscommunication, dan lk'v zchus etc. until she really started sharing with me. Don't want her to have to wait around for the school to figure out how to solve the issue.
When I spoke to the principal I expressed lots of hakaras hatov and told him at this point I don't blame the school. There are other schools in the area, but we don't mesh hashkafically with them. I am looking into homeschooling, which I can pretty much start in a week or 2 once I look into my states homeschool laws. Lots of people in my neighborhood are doing it for various reasons and there are lots of resources here.
I just looked at my tuition agreement and if I understand it correctly it looks like as long as I let the billing office know in writing they will stop billing us. Hoping it is that simple.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 4:54 pm

studying_torah wrote:

I'm so sorry that you're dealing w this! Just one question, is the school not dealing w the bullies ? Why does your dd need to leave the school, maybe the bullies should leave for a while.
Just seems so unfair.

If only !

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 5:04 pm

The Tuition charge is prorated as the number of months the
student attended plus a surcharge of two (2) times the effective
monthly rate. The monthly rate is ten percent (10%) of the
annual tuition charge. The number of months attended includes
the full month in which the student withdraws.

Here is part of the tuition agreement- anyone actually understand what this means???????

groisamomma

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 5:17 pm

amother wrote:

You pay tuition in ten installments so each one is 10% of the total. Since you say you pay $15,000 annually, the monthly payment is $1,500.

If you are taking DD out, you pay for all the months she was there (Sept, Oct, Nov--you count a full month for Nov even if she left mid-month) so that's 3 months @ $1500 each= $4,500. The additional surcharge penalty, if you will) is twice the monthly payment so the surcharge here is $3,000.

Add the tuition and surcharge and you owe the school $7,500 for DD this year.

I wish you much Hatzlacha in dealing with this. Hug

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 6:20 pm

groisamomma wrote:

Thank you!! I actually think this is fair.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Nov 16 2015, 6:22 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Once yoiu area having work sent home, just go through your local PS

It's free, ( well your taxes pay for it) and if you live in an affluent area it will be better than your school now

good thought- but dd would totally be eaten alive and overwhelmed by the public school kids and the massive school compared to what she has now.