Job choice - vent!

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Forum -> Working Women

Job choice - vent!

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amother

Jetblack

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 12:07 am

I would say I am lucky to have two jobs to choose from and shouldn't complain, but this is after being out of work a while and through a lot of stressful almost-jobs and false starts so don't worry about me having it too easy. But somehow it always seems to come to this - that after having nothing for so long and getting desperate, two things come up at the same time and I have to make a choice within hours and it's a total tie and I don't know what to do!
I work as a fee-for-service provider, meaning I get different cases and get paid by the hour.

Job #1:
+Based on location, so all cases in one place.
+Guaranteed full caseload available immediately, but I'd need to be ready to accept immediately.
+Place looks amazing, positive environment, nice facility. Very friendly and welcoming.
-The pay is considerably less per hour, though they are offering more guaranteed hours. But I don't really like to work many hours and would prefer to earn the same amount in fewer hours and spend more time at home.
-I worry that working in such a professional environment, while nice for me professionally, I don't know if I can be up to their standard. My personal life is very stressful right now and I don't know if I can stay on top of my game as well especially with working more hours which means less time to prepare.
-They require a dress code that is somewhat uncomfortable for me. Not un-doable but not my preferred mode of dress.
-The system I will have to use for billing/payment can be a bit of a hassle (goes thru a gov't agency)
+However that also means I have no other agency paperwork - gov't agency requires doing all the billing myself but doesn't require detailed forms for each session.
+Due to the clientele at this location, could lead to future referrals for more profitable private work. (which I don't even really have time for now but may be good in the long run)
So that's 5+ and 4-.

Job #2:
+Great pay per hour. Would be able to work fewer hours.
+They offer mentoring by more experienced employees, which could be a nice support and equivalent to the supportive environment advantage mentioned in job #1.
-They seem to have at least some hours available now, but unclear whether they have a full caseload, can only say after my application is finished processing... it seems like good potential but of course they can't guarantee anything.
-If they do come up with a full caseload for me, there's no guarantee it'll all be in the same location or even area. So it's possible that what I gain in working fewer hours could be lost in traveling/transitioning between them. And no idea what kind of environment I'd be working in because it all depends which cases I get and where.
+/-No gov't agency billing but yes private agency documentation. Trades one headache for another...
+no annoying dress code.
So that's like 4+ and 3- for that job.

If they were both equally stable and predictable, I'd go with the second in a heartbeat - worth doing more paperwork to spend less hours working for more money and not have to run after my payments and not have to change my attire. Pity I wouldn't get to work in the fabulous looking place but overall job #2 wins. The issue is the part where job #2 isn't guaranteed, I won't know whether/what kind of caseload they have for me until after I am approved for hire (has to do with processing forms, bureaucratic stuff, could take a week or more though they said they would try to expedite it for me because of their need to figure out case assignments more promptly.) So figure at least until the end of this week to know anything for sure about that, possibly longer. Meanwhile, job #1 needs an answer ASAP - they would have loved to have made a hire already before, now that I just had the interview they are graciously understanding of my need to give it some thought but for sure want an answer tomorrow and definitely not more than the day after, by which time I'll already be all but written off by them.

Ugggghhh this is not the first time this has happened to me, I don't understand how I keep landing in these predicaments! nothing for months and then two things at once and always one definite but less desireable and one iffy/unstable but better in theory!

And in between writing this and then wondering if it's really wise to post it, the person who initially recommended job #1 to me called me and made it even more compelling, just talking about what a great place it is to work...

So torn. Help!

tweety1

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 12:16 am

To me job #1 sounds a lot more compelling. It is has a lot more pros. To me the pros of #1 outway the pros of #2. Whatever your decision I wish you much hatzlucha and s'yata dishmaya!

mirror

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 12:19 am

There is a saying from our sages, "There is no joy like the removal of doubt." [maybe someone has a better translation]

If I were you, you should apply to second job just to see what they offer you but go with the first job.

The English phrase is "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

TwinsMommy

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 12:45 am

I vote for the sure thing of job 1. Sounds like you need the income.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 1:20 am

I do need the income. But I also need my peace of mind and work-life balance. The better-paying job is not guaranteed but it's almost-sure, and then I could have more income in fewer hours per week. I am the kind of person who can never figure out how to have enough hours in the day, I need my downtime, I get stressed if I have to run straight from work to my kids, am constantly behind in housework and errands. More income in fewer hours is important to me. Mine is the only income and DH is not available to help with housework or kids much either - long story.

Then again, working in a positive environment and making meaningful connections is also important to me.

Though nobody said I won't have a positive environment in job #2. It's just a wild card.

I just don't know what to do. Job #1 is indeed so much more compelling and seems like it will be very enjoyable and rewarding in many ways. But I don't know if I will be able to cope with the demands of working a fuller schedule than I'm used to. In the past I usually took jobs that paid more and worked at them for less hours. Job #1 regardless of pay wants me to do more hours because that's how much work they need covered, and it's already a little sticky for me that I'm holding my ground telling them that I need to draw the line somewhere, even if it's a lot higher than I would like to anyway.

Oh and about the dress code thing - the article in question is a sheitel. I hate wearing a sheitel. So uncomfortable. I do own one so I don't know if it pays to turn down a great job opportunity over something that seems so trivial, but I really hate sheitels. They said hats are an option too but I don't own any, not sure if I could get comfortable with that and also wasn't looking to start buying a whole hat wardrobe. If you see someone starting a new thread here soon looking for hats, I guess you'll know what I decided. But either way this will be an expensive job to start (my clothes wardrobe could also use an update, especially since the workplace is classier than where I've been before. But I have enough to get by more or less.) and that's besides the $25 per hour difference.

The schedule they'd like me to do that doesn't cross the lines I drew in the sand (home when my kids are home. At the rate they're paying I am not going to bother with after-school care. Plus it's not the life I want) means I leave the house at the same time as my kids and get back at the same time as them EVERY day (previous jobs I had EITHER working every day but for fewer hours and getting back before them, spending some time unwinding and maybe putting the house together a bit, answering emails, etc. OR I worked three days a week and had the other days completely off.) I just don't know if I can handle it.

On the other hand I so don't want to turn down this really interesting position for a different one that is much more likely to involve headaches or be boring but will have the hours and pay that I need.

Ugh.

youngishbear

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 1:30 am

The possibility of needing to travel might negate the timing advantage for job #2. So I don't think you should count scheduling as a definite plus for job 2. Does that make it easier to decide?

You may be more interested in #2 because of the thrill of the possibilities... (do you generally crave excitement, drama, surprises?) But job 1 is predictable, and you will be able to develop a steady system to stay on top of your duties.

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 1:35 am

The job is consistent, so while it might be an adjustment, you will be able to get used to the scheduling.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 1:47 am

I think the likelihood of travel time negating saved time is not very high, and also travel time is half downtime for me. It's being "on" all day that burns me out, though I really do want to have time to sit at home before the kids come home too.

And the thrill of possibility is definitely more with job #1. It's in a much more exciting environment. Job #2 is kinda same ol' for me, what thrills me about job #2 is the idea of making more money in less time and possibly less effort. I happen to have a weakness for taking jobs that are more interesting instead of more easy, and often end up having bitten off more than I could chew and wondering why I didn't go with easy and boring. I love a professional challenge but my personal life is challenging enough that I often don't have the energy and headspace for both. Though I don't know if the interesting job would be more difficult in this case. But it would require a sheitel or a hat wardrobe. It's really a toss-up. Mostly a toss-up between great paycheck/hours and great workplace/people. It's a really really tough call for me and I have no idea what to do.

Oh and another area in which they are different but possibly even out: While job #1 has possibility of generating referrals for other work, job #2 has possibility of year-round work (can't know now, but potential exists) while job #1 is school-based so no summer.

Job #1 needs an answer like yesterday, and Job #2 I'm scheduled to bring in my remaining documentation tomorrow (oops, that's today.)

I have been waiting so long to find ANYTHING at all appealing that I frankly don't want to turn either one of these down. They both have so many advantages. And doing both half the time is not an option - in some cases it might be, in the nature of my work, but in this case job #1 was already looking for a full time worker and is compromising on giving me a part time load. Less than that would never fly.

I need a sign from heaven. I hate making decisions that are hugely consequential and yet have no indicators of right or wrong.

farm

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 11:19 am

I think you should take the sheitel part out of the equation. It will be uncomfortable for a week and then you won't even notice it anymore. I am a snood/slinky skirt/hoodie person whenever possible but adapted to sheitel/pencil skirt/stockings way quicker than I ever could have imagined.
I also think job #1 sounds more stable. Can't you give it until the end of the school year and not go back after the summer if it's too impossible to handle?

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Nov 17 2015, 11:27 am

I have sensory issues and the sheitel is a huge deal, I once had another job that required it, temporary only for a month and it was only a half-day job, and taking off the darn thing was always the best part of the day. Maybe I could use a better sheitel, or hats, but again that would take some doing...

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 2:04 am

Two updates and another HELLLLLP they both need answers tomorrow (which is today!)
1. Job #2 is now a definite thing. not only do they definitely have the hours for me, but they actually accepted this case because I had asked for hours. So if I decline this case and they have to scramble to find someone to cover it, odds are I will never again have the opportunity to work with them in the future for an above-average pay rate with a good flow of cases. Also, now that they have a specific case for me, I can see that it is in a decent-looking place that is not too far from home (about 5-10 minutes farther than Job #1, which easily gets evened out with unpredictability of transit) - not the same level of quality environment as Job #1 but I don't anticipate having issues with it. It's in a nice neighborhood.

2. I have realized that I can boil the whole situation down into one main factor for each:
Job #1 will be more professionally fulfilling and rewarding. Possibly more enjoyable overall, but can't really tell from here because I don't really get the details (for either job) until I accept it. I'll be participating collaboratively with quality professionals, making connections that could serve well in the future, and challenging myself in an area that is interesting to me (though not necessarily one that I'm naturally good at, which can be stressful)

However Job #2 will be MUCH more practical. It will almost certainly be easier and the hours are significantly less, leaving much less chance of burning out the energy that I need for my family and self-care. Knowing myself and knowing my past experiences, it is really important for me to not have job stress because my personal life is very demanding and I'm not a great juggler. Even the last couple of months while I was looking for a job I have never been bored and I am just as behind as ever in housework and such (though I have been gradually catching up on other things that fell by the wayside while I was working (and that was with my previous job having the higher pay/less hours) and have been enjoying/benefiting from a more relaxed pace of life.

I am torn because the practical consideration seems so important, and I know myself and I know I need downtime as well as time to spend with my small children, keep up with the housework, run errands and appointments, etc. (husband is not much help in any of these areas.) But on the other hand I really hate to give up the opportunity to have such a great job and professional growth.

I have to turn down one or the other by about noon or they will both lose patience with me. And whichever one I turn down is likely to be gone forever. And I have already seen how hard it is to find something new once one is gone forever. Sad

amother

Mustard

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 3:11 am

It sounds like your instincts are telling you to go with job 2... Never ignore your instincts! And having overworked myself in the past, I totally understand your desire/need to keep your work life and hours as simple as possible. I could probably make an argument for both but I don't really know you and your situation.

You say you need to give an answer by noon... Sit down for one hour, turn off distractions and try to really think it through. Think about the positives and negatives that you wrote here plus others you might not have mentioned (maybe fear of failure, pressure by the person who made the recommendation.) make a decision combining your logic and emotions and then once you decide, say a prayer that this be the decision that's right for you and send out the email. Good luck!

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 3:33 am

I did that. Spent over an hour just talking it out with DH, and writing it out at the same time... I'm so torn.

I keep bouncing back and forth. At the time I wrote this I was pretty sure the right thing would be to give up Job #1 in favor of practicality and more time for personal/family life. But then I swung the other way and feel like I should just go for it, it could work out really well in the long run by building up my professional esteem (both personally and with others) and hey if it doesn't work out there will probably be another blah job for me out there somewhere - the nature of these agency based cases... they aren't always easy to come by as I found out these last few months but they do come and go, it's a mazel... and maybe the bridge won't even be so badly burnt if I turn down this case, though I fear it will because the coordinator was really working with me on getting it to work out. I was honest about having other options but I can see where she got the impression that if she gave me a case that met my needs in hours and location then I would take it. So there's some guilt about that. And the hours are really good. But on the other hand this Job #1 is really a unique opportunity and I do care about developing myself professionally. Who knows, maybe it will bring out something good in me personally. And if it is too much, I can always quit then - that would definitely not leave them thinking too highly of me and would also leave me in a financial lurch *again* but at least I'll have had the chance.
But I never have enough hours in the day so I'm not sure I should devote this many to a job (don't judge but "this many" is still less than most part time jobs... I am just not that "together" and also have little kids and little spouse support and no household help. And probably ADHD too, not kidding.)

I keep going around and around in circles! I was hoping for some clarity by now, I already put them off for two days, the interviews were on Monday and we're heading into Wednesday and I still have no clue what to do!!! Zero! I'm exactly equally pulled in both directions in different ways.

(to answer about unlisted factors, fear of failure is definitely stronger with Job #1. Higher quality workplace will mean higher expectations and standards. I get very insecure about these things. But I think/hope the way to beat my insecurity is to go ahead and rock it. Unless I don't, unless I go ahead and can't rock it because I don't have enough downtime to keep myself energized. Uh.)

I made up the noon deadline. They probably WANT an answer by the time they get into their offices tomorrow, but will probably give it a bit of time to come through. So I figure noon would be about right and nothing is going to change for me between noon and 3 anyway so why prolong it?

I talked it out with DH and he first said go with Job #1, you'll be happier there. But then I dumped all my doubts about being able to handle the hours and also got a little offended that he seemed to be thinking about the more marginal perks rather than the core issues... and he backtracked into "do whatever you want, it will all work out." Which is hopefully true but HOW it works out is very dependent...

Job #1 is almost certainly going to cause more stress due to more hours, but also potentially much more rewarding in many ways. Job #2 is almost certainly going to be easier all around, but has no significant potential to move me anywhere personally. financially they're both pretty equal just one is more time for the same money. Location also similar enough. Both require 5-day workweeks, the difference is that one would have me home by noon and give me over two hours to regroup and take care of this-and-that before my kids get home, and the other would have me home less than an hour before kids get home which is about enough time to use the bathroom and have something to eat, not really recharge much OR get anything useful done.

Had only one of these been an option, I would have been over the moon to finally have such a good job after scrounging for so long. But now that I have both, I just keep seeing what I'll be losing by each choice. OK I mean I also see what I'd be gaining either way but that is not making the choice any easier either. Every time I'm about to choose convenience I just see the lost opportunity, and every time I'm about to choose opportunity I just see the lost convenience.

Raisin

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 5:13 am

imagine one of them calls up and says the job is no longer available. Would you be upset if it was job 1 or 2?

I think you should probably go with job 2, although both sound like good options. If you go with job 1, maybe consider hiring some cleaning help so you don't get too overwhelmed?

Also consider the financial costs of working longer hours...you might need to buy more convenience foods, above mentioned cleaning help, less time to shop around for bargains. Plus buying a sheital (although if they let you wear a hat, go for that. IME comfortable shietals are often more expensive)

justforfun87

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 5:21 am

You have little kids, I would choose family life over career at this point. You always have time when they are a bit older to pursue your career.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 11:36 am

I would be equal measures disappointed and relieved with each. Relieved to not have to choose and disappointed either way because each position had things I like equally in different directions.

To clarify, the job with more hours does not take away any time from my family - I will be home before my kids in either job. It's about the level of demands on me personally.

In my experience, I'm (almost) just as behind in housework and stuff regardless of how much or little I'm working. It's more a matter of how I'll feel - will I gain more from having a more fulfilling job or from having more downtime (2 hours vs 40 minutes between getting home from work and picking up kids)? Will I be more stressed by having a less fulfilling job or by having higher standards to live up to at a more rewarding job?

Another thing added to the equation: The job with fewer hours requires more unpaid tasks outside the hours. Both have things I would need to do at night/at home but one has a specific amount of requirements and one doesn't just depends on what's going on - may be more sometimes, less sometimes, hard to say.

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 12:02 pm

It's a matter of perspective. It's really a win win situation, you can't go wrong. I think, based on what you wrote so far, that you'd be better off with job 2, because you seem to expect to be overwhelmed with job 1s hours.

Job 1 definitely sounds like it'll stretch you more. More hours, more conforming, more learning. Not bad things, but doesn't sound like what you're looking for.

If possible, tell them no workout burning a bridge (thank you so much for the offer but it's really too many hours for me at this point in my life. I hope to have a different opportunity to work with you some day. Or something like that? ) that would be great.

But take job 2.

And then NO SECOND GUESSING! Don't look back

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 12:27 pm

I just feel like if I take job 2 then I will never know if I am capable of more. I will stay in a rut with a nice, fairly stable job and comfortable hours but very little excitement. Which may be a good thing but... sigh. A little disappointing. But probably safer.

Also, financially job #1 ends up being more money even though it's less per hour - because there are more hours (#2 I could potentially take on more hours but that defeats the purpose, and would also be in a separate location) and also more cases not just one bigger case so if I have any cancellations I don't lose the whole day. On the other hand it requires paying self employment tax, which is higher.

Really a big toss-up.

TwinsMommy

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 12:37 pm

where do you live? here on the east coast it's 12:30 already. did you make up your mind? Inquiring minds want to know!

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 1:12 pm

Keep in mind that SE tax is 20%! Do the math, you might not be making more after all

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