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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
Do you have a close relative who is OTD?
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| No |
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37% |
[ 41 ] |
| Yes - a brother |
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24% |
[ 27 ] |
| Yes - sister |
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10% |
[ 11 ] |
| Yes - a son |
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3% |
[ 4 ] |
| Yes - a daughter |
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4% |
[ 5 ] |
| Yes - a brother-in-law |
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10% |
[ 11 ] |
| Yes - a sister-in-law |
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1% |
[ 2 ] |
| Other - State below |
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7% |
[ 8 ] |
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| Total Votes : 109 |
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amother
Mint
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 Tue, Nov 17 2015, 2:28 pm
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Do you have a close relative who is OTD?
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thunderstorm
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 2:29 pm
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I had 3 siblings off at a certain point but 2 came back and the third is trying to find himself now.
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Sake
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 5:17 pm
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What is the reason for asking? If it's a head count than I feel kinda gross about the subject. If it's for specific insight or perspective than perhaps add that?
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amother
Pink
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 6:52 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | | I had 3 siblings off at a certain point but 2 came back and the third is trying to find himself now. |
What do you think brought them back?
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amother
Pink
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 6:55 pm
| Sake wrote: | | What is the reason for asking? If it's a head count than I feel kinda gross about the subject. If it's for specific insight or perspective than perhaps add that? |
Any glimpse into any frum newspaper or magazine and youd know the numbers of OTD people are swelling!!!!!
So even if OP is asking because of curiosity, others who are experiencing it, will learn and gain from a thread like this.
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chani8
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 10:30 pm
I have one son who is not orthodox anymore, he's traditional.
Our whole family, including my new son in-law, are ex-charedim. We're still orthodox'ish.
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DrMom
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 10:44 pm
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No, but I have tone of relatives who were never frum to begin with.
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ora_43
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Tue, Nov 17 2015, 11:06 pm
| amother wrote: | Any glimpse into any frum newspaper or magazine and youd know the numbers of OTD people are swelling!!!!!
So even if OP is asking because of curiosity, others who are experiencing it, will learn and gain from a thread like this. |
What's to learn or gain from the fact that amother-maroon has a brother who's no longer frum, and amother-lemon has two sister-in-laws who weren't frum for a few years? (I made that up, but you get the point)
For that matter, even an in-depth look at what makes people decide to not be frum would only be so productive on a site like this. By definition everyone contributing is not a typical "OTD" person (perhaps some were "OTD" and became frum, or went from orthodox to orthoprax later in life, but that still leaves a whole range of perspectives that we wouldn't be getting).
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imasoftov
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 3:21 am
A survey, taken in an OTD group
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5mom
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 3:39 am
| amother wrote: | Any glimpse into any frum newspaper or magazine and youd know the numbers of OTD people are swelling!!!!!
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Any glimpse into history and you'd know that this is not a new phenomenon. The religious world of prewar Europe was hemorrhaging its young.
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amother
Jade
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 4:17 am
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Yes, unfortunatly, painfully, my brother and the man that I married. At this point, still officially married, but we are heading towards divorce.
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amother
Pink
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 4:40 am
| imasoftov wrote: | A survey, taken in an OTD group
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Every single expert in the field, without exception, says the main reason kids go off the Derech is that they went through some sort of trauma in their lives. Otherwise they wouldn't want to live differently than their family. Its never a faith problem, even if they say it is.
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 5:04 am
| amother wrote: | | Every single expert in the field, without exception, says the main reason kids go off the Derech is that they went through some sort of trauma in their lives. Otherwise they wouldn't want to live differently than their family. Its never a faith problem, even if they say it is. |
This bothers me so much. 'They' say a lot of things. Maybe in some cases it's trauma, but definitely not most. Knowing from myself (and others who have not been through ANY trauma) grew up happy and oblivious, just doing what I was told and taught. Then I grew up and started to take a step back and started thinking for myself, asked questions and not getting answers. And don't say you didn't talk to the right people, because it all come down to faith, and you can't force someone to believe.
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chani8
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 5:33 am
The 'experts in the field' are dealing with OTD people who are on turbo-self-destruct mode. Those OTDs indeed have trauma as the base for their OTD'ness. Therefore the Experts are 100% correct that most of the OTDs they see, were traumatized.
However, all the other people who are OTD, for the zillion other reasons people go OTD, are not showing up at any Save the OTD programs, so they dont count.
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amother
Pink
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 5:50 am
When experts say the reason OTD people went OTD, theyve experienced some form of TRAUMA, these experts are the ones who deal with those who went OTD before they reached adulthood.
Those who go OTD after having reached adulthood, are a different breed of OTD.
Trauma can mean learning disabilities, social issues, uniquely bad experiences in Shidduchim, or the BIG trauma, molestation.
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smilingmom
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 7:09 am
I think "Off the Derech" is a misnomer.
There is no one right way (derech) in Judaism.
People grow and change from their experiences, their relationship with others and themselves.
In addition, true Torah Judaism is tolerant of differences in people, however every specific denomination in Judaism is intolerant of people who are to the right of them as well as those to the left.
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youngishbear
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 7:16 am
| smilingmom wrote: | I think "Off the Derech" is a misnomer.
There is no one right way (derech) in Judaism.
People grow and change from their experiences, their relationship with others and themselves.
In addition, true Torah Judaism is tolerant of differences in people, however every specific denomination in Judaism is intolerant of people who are to the right of them as well as those to the left. |
OADD.
OOD.
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smilingmom
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 7:19 am
| youngishbear wrote: | OADD.
OOD. |
can you explain the abbreviations?
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5mom
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Wed, Nov 18 2015, 7:25 am
| smilingmom wrote: |
In addition, true Torah Judaism is tolerant of differences in people, however every specific denomination in Judaism is intolerant of people who are to the right of them as well as those to the left. |
Really? This is quite a statement.
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