Yichud Room | Imamother

dee's mommy

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 6:01 pm

dee's mommy wrote:

Gift? I gave him a tallis, but I didn't get anything in the yichud room.

He did give me a ring at the chuppah.

Why did I get a hug for this? I don't feel sorry for myself, because I never expected anything, nor did it occur to me that this was a "standard" practice.

Someone suggested to me that I should tell my chasson to get me pearls for the yichud room, but I just didn't get that at all. Why should I ask him for more gifts when he already gave me an engagement ring, and then a wedding ring? Besides, I already had my grandmother's pearls, plus another string from another relative, plus one that my parents had given me from an earlier birthday. Why did I need more?

amother

Teal

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 9:01 pm

Really? he was supposed to give me a gift? I really didnt know that Scratching Head

seriously! He did send me a gift earlier in the day through a messenger (my dad), it was a beautiful leather bound tehillim.
never knew people did gifts in yichud room. why on earth? isnt it enough to just be married and be able to finally touch each other.
and yes, I am from a yeshivish kind of background.... I guess we were just clueless and thankfully nobody clued us in about spending more and more money on unnecessary gifts. Life isnt just about giving and getting gifts. whatever.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 11:19 pm

I got a horrible gold necklace that my MIL chose for him to give me. 19 years later, I finally traded it in since I wasn't going to wear it anyway.

Iymnok

Wed, Nov 18 2015, 11:39 pm

Earrings.
During our engagement he had me choose all the jewelry based on advice given to him by a relative. I like the element of surprise, so I didn't appreciate it as much. Talk to the Kallah, get her style preferences and if she wants to choose or be surprised.
I like a necklace for the yichud room since the Chosson helping her put it on is a great ice-breaker.
The most important thing is for her to like it. Give your son a say in choosing it so she will feel it's from him, not you.

amother

Tan

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 8:19 am

I gave my Dil diamond earring b4 the wedding (for Shabbos) so she can have for the pictures,
OP diamomd earrings are way more than $500-1000.
Pearl necklace you can get for way less

amother

White

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 9:20 am

String of pearls. Mine were better quality. My sister got lower quality and three strings

amother

Olive

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 11:45 am

I got some cheap looking bracelets. I had gotten pearls earlier and I knew money was tight since HE was buying the gifts and not MIL. Plus his family isn't as clued in and I knew that. He felt bad when he realized how bad it made him look but I told him "at an anniversary in the future you can get me something nice when we can afford it" Smile

. Ok, honestly I didn't mention "protocol" or the gift at all (I gave him a thanks) but he heard from someone else. I was just happy to have found him! And it works because I don't get hung up on protocol anyways!

amother

Seashell

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 12:23 pm

HonesttoGod wrote:

It used to be pearls but I believe most girls these days get diamond necklaces.

Thanks again for all the responses.

This is really why I was asking: In my day it was pearls; I was wondering if this has changed?

All those responding that you got pearls, were you married recently?

Iymnok

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 12:27 pm

amother wrote:

That's my issue with your question, how about, "what does SHE want?"
Pearls are timeless but some women just don't want.
They may be out of style, but she loves them, has been dreaming about them.

Who is this wedding about anyway?

thunderstorm

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 12:38 pm

I got beautiful earrings which I loved back then and still do..the so called "pearls" I received on Purim along with my shalach manos...I didnt find it necessary but I wore them to my wedding. Pearls are not that in..I would ask the kallah herself ...
My mother in law asked me bluntly, do you want a pearl necklace or a diamond one...while I was deciding she said "please say pearls , please say pearls, I love pearls"...so I said pearls to please her...I didnt wear them for a really long time, but lately I have been using them again. I thought that the pearl necklace was a "chasiddish thing" am I wrong?

amother

Seashell

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 12:54 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Bec. of the price difference

sitting

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 1:24 pm

how sad that one feels they "have to give a gift." my husband didnt give me anything in the yichud room. but that was fine...he had bought me a ring and engagement ring. ..and engagement necklace and a leather siddur which he gave me the wk bf the wedding (bf we stopped seeing each other).
we had just committed to spending the rest ofnour lives togethwr.....isnt that enuf?

amother

Seashell

Thu, Nov 19 2015, 2:21 pm

sitting wrote:

I never heard of an "engagement necklace". Is this typically done, too?? shock

Ruchel

Sun, Nov 22 2015, 6:48 am

amother wrote:

I never heard of an "engagement necklace". Is this typically done, too?? shock

I bet not by most 95% people... outside of Imamother Smile