Anyone have a family member who OTDed as an older adult

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professor

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:41 pm

I read the poll of family member, but was wondering, what about adults who went OTD is it rare?

Maya

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:42 pm

I know of quite a few, one of them really well.

youngishbear

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:44 pm

Maya wrote:

I know of quite a few, one of them really well.

Maya, you??? According to some chumradig definitions, you yourself are OTD!! shock

Or litvish.

Or something. Twisted Evil

ra_mom

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:53 pm

youngishbear wrote:

Maya, you??? According to some chumradig definitions, you yourself are OTD!! shock

Or litvish.

Or something. Twisted Evil

Oiysh! Don't go down the bubbe meisa route!

Maya is perfectly orthodox and belongs on imamother Smile

youngishbear

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:55 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Oiysh! Don't go down the bubbe meisa route!

Maya is perfectly orthodox and belongs on imamother Smile

I was just satirizing the labelizing.

Last edited by youngishbear on Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

Maya

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:55 pm

youngishbear wrote:

Maya, you??? According to some chumradig definitions, you yourself are OTD!! shock

Or litvish.

Or something. Twisted Evil

Haha. That Litvish thing cracks me up every time. LOL

I know a middle aged person who became irreligious after marrying off several kids. I know a few younger ones too, in their late 20s and low 30s.

OP, the question is what you mean by adult? Over 18? Married with a kid or two? Older than that?

ra_mom

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:56 pm

youngishbear wrote:

I was just satirizing the labelizing.

I know!

But it seems to rub me the wrong way every time Banging head

justcallmeima

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 7:59 pm

I know dozens of women who went "OTD" in their 30's 40's and early 50's.

PinkFridge

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 8:27 pm

justcallmeima wrote:

I know dozens of women who went "OTD" in their 30's 40's and early 50's.

Dozens?? Wow.

amother

Teal

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 9:46 pm

Yes, painfully the man I married went OTD in his late 30s.

Runner18

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 10:16 pm

I think I you need to specify what you mean by OTD. It's very subjective.

By nature, as an adult we find a lot more gray in life, as opposed to the black and white, all-or-nothing thinking that pervades childhood.

You also need to differentiate between religiosity and spirituality. I am more spiritual than I've ever been my whole life. Yet I cover my hair less than I did when I got married, wear sweatpants sometimes when I run out for an errand, etc. but I talk to hashem more than ever before....say tehillim more, etc

Perhaps something to consider is that unfortunately judiasm is often taught in a reward and punishment kind of way-- which appeals to kids-- but you get to be an adult and it doesn't work as well. You need more depth as to why you're following things...and if you only do it because you care what people think you get to a point where your life feels like a fraud.

I do think that it's important to also remember that it's easy to judge someone on the outside who appears iOTD but so often I hear their story and it really makes aense to me that they'd want to leave frumkeit based on what happened to them....

out-of-towner

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 10:39 pm

Shulem Deen had a whole bunch of kids by the time he went off.

And why is OTD now a verb?

amother

Teal

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 10:53 pm

I'm the teal amother. By Otd I mean, no longer believes in any of it, and when away from frum people died what he please: eats nonkosher, mechalel Shabbos, etc.

amother

Azure

Mon, Nov 23 2015, 11:53 pm

What do you mean by older adults? Senior citizens? My parents are OTD adults. But they've been that way since they left their parents' homes.

chani8

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 6:53 am

Is this for a theoretical discussion? Or a bash? What exactly are you asking here, OP? What do you want to know?

I belong to a few FB groups of adults who are OTD. The majority are young adults, but there are plenty of us who are 'older'.

pointyshoes

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 7:06 am

amother wrote:

What do you mean by older adults? Senior citizens? My parents are OTD adults. But they've been that way since they left their parents' homes.

This cracked me up! The image of a couple in their 90's doing teenage rebellious things like dyeing their hair green and pierceing their noses in between soaking their false teeth.
And coming back from a nightclub at 4am so that they can take their pills on time Very Happy

Lol!

professor

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 7:37 am

Maya wrote:

Haha. That Litvish thing cracks me up every time. LOL

a close family of mine went OTD as an adult married kids all that. was wondering if it's usual

chani8

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 7:45 am

professor wrote:

a close family of mine went OTD as an adult married kids all that. was wondering if it's usual

I dont think it's so usual.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience. You must be worried about the spouse and children. Hope everyone is ok.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 7:46 am

How about in a public relationship (with children) without being married? Because I know at least two women who did that after nasty divorces from men who took several years to give them a get.

AFAIK they both still believe in G-d and keep some semblance of Shabbat and Kashrut, but they no longer trust the Orthodox patriarchal establishment.

professor

Tue, Nov 24 2015, 7:47 am

why would an older adult even want to go OTD?

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