Is this normal for a toddler?

amother

Gold

Wed, Nov 25 2015, 3:34 pm

My son will be three in February and he LOVES my phone. He was on it and I told him that Im taking it away in ten seconds. I counted to ten. During my counting he ran out of the room. I went to him and I found him standing on a chair with the phone behind his back. He tells me "Mommy Im gonna fight you, Im gonna fight you!!!!!!" I just ignored him and took the phone and put it out of his reach. This is my oldest. Is it normal for a kid so young to talk like that? Should I have addressed it or was I right for just ignoring?

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Nov 25 2015, 3:41 pm

Very normal! And you showed him you were in control. If you would of fought him or aurgued with him you let him have the control and that's never good. So I think you did the right thing! It's a fun age Wink

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Nov 25 2015, 3:44 pm

Not so great. Tell his father the story and say next time (there WILL BE a next time) you want some law laid down about how you don't disrespect your mother. Not terrorizing, teaching. Firmly.

This will have infinitely, infinitely, more meaning coming from the father than from the mother. Even though the mother is a very big girl and can handle it. But there needs to be some backing up from ultimate authority for this rather tough little person.

Tough is ok, but it has to be under good governance. You do NOT want a terror of a teenager. You have very little time, in my view. Six months, say. That's not much.

WHAT is a child doing with your phone anyway? But that's a separate issue. It could have been a cookie.

baba

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 7:11 am

Dolly Welsh wrote:

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with this. All this does is show that daddy in the end is the one with the say at home and not mommy. This is not going to help her in the long run.

I do think this is normal behavior. Personally, I dont believe in counting to 10, which is what gave him time to run off with it. A three yo is not going to react to this kind of threat. All he knows in that moment is that he wants that phone is is going to do what he can to get it.

WastingTime

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 7:55 am

baba wrote:

I agree. Better to take the phone and make it to a non-issue. Negative attention feeds fuel to the fire. When he's 3 you can still take the phone away firmly but calmly. If he sees he pushed your buttons, he'll keep doing it... and when he's older it's not as easy to physically take thing away.

Kudos to you-you're definitely a conscientious Mommy!

fmt4

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 7:58 am

This is totally normal, and the reason why my phone is totally off limits to my kids. It makes them crazy and addicted and they freak out when it's taken away.
And Dolly, in my house, as I'm sure it is in many houses, I am the ultimate authority with the kids. I'm the one who spends the most time with them, so I am the boss.

Laiya

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 9:26 am

Dolly Welsh wrote:

I think this can also be reinforcing the message that when daddy's NOT around, Mommy CAN'T discipline.

Although I agree that if both parents are around, and the issue is chutzpah of a child to one parent, it's nicer for the other parent to enforce the respect.

amother

Gold

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 9:43 am

OP here, speaking of toddlers and phones - do you let your kids play with your smartphones? My son can wake up at 5 am and I DONT want to get up then. I will give him my phone for a half hr or so and ill get a little more sleep. Ive tried putting him to bed earlier or later and nothing helped. He gets up anywhere between 5 and 7 and I've just learned to accept that.

morah

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 9:49 am

It is normal and you did fine. They needle you, you need to stay in control and assert your authority. And while many people wring their hands about kids and phones, I think it's hooey. Not a big deal at all, I also let my kids play with a phone or tablet if they get up before I'm ready to get up. They are not addicted. They understand that Imma and Abba make the rules and if one of us says it's time to turn in the phone they hand it right over (sometimes with a bit of pouting, the occasional shriek from the 2 year old, but even he understands that we control phone use and not him). They are 4 and 2 and know the rules full well.

fmt4

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 10:42 am

amother wrote:

I think it's important that kids know that mommy's phone is mommy's. In my experience the kids start to think that the phone is theirs, they're constantly grabbing it and get very addicted. If my kids wake up early they can watch tv or a movie which in my experience is much less addicting and has less negative behavioral effects.