Am I nuts to look for a new job?

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 3:40 pm

Sorry in advance but this post in probably going to be long.

I work for a frum organization where skirt = no room for advancement and pants = title of administrator regardless of what you actually do. That is my first complaint about my job. I think the men call every single lady here a secretary regardless of what you actually do. I finished schooling while I was at this job so now I can get a better paying more stimulating job with room for advancement. Why am I at my job? It is walking distance from my house and my kids schools. I am saving a lot of money by not needing to buy a car and I am very close to my kids. I am able to leave work for an hour to take them to doctor for well visits or for a chanukah play or whatever. I used to work 9-5 now I cut back to 9-345. A new job will for sure be at least until 4 if not until five and it won't be a five minute walk from my house. I take care of my own department, and no one really knows exactly what I do but I deal with a lot of money and they are scared to lose me so they pay okay for the work that I do. I can definitely get 15k more somewhere else but I would have to start out full time and the 15k would mainly be going to car payments and increased childcare costs. Besides not having to commute is really priceless. Also even if the sexist attitude of the office sickens me bottom line is that is a very nice place to work. It is all frum. I have paid vacation for erev yom tov, yom tov and chol hamoed and ten personal days. I have no family where I live and there are a lot of frum ladies in the office and we all get along fantastically. If I were to take the jump and leave it would not be a financial gain in the short run but would be a financial gain in long run. I have young children at home and am currently able to pick them up and from school and babysitter every day. I would have to hire someone to do that if I got a new job with more hours. Sorry for the ramble. Am I nuts to leave this current very ideal situation as far as being a mommy and not overworked at all for a job that will be more stimulating, with a better future and probably not as sexist of an office as this. sorry again for the length of this post.

chicco

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 3:58 pm

I think you answered your own question. You sound pretty happy, but mildly annoyed about a sexist attitude (which doesn't sound like something that is oppressive, but rather a known truth) and the idea that you may get more money else where. But you don't even mention that you need more money. I'd say all in all you are in pretty lucky situation. If you are good at what you do, run a whole department, and they are scared to lose you, you may just grow yet in the company. Even if they refer to you as a secretary. As woman we know the truth- the men need us as much as they need their egos. If you felt mistreated on a daily basis/ if you are passed up for a promotion or a raise because they give it to a man instead when you are deserving, at that point you stand up for yourself (if you're willing to risk it) and if need be, look for a new job.

You sound like you have it made in a lot of regards. Hatzlacha.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 5:57 pm

op. I run a department but its not as fancy as it sounds. no one works under me. I take care of certain accounts and no one else know anything about those accounts but me. I cant exactly ask for a raise cuz when I finished school I found a better job and said goodbye and they gave me a.nice raise to keep me. there is ni where at all for me to move up. this is a frum non profit not corporate america. they pay me okay for what I do. but im overqualified. I can easily get more money elsewhere. the problem is that if I get 15k more im not even gonna see it. but in five years I could have grown at this imaginary new job yet at my current job ill be in the exact same position maybe making 2k more....

finallyamommy

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 6:25 pm

It depends what you want. More pay and more responsibilities and a better "title" are, often enough, going to come with less time for your children/household. The fact that the organization is frum and you get paid erev YT is, I think, worth even more than the fact that it's walking distance. And honestly, from what I've heard, there's sexism everywhere. I would say don't look for another job unless you are bringing home significantly more (after expenses).

amother

Navy

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 7:24 pm

Op I hav a commute to and from work and its very hard to find someone to be at bus stop in morning and evening besides the fact that u would hav to pay a lot!! I also dont have flexibility and can't go to my kids plays--I dont even work near their schools and I must go according to the hrs they set for me!! Schlepping to work is exhausting and if u work right near ur hos its easier!!like u said since making more money would go towards childcare/travel expenses, I Dont think u should leave!! I think that since you are not just a worker" but ure a mom too, that is why this is the best job for u now! The conveniences u said helps ...but if u are interested in having it much harder now so that in the future ull have a better paying job, then maybe leave!! Only u can decide by weighing the pros and cons but as I explained from my experience to not have those conveniences!!
. oh and about the sexism--I understand how u feel-I would also be disgusted but in my job there is racism -
Such that if I'm white I'm mistreated and the others have all the power!! That disgusts me too! So a lot of jobs have racism or sexism or..
Good luck

Runner18

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 7:26 pm

There is sexism everywhere, not just in the frum working world. I think perhaps what you're tapping into is not feeling appreciated?

I deal with a lot of issues at work with the people. I keep my eye on the prize: it's not a job I hate, it works for my
home life right now, and I know the options out there will have their own drawbacks.

I do think it's good to always assess your job situation and ask yourself if it makes sense to look into other things. But it sounds like you know in your gut that this makes sense right now.

Btw- you can't put a financial value on what it means to have erev yuntif and yuntif off...I hate the feeling that I'm gonna have a pile of emails waiting for me when I return to work after a chag....

Kumphort

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 8:45 pm

Most jobs don't pay u for chol hamoes and Erevs even the frum offices which are closed for YT. Calculate how many extra days that is. That itself is another couple K no commute!?! Priceless! Even though my job is 5 miles from my house and with no traffic should take me 20 mins. Most days it takes closer to 40. That's an extra hour and half each day round trip. Needing to attend a siddur play etc. half day off

If u need something more fulfilling find a hobby or way of volunteering at ur kids PTA etc

amother

Gold

Thu, Nov 26 2015, 10:01 pm

Going to echo other posters above by agreeing there is sexism everywhere and likely you feel underappreciated.

I work in corporate America, and I don't actually experience sexism in my job, but I have whoo boy! lots of other problems. Problems with male/female interpersonal relationships, problems with real life bullies, slimy and dishonest managers, exceedingly unreasonable partners who constantly put me in a lose-lose scenario and set me up for failure...the backstabbing, the drama, the lies...the list goes on and on.

OP, you may feel appreciated at a new job, but it will most certainly come with other problems you don't have now. Are you problems now SO BAD that you're willing to risk any other type of problem elsewhere?

Next - the flexibility you have is priceless. Will you be happier at the end of the day where you are treated properly, fairly, have room to grow, get regular promotions, but you're rundown and ragged?

Lastly - I would think over time you could try to effect small change in your office. Can you tell the boss all these things that bother you? In any case, accepting that which you cannot change will make you less frustrated. At the end of the day, being happy at your job is mind over matter.

seeker

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 12:27 am

I totally relate to your feelings of wanting a different feel in a workplace, but it sounds like it's not worth the stress you'll have elsewhere. Things like being able to take your kid to the doctor when they're sick are a BIG deal. That panicky feeling when a kid is home from school, too sick to leave with a sitter, it's not a good time to take a day off from work, DH is not available either, actually no one is available, and then it happens five times in the same winter - really stressful. And then there's the commute - I actually enjoy both driving and taking public transportation. Both are like chill time for me. BUT big big BUT - when you need to be at work on time and you didn't manage to leave a ton of extra time because things were going on at home and then you get on a train and it just STOPS and stands there for 10 minutes. Or you get in the car and right when you're on the 1-lane bridge with nowhere else to turn and the traffic just STOPS. And you have no idea how late you'll be but pray that it better not happen again or you might lose your job and your old one has already been passed on. Boy that gets stressful too. And your hours are flexible and you get along with your coworkers and you have PAID time off every yomtov PLUS personal days. Yes, you would have to be nuts to leave.

BUT I bet there are things you can do to improve the situation where you are now. You say no one is sure exactly what you do - well figure out what the title for your job would be and give it to yourself. Start introducing yourself to new people with it. It'll probably catch on. You say you are valuable to the company. Maybe you can negotiate a raise commensurate with your experience and expertise (and, of course, new title. Come in saying that you've been the ______ for this company for x years so it's time to talk about this.)

Sexism is ughy but if you hold your head high and act the way you want to be treated, maybe the atmosphere can improve.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 9:32 am

op here. I could not care less about my title. You can call me secretary, executive manager whatever you like. Its the attitude of the place that sickens me. If I start calling myself the executive account manager of xyz I will just make a fool out of myself. As I mentioned before I am overqualified more job yet they pay me okay for what I do because they are scared to lose me. I can't exactly ask for a raise because I just cut my hours and while they did cut my pay if you are going to compare the hours I work than and now I essentially got like a 6 percent raise. I take care of a few accounts. Some of those accounts bring in a lot of money from the government. In order to get the money there is a lot of mind numbing ridiculous tedious paperwork. As I am doing the silly work I always ask myself "why the heck am I doing this - its an insult to my intelligence. I did not get my degree for this." My current job is a little in the field I went to school for but the very very bottom. I am staying on the first rung of the ladder. In order for me ever to get to the fifth rung say I gotta get to rung 2. By staying here I will always be on the first rung. The problem I mentioned is that there is no short term financial gain to leave because of all the conveniences that I have here but there are definite long term financial gains. By staying here I am basically committing career suicide but its for the sake of a less pressured mommy who has more time for her kids. We do not plan on staying where we are long term. When we move and I begin the job search am I gonna kick myself that I stayed where I am now long because I am much less qualified that I would be had a left? Sorry that these posts are so long - this has been an issue that I'm struggling with for a while and there are just so many factors Smile

gp2.0

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 9:41 am

I understand your worry OP, but I think in the future when you want to apply to a higher level job in your career and they ask you why you didn't advance in your career during the past decade, telling them that you chose to put your family before your career while your kids were younger is a legitimate reason.

If I were you I'd wait until the kids are older - unless of course the perfect job came along - a higher position with the same flexibility you have now. Does that exist?

rachel6543

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 10:06 am

So, I'm going to go against what some of the others have said and say no, I don't think you are nuts to look for a new job. I think it would be a good idea to apply and check out other jobs and companies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking and seeing what other opportunities are actually out there. What do you have to lose? You won't know what other real opportunities are out there until you look. If you get an actual serious job offer at another organization, then you can reevaluate if it's worth it to stay at your current employer or move on. Plus having another job offer might be a way to get yourself a raise at your current job.

bandcm

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 10:09 am

I agree that you should stay in your current job at the moment. The benefits outweigh the losses in my opinion.
I notice that you keep apologizing for your "long" posts. Your posts are not long at all. Many women are brought up to always be the apologizers, to take the blame, to be the fall guy, and many men sense this about women and walk all over them. The sexist attitude in your office may be related to this. In that case, act more domineering, more arrogant, and you will find those big men cower when you speak to them.
If I am all wrong, ignore me.

amother

Khaki

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 10:14 am

OP, if your career is in accounting, stick out the job you have for now, unless you are able to and are willing to hire full time childcare and housekeeping at home. It's true that once you pursue accounting you will have to start from the bottom up. But the industry is fast paced, stressful, chock-full of billable hours and tax seasons until midnight. If they're paying you decently where you are and you can work those hours you mentioned with the close location and flexibility, know that this is priceless while your kids are young.
Much hatzlacha!

Mama Bear

Fri, Nov 27 2015, 10:42 am

I'd say stick to this job for now, the perks youre getting are great. But look for a new job slowly. You have the benefit now of being able to really be picky and choosy with the ultimate job you choose, bc time is on your side. Try to find a stimulating, well paying job in a frum-friendly / family-friendly environment that is not a long commute. Even if it takes you five years to find that ideal job, you have time, becuase you don't HATE your current job. So yes, look, but don't settle. evaluate each opening very carefully.