Completely overwhelmed every time I make Shabbos!

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

juggling

Sat, Dec 19 2015, 3:27 pm

All these ideas about simplifying don't help me! I keep things so simple. It's about getting the basics done. I guess we each have our challenges, and this is (one of) mine.

Another mom

Sat, Dec 19 2015, 4:59 pm

Thanks juggling! You made me feel better Smile

I also love reading - and implementing- new ideas! שבוע טוב!

ra_mom

Sat, Dec 19 2015, 5:45 pm

juggling wrote:

All these ideas about simplifying don't help me! I keep things so simple. It's about getting the basics done. I guess we each have our challenges, and this is (one of) mine.

It's about doing the simple stuff early.

imeinu

Sat, Dec 19 2015, 9:52 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with all suggestions except that I also am rushing right before shabbos bec even if I make food in advance and clean/shower....in advance
. I hav to put up soup Las min and other foods so that it will be warm for meal --I can't he's soup up Fri morning!!

this is a common pitfall that many women think the food has to go right on the blech/hotplate right before Shabbos. there is nothing wrong with putting up the blech an hour before Shabbos. try it and let me know what you think!

gold21

Sat, Dec 19 2015, 10:02 pm

juggling wrote:

All these ideas about simplifying don't help me! I keep things so simple. It's about getting the basics done. I guess we each have our challenges, and this is (one of) mine.

Can you get cleaning help on Erev Shabbos? It's such a big help. Making Shabbos is a hard job. There's nothing unusual about the fact that you find it overwhelming. Wink

amother

Denim

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 12:34 pm

I'm an aging Bubbie whose youngest just got married, and now I am back to cooking.

So, I don't have a lot of interruptions (besides some kids who visit Fri afternoon) but if I do everything on Friday my bones are really aching. So this week, even with making dessert & a marinated salad on Thur evening, I was exhausted just from making soup, chicken, cholent & salmon on Friday. I don't think I want to do any of those t hings ahead, though.

(I had thoughts of kneidlach but they remained theoretical. If I get around to making a vegetable soup one afternoon this week, I may also try to get to a batch of kneidlach which I can freeze.)

I buy a bunch and keep things simple. I still can't figure out how to make things ahead, though.

A big pot of soup takes up too much room in the fridge so I would just rather make it Friday. But this week I think I will try making it Thur night & serving the chicken for dinner.

When I wanted to make ice before Shabbos, there was a shortage of space in my fridge, so I pulled out a bag of cauliflower, threw on some spices & oil, & voila, another side dish (not needed but healthy!). I would not have done that in advance because a. the cookie sheet takes up too much room in oven and b. it was really not necessary & I was trying to keep things simple!

juggling

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:09 pm

ra_mom wrote:

It's about doing the simple stuff early.

Yes, definitely true.

I guess some people need to be told to simplify and not make themselves crazy. For me, I got the simple part. But I still need tips for time-management, because, no matter how simple, I still have trouble getting it all done.

juggling

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:11 pm

gold21 wrote:

Can you get cleaning help on Erev Shabbos? It's such a big help. Making Shabbos is a hard job. There's nothing unusual about the fact that you find it overwhelming. Wink

I totally agree that cleaning help would change everything! But that is not my life, at the moment. Oh, well.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:21 pm

juggling wrote:

Just write a timeline. It doesn't need to be carved in stone, but it can give you guidance for when to complete a task. I'm not a big fan of cook and freeze ahead, sometimes that too, can be over burdening. If your children are old enough to help put them to work. Have them clean toilets, dust, change and make beds. And put your husband to work as well.

Simplify your menus, roast a chicken or some game hens. Do you really need a soup course? Do a simple salad from bagged greens, buy desert. Give up on dips.

juggling

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:31 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Like I said, I definitely do keep it simple already! The timeline thing I'm good on, too. It's sticking to the timeline that gets me. Somehow I am constantly falling behind!

The part about putting kids and husband to work deserves a thread (or two) of its own. I'm not going to get sidetracked on this one. In short, though, I do rely on their help a ton.

I know I can do this. I have done it in the past. It requires a lot of commitment, though, since it doesn't come easily to me.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:37 pm

juggling wrote:

Of course you can do this. You've got all the basics down. Put on some headphones and music that get's you going and get into the flow. You may not succeed the first time but you will make your mark with time.

juggling

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 1:40 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Thank you! That was very affirming!

PinkFridge

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 2:21 pm

amother wrote:

Mazel tov!
Do you have a freezer?
Do you have an aversion to soup with frozen vegetables? My family's well trained but I do understand that people like the veg. in the soup to be fresh. I would say to still make the soup ahead, use the veg. for suppers that week, or puree to add to other dishes, and then toss in some baby carrots or diced celery, etc. when reheating the frozen soup.
I have a 5 week pot up right now.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 3:47 pm

I didn't get through this whole thread but I'll tell you this much.
I am a messy unmotivated type. My house has always been messy- and neglected. The problem is we want it clean for Friday. So a whole week's work attempts to get packed into a few hours...no fun. It ends up causing lots and lots of stress and shalom bayis tension and I felt worse then a shmatta lighting candles (6 mintues before shkeyia that is).
I would have reoccuring nightmares that it's a half hour until Shabbos nad I forgot to cook or defrost anything--- this dream came often and in all different variations-- sometimes amusing actually.

Things have gotten in general progressively better but recently BH--eventhough Shabbos starts at 4- I finally bH have gone into Shabbos feeling like a mentsch, dressed (with makeup sometimes!), lighting on time, with the house neater.

Basically I worked out what was taking the most time and moved it up.
I also at the same time BH hired a cleaning lady for Thursdays for only 3 hours- so Wednesday evenings I have to make sure the whole house is more or less in order. That means even if I am sooo tired I will push myself Wed afternoon and night with pre-cleaning lady fever. The bedrooms have to be pretty much straightened up (hang up my clothes that are dumped on a chair, get toys out of the kids rooms etc.) as well as the playroom, the dishes have to be done, the living room tidy.
Then she comes and finished whatever tidying up, cleans floors bathrooms and stove.

Laundry- Shabbos shirts ( I have a lot of boys) and the dark wash (pants and my dark skirts) I was always doing on Fridays=== no more- last resort is Thursday night, usually earlier. Wash, dried and put away.

Cooking

I aim for everything but chulent, c to do be done Thursday afternoon if kids cooperate or night. Doesnt always happen but at least the more involved things usually do.

I keep simple- soup and potato kugel is made once every 2-3 weeks and frozen. I rarely bake challah

Then I do a simple chicken fri night
plain rice
cooked veg- either green beans or if I have time/ in the mood for cutting and doing roasted or stir fry

Shabbos lunch
chulent
schnitzel (if Im out of time I will do other fast variations or a whole chicken again)
and the rest of the potato kugel
salad I make fresh

I do ocassionally add or substitute but thats the basic.
Brownies is a really fast easy dessert
or bought ice cream (or make in a cinch too)

Ideally my counter top with all the papers and junk should be done Thursday.
But my Friday pressure now starts Wednesday --ideally should start earlier, but that doesn't happen.

There are so many ways to simplify your cooking with out simplifying what you serve. Some recipes are such ridiculous patchkes for nothing.

Try to see what you can get done earlier in the week that are adding un-needed stress. But yes, its hard!!!!

sitting

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 5:04 pm

everyones given excellent advise and tips.
I put up my hotplate fri just after noon time so soup is on it and hot for early eaters and no last minute rush to heat .
also op you say it's hard with the baby around...understood. my husband is happy to watch the kids on a Sunday morning when I bulk cook a thing or two each week (with ab older kid "helping me"...could be cakes, cookies, deserts, kugals, deli roll, borkeas, shnitsels" whatever I need.
alternatively we have jn the past during the winter cooked together on a motsei shabb..hubby and I....just to fill the freezer a bit.
really does help me to the point thay when I dont have a full freezer I feel anxiety brewing Smile

Tweedy

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 11:38 pm

Shira1 wrote:

I learned over the years to use & enjoy my freezer. Most food, if stored right, will come out perfectly fine from the freezer and nobody will feel any difference. So I cook every Thu whatever has to be fresh but the rest I take out from the freezer. I work during the week incl Friday so for me that works the best. I think today I'm so used to it that even if I'd stop working I'd continue that way. It's very relaxing, nothing is missing of the meal, and everything tastes delicious!
Good luck op.

What do you cook/ freeze and how do you store ? Smile

Tweedy

Sun, Dec 20 2015, 11:54 pm

amother wrote:

I used to have hard Fridays when I had 1 or 2 kids. The house was a mess, kids constantly needed me, cooking was never done and then the kitchen was a disaster 2 hours b4 shabbos.

Then I had a brainstorm.

I cooked the whole shabbos on Wednesday afternoon/evening.

Thursday I cleaned the house and even set the table.

Instead of waking up on Fri. morning with a dreaded feeling, I woke up to a neat house with the shabbos table set!

Tips about cooking on Wednesday:

prepare your chicken in the pan with spices but don't bake it until Friday.

pot your chulent and just plug in crock pot on Fri. morning

Fish, soup and kugel all taste delicious on shabbos when prepared on wednesday... I was worried about that but no need to worry at all.

When I had a sick baby (or 2) and I was working ... I used to put up a small pot of chicken soup. That was our meal. First soup with croutons, then chicken from the soup with veggies and sliced pickles. Believe me, we weren't hungry. Not after challah and fish. For dessert, sorbet from the freezer.

I hope this helps you.

I have quick and delicious recipes for fish, a small soup, small kugel and chicken if that would help you.

In total, cooking for shabbos just for a couple should not take more than 2 hours.

I'd love quick and easy recipes please! Smile

Mrs Bissli

Mon, Dec 21 2015, 4:33 am

I find it interesting many posters suggested bringing in shabbat early. How practical is it, especially in winter (where we live, we light as early as 3:30pm) especially if you/your DH are working Fridays? As of now, I leave the office 1.5hrs before candlelighting, my usual commute is just under 1hr so I get back home just 30-45min to spare.

So obviously, EVERYTHING except for fresh salad is made by Thursday night. Now, we don't have those huge American style freezers, so bulk cooking and freezing are out of question. (Also for those of you who freeze chicken soup, what do you do with veggies? My family loves veggies cooked in the chicken soup but they go soggy/texture change once frozen.)

We also don't have an eat-in kitchen, so setting a table in advance for Shabbat is not an option as family eats Fri breakfast and lunch (both milky) on the same dining table. For ecological reason and likvod Shabbat, we also do not use disposables (unless I'm having more than 25 people for a meal).

Being a Sephardi household, we normally do salatim for 1st course on Shabbat lunch. So that's probably 4-5 dips/salatim, plus a few hot items. And we do have guests most weeks--mostly for lunches as DH is too tired and many of our friends have young children.

A couple of things I've learned to make it manageable. DH and I call it Xtreme Shabbat Prep.
* I'm a list freak. I have three lists--grocery shopping lists, what to cook list and general to do list. First two are closely related. My cooking list is in chronological order, as in:
Tue--choc mousse, fidellos, roast peppers, lamb/meatballs, soak chickpeas and fenugreek,
Wed--chicken soup, clean/marinate chicken, baba ganoush, hilbe, cook chickpeas
Thu--hilbe, cake, rice, green beans, fish, chicken, carrot salad. DH does bulk of grocery shopping. I start cooking Tuesday in winter, Wednesday in summer. Most things are fine in the fridge.

* As I walk into the house just before candlelighting and DH is home earlier, he is in charge of hoovering. If he's not home, my kids are in charge. They're also in charge of basic things like setting the candles.

* Shabbat clothing: kids shirts/clothes are non-iron (or DD irons her own). Our cleaner who comes on Thurs iron DH's shirts.

* I shower Fri morning before going to work (in summer I shower after coming home but we have plenty of time, sometimes until 8pm). DD washes her long hair Thurs night so she just needs a quick shower.

* We've learned not to host (if possible) for both Fri dinner and Shabbat lunch. With clean-up, set the table again, etc, it's much harder to host two meals and I want to save one meal just for family. In a rare occasion I do both meals, I technically serve almost identical items for both meals (except for soup for dinner and salatim and fish for lunch).

juggling

Mon, Dec 21 2015, 5:19 am

Mrs. Bissli, sounds like you have a great system worked out! Which you need, given you do lots of hosting and work all day friday. I think the suggestions about being ready early (not bringing in shabbat, just being ready) were geared towards the type who are overhwhelmed with rushing around all day Friday and need a better plan to get them to candle lighting in one piece.

Raisin

Mon, Dec 21 2015, 5:37 am

mrs bissli, while I know no one in the UK with an american style fridge freezer, many people have an extra fridge or freezer stashed in the garage, laundry room or cellar.

Page 3 of 4

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next