Dh is upset when I cook chicken...

water_bear88

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 6:17 am

OP, I didn't find the title offensive, but I think it's gross to use bathroom words (vulgar, medical, and toddler versions alike) while in the context of discussing dinner.

If you have leftovers or sandwich ingredients on hand, I think it's fair to make something your dh isn't as fond of once in 10 days. If he's home early enough to make dinner, he can make it some nights and pick what he's making.

This thread ought to be pinned in the "Newlyweds" section as a warning- don't make your dh's absolute favorites every night, especially if he's less than effusive with his gratitude, unless you're prepared to continue like that for the next 50 or 60 years. It's definitely possible to spoil an adult.

etky

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 6:33 am

vicki wrote:

I'm with the OP 100%. Being a parent means more time focusing on the kids' needs and favorites, healthy yet quick meals and pity on the poor Mom if she is the one doing the cooking.
I am lucky that my dh doesn't care what I make. I often cook his favorites but I sometimes do one of mine, knowing he will have left over chicken soup for dinner. Which he does with a smile.
As she said, she really isn't a short order cook. In my opinion, to expect her to cook x 2 on those occasions that he isn't crazy about the menu is nutty.

Similar to whoever drives chooses the radio station, whoever cooks, well, gets a wide berth on what is for dinner. (obviously assuming everyone is given some consideration over time)

Exactly. OP's kids love chicken. Chicken is pretty much a staple of family dinners - it's nutritious, economic, versatile and also in many cases, kid-friendly. It's unrealistic not to serve it because OP's DH has become accustomed to more upscale entrees. The OP's DH is an adult who, given advance notice, can fend for himself (sandwich, take-out, leftovers etc.) on chicken nights. The way OP described his behavior he just sounds like a petulant child annoyed at his whims not being indulged.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:11 am

DH loves liver, tongue, and bell peppers. I'd rather starve than get near any of them, so I totally feel for your DH.

Compromise is the essence of a good marriage, so find a way to work it out, or stay eternally ticked off - your choice.

Amarante

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:11 am

Your husband doesn't want to eat chicken in any way shape or form?

That is quite a bit different than not liking dark meat or chicken bottoms but preferring breast meat.

Do I understand that your husband will only eat red meat for dinner and chicken is completely unacceptable however prepared.

The path of least resistance, if your budget is sufficient, is to get a steak or chop on the nights you cook chicken. You can't grill it on a George Foreman grill with salt, pepper and garlic with no preparation or better yet, he can throw it on.

Or buy prepared cold cuts and he can have a nice sandwich in lieu of the chicken.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:13 am

Our family is "not normal"
out of the 10 family members my husband is the only one that eats chicken on the bone.
So I make it for him once or twice a week,and I cook something else for the kids and myself.
I cook 2 or 3 different suppers on an average night,
By Monday or Tuesday my pantry and freeezer are almost empty bec. I had already cooked
so many diff. meals that I ran out of things to cook.
Cooking dinner for my family id the hardest chore by far.And takes up hours of my day.

morah

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:27 am

Sorry if I was harsh earlier, I find it very off-putting when someone calls another adult spoiled for not liking a certain food. No, you are not and should not ever be a short order cook, but people, both kids and adults, ARE allowed to have foods they don't eat and have that respected. I agree it's unrealistic to never make chicken when you have a family, as it is something that is easy, not terribly expensive, nutritious, and most kids will eat it. However, if your husband doesn't like it (and it seems he just doesn't, even if he used to), you need to figure something out for when you do make chicken. Maybe make sure the side for that night is something he really likes, but he'll have leftover beef from the day before. Maybe you agree to give him a heads-up when it's chicken night so he can prepare accordingly (either by grabbing himself takeout on the way home, or making himself something he likes when gets home). But this calls for solutions, not belittling. Of course, this assumes he's a reasonable person who will agree to sometimes be on his own for dinner or eat leftovers because he understands the needs of the family. If he's going to be unreasonable and insist on only wife-cooked fresh hot meals no matter what, you've got a bigger issue on your hands.

thunderstorm

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:33 am

This thread reminded me about a funny story with my parents. When they got married, my mother wanted to be a wonderful wife. She cant stomache chicken bottoms, she will only eat tops. So in her mind she assumed everyone felt the same way . So when she bought a package of chicken quarters she would always serve my father the tops while she secretly gagged on the bottoms, because she wanted my father to have the "best" part of the chicken. At the same time , my father really only liked bottoms, not tops! But he smiled and said the chicken was delicious even though he had a hard time swallowing it ...only months later did they both discover that they each liked the opposite!

Amarante

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:35 am

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

This is the culinary equivalent of O'Henry's famous short story - The Gift of the Magis Very Happy

Last edited by Amarante on Fri, Dec 18 2015, 11:04 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Gold

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:36 am

Wow. I can't believe how harsh everyone is being. As others said, a wife is not a cook. If she's making dinner, she can make whatever she wants. If he doesn't like something he can cook for himself or find something else to eat!! Since when is it a woman's job to take orders? There's nothing wrong with a man cooking (or picking up takeout) if he's picky. Just give him a heads up in advance what you're making that night so he can plan ahead. Luckily my dh isn't picky about food, cuz if he started complaining and insulting my dinners I would probably just stop cooking altogether.

cnc

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:45 am

Sadie wrote:

I've never heard the term chicken bottoms or chicken tops outside of imamother. I always heard either breast, leg, wing or light meat/dark meat.

When I google "chicken bottoms" all the top results are imamother posts, followed by a Yeshiva World News post, then a bunch of kosher cooking sites. Is "chicken bottoms" a frummy thing?

What on earth is a chicken bottom?

That's so interesting!
That's the way they're labeled at the butcher.

gp2.0

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:48 am

Sadie wrote:

They use the more polite terms top and bottom instead of breast and leg. Actually in the kosher supermarkets I do often see the package labeled as "chicken thighs" or "chicken legs" (legs usually being the leg without the thigh) however "bottom" became an easy way to refer to chicken that is both the leg and thigh.

You'll never see "chicken breast" in a kosher supermarket in Brooklyn though, the word "breast" being taboo. LOL

Amarante

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:49 am

amother wrote:

I think there was a misunderstanding because the original post specified chicken bottoms. My reaction was to shrug and say just make a whole chicken and give him white meat or breasts. No big deal.

OP should have specified that husband refused to eat chicken at all and responses would be different since chicken is a tried and true dish for children as they like it, it's healthy and it is economical so eliminating chicken at all is quite a bit different than cooking white and dark meat at the same meal.

Amarante

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 9:51 am

gp2.0 wrote:

Which is how white and dark meat became used in the Victorian era because it would have been boorish to refer o a body part at the table. I am sure the butchers and cooks weren't so refined. LOL

They also covers the legs of pianos. LOL

anotherima

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 10:17 am

My husband loves meat loaf but my kids couldn't stand it so I didn't make it. So OP, if your kids would get sick of chicken when they get older would you say tough too bad you spoiled kids? I like to make things that my family will eat. Maybe your husband should make a list of easy meals that he would like to eat (emphasis on easy). good luck and may this be your only worry in life.

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 11:02 am

amother wrote:

He isn't spoiled because he doesn't care for chicken bottoms by the( way I hate this expression that I have only witnessed here on imamother - it's dark meat or legs). And of course he's pissed. You're serving him a dinner you already know he's going to hate. It's fine to make it for yourself and the kids. But can't you serve him something else? Even a simple sandwich would obviously be better received. Best idea would be to make a double portion of whatever you serve the night before so he can have that again while you enjoy your "bottoms".

in my local grocery, it says "chicken bottoms" on the package

amother

Peach

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 11:49 am

amother wrote:

Imamother allows the word OP used in her title? I'd be MUCH less offended to see s-ex or v-agina than that word.

Wow! I never knew pissed was such a dirty word.. I meant to say as in upset.. whatever!

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Dec 18 2015, 12:12 pm

amother wrote:

Wow! I never knew pissed was such a dirty word.. I meant to say as in upset.. whatever!

It is a vulgar way to speak. Why can't you just edit your post and stop being so defensive?