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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 7:40 pm
Hi everyone,

I need help ASAP
I have 2 kids kah 4 1/2 and 2.
We (me and my dh) are really struggling.. We can barely control them, they don't listen to us. Any tips /ADVICE or maybe a good book you can recommend ?


Honestly I can't believe this is my life I am the oldest of 16kids kah and my husband comes from a family of 11. I would think that people like us growing up with babies and children will have some skills with kids

It's almost embarrassing I'm posting anonymous bc a lot of people know me and know how out of control our kids are, it's obvious we can't hid it

Thanks in advance
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MagentaYenta









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:04 pm
Simply because you grew up in a large family doesn't mean you are going to come away with parenting skills. Being a sibling is far different than being a parent.

Have you considered parenting classes?
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imasinger









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:10 pm
Parenting classes are a great idea. There are some good books out there. Many parents like 3-2-1 Magic. I'm a big fan of the Nurtured Heart Approach (I understand Dina Friedman's classes use similar ideas).

Can you give examples of the situations that bother you? Maybe you can figure out which advice you think would work based on the responses.
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piegirl









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:11 pm
I think that big families and small families have very different dynamics. I suggest reading Sarah Chana Radcliffe's books. She really helped give us direction.
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Lady Godiva









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:13 pm
amother wrote:
Hi everyone,

I need help ASAP
I have 2 kids kah 4 1/2 and 2.
We (me and my dh) are really struggling.. We can barely control them, they don't listen to us. Any tips /ADVICE or maybe a good book you can recommend ?


Honestly I can't believe this is my life I am the oldest of 16kids kah and my husband comes from a family of 11. I would think that people like us growing up with babies and children will have some skills with kids

It's almost embarrassing I'm posting anonymous bc a lot of people know me and know how out of control our kids are, it's obvious we can't hid it

Thanks in advance

It's hard for most parents to "control" toddlers. Are you sure you're struggling with real parenting, or are they just being normal kids and you're expecting too much of them?
Can you implement a reward system with charts, at least for the 4 year old?

Parenting classes is a good idea.
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morah









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:20 pm
Mine are the same ages. It can be very exhausting, which can make it hard to parent effectively. Also, 2 is just a really tough age. You can and should discipline at that age, but you don't really see the fruits of it till closer to 3. And 4 is fun but also frustrating. That's around the time they learn chutzpah. The books suggested are all really good. You gotta be consistent and try to also find and reward the positive. I know, not easy, especially if you're tired. Don't be so hard on yourself, especially regarding the toddler.
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Maryann









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:25 pm
Yes thanks I'm actually struggling with the 4 1/2 year old not the 2 year old
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saw50st8









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:32 pm
I really like the STEP program:

http://www.tiredofyelling.com/home

It's $20 for the download and worth every penny. It's a frum woman who runs the lectures and it's very practical for most situations. It doesn't really work for outlier kids (like explosive kids, kids with major sensory issues etc). It's great IMO and a cheap investment.
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LiLIsraeli









  


Post  Mon, Dec 21 2015, 8:34 pm
The best basic parenting book I've read is How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

It helps you change your approach to dealing with your kids and it's a great place to start.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk.....0380811960
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