To all you teachers out there!!

yo'ma

Wed, Dec 23 2015, 8:50 am

First of all, thank you so much for teaching our children!!!

Second, I would like to ask a question because of posts of mothers complaining about the tips that are constantly collected for the teachers. Not saying the mothers are wrong or right. My question is, of course you appreciate a gift or any form of hakaros hatov given to you, but how do you feel when you get an excess amount of gifts or the opposite, nothing or barely anything?

amother

Plum

Wed, Dec 23 2015, 9:17 am

I never expect gifts. This way, when I get, I'm surprised and I appreciate it. When I don't get anything, it doesn't bother me since I wasn't expecting it. When a parent gives a lot, I keep asking myself why and if I really deserve it. Obviously, I try hard with every student but 90% of the time, it's the parents of well behaved kids who are extremely generous. I know one teacher who calls it a bribe when parents of difficult children are generous. I don't consider it a bribe; I feel that the parent recognized that I worked extremely hard with the child and is trying to show appreciation. If I would need to be bribed to deal with difficult children, I'm in the wrong profession.

amother

Burlywood

Wed, Dec 23 2015, 9:36 am

I don't expect gifts, or really pay attention to the amount of the gift (at least in a judgy way, I mean of course I notice it!) but I will admit that I do feel a little resentful when the year ends without at least a verbal thank you or a note.

pond user

Wed, Dec 23 2015, 10:04 am

I work at a public school in the UK. The rule is, parents may not give any money to a teacher, as it could be concidered bribery. Also there is a risk of a teacher giving preferential treatment to a child because of a generous parent; this would be a very easy way for a teacher to begin 'grooming' the student.

Obviously receiving gifts or cards is always appreciated, especially when it's well thought out (the child writes his own message etc). But it's pricey for parents to have to send gifts to all their children's teachers. The rule of thumb is to send in something for the whole staff team, (chocolates, cake or fruit, one parent even sent a basket if mini perfumes) and the child's key person, sometimes receive something small in addition to that.

As a teacher you should know that the thought is so much more important than the gift. A card work just as well (often better) as cash or a gift. No one is in the teaching industry for the money; it's the reward of making a difference.